Virgin 27 Male - Suicidal Rage

[Spiritual Warrior]

Hi, I lost my virginity at 29 years old, you are not alone brother. 

The thing that helped me the most was taking dance classes, you will gain hands on experience talking and leading women around a dance floor.

This does wonders for your confidence, don't give up. Ask for what you want and keep fighting for it. Suicide is a coward's path. 

[Javfly33]

On 14/07/2024 at 7:19 PM, Jannes said:

 

For me I know very well that sex is not what primarily makes a good life. I have big dreams of what my life can be and sex doesnt play a role there. But my lust for sex clouds my vision. Surpressing my sexuality doesnt work. I have to burn through some karma first then my mind is freed up to care about more meaningful things. 

 

I get what you mean. 

Sex is important is a bondage for you, then it becomes the most important thing.

Ironically when you put yourself first before sex, everything clears up.

So the problem is not having sex or not, the big problem is not having it and desiring it. In that you fucked up

[Sandroew]

I'm addressing you wanting to give up life here. 

 

That hopelessness what you feel is exactly what you need. Feel into it. You are fucked beyond redemption, so just give up. BUT GIVE UP COMPLETELY! Fuck it all. Give up doing ANYTHING anymore for the sake of this futile existence. Go into it more and more like this. Eventually you realize nothing will satisfy you in life. Fulfilling your needs won't make the suffering go away either. You are just delaying the inevitable. So just give them up too. Get rid of all your "wants" and needs. If you go into it deep enough that will include the need of ending life too. Then realise how useless thinking is. It never helped you! No thought is worthy of existence. So same as everything else, just give up thinking. JUST. GIVE. UP. Now all you have is your breath and sensory perceptions. This is your meditation. Welcome to spirituality 😉

[Salvijus]

This thread is already dead by I still wanted to express this. 

The idea that losing virginity means success is a dumb idea. You're successful only if you find the person fit enough to spend your life with, someone you can rely on with your life and be of one breath. Only then is it worth bonding with such a person on the most intimate level sex. Otherwise you're just creating soul ties to random people you don't even care about. And people say this is success. But actually such people are getting lower and lower not higher by doing that.  You're much more by being a virgin than someone who had "success" but doesn't actually have a meaningful relationship. That "success" is actually just a wound in your soul at that point. 

Another point that's on my mind is that, you're not going to find the person you're meant o be with by hitting random strangers in a nightclub or smth. It's only if you follow your life purpose wholeheartedly that you will naturally cross path with someone you're meant to be with. 

Also losing virginity is not going to reduce your sexual drive. It will make it worse only. 

Just had to get these thoughts out. 

Edited July 29, 2024 by Salvijus

[Sandroew]

Yes, losing virginity is pretty much meaningless once you are through it.

With that being said, the solution for OP's problem is still getting competent in he's dating life.

[Yeah Yeah]

@Salvijus I am reading the replies still. I have to sort of within my emotions finally flip the switch and feel good about a strong desire I cannot control or have fulfilled you know when I want it - I have to live my life around this desire and even intergrate this desire into my daily life and acknowledge it and let it blossom I suppose. 

Edited July 30, 2024 by Yeah Yeah

[RedLine]

Two recommendations:

1. Acceptance work. Fully accept the pain that bring you the idea you are a virgin. It will reduce your suffer in a hugh degree. Watch some Artem Boytsov videos, he is very good at explaining Acceptance work.

2. (Probably unpopular recommendacion): go out and start hitting up to the uggliest and fat girls in the place. Eventually you will hook up with some and you will break up the tabu of virginity.

 

[Husseinisdoingfine]

Bro just download Tinder.

Just make sure you get high quality professionally done photographs.

[Yeah Yeah]

@RedLine dude it gets so intense bro I could fucking end it dude I could just quit work go home and have a good cry

[Yeah Yeah]

@Bandman You sound strong bro - I do not know you, but I do believe you can overcome these "physical" twiches and spasms, this does not sound like something you were born with, or something that may be permanent. I'd go so far as to say that if you align yourself with the desire to be socially exceptional you can do it, maybe even in your own way; but maybe Quarantine and social media distracts us from persuing fulfilling social connnections to an in-depth extent to which can spiritually evolve us through change. 

I believe that if you be mindful of the present moment, and use people as social mirrors you can re-calibrate yourself with progressive practise each new person at a time. 

That is how I started socializing 2015 coming out of homeschooling, I started by asking people for the time, eventually making jokes and then becoming more friendly with people; and it definitely worked for me at least. 

Do try the carnivore diet, but I believe with faith in your desire to be more socially attuned you'll develop something from within yourself that is most natural to your default of well being which is most dominant but the human ego is an alert system which if it goes too far away from this natural well being then it becomes shakey like a car steering off on the side road bumps. 

Dude I will tonight put aside 5 mintutes pray for you Bandman

Idk if you have listened to Abraham Hicks, though where I'm coming from is channeling some of her teachings here to you so you may hopefully in some sense align more with your desire to be socially attuned which is most natural to yourself - Side note; after years of listening to this woman, I'm actually converted into looking at the world through her teachings (For many years since like 2018 I had strong doubts, she sounded weird, but at some part of myself I've become addicted to her strange games and I'm hooked to believe it more since these recent months as my life has finally been catching up with my self-improvement efforts to not be in low vibrations and I'm all the more listening to her and being joyous even if my manifestations feel like they'll never arrive) Her teachings is opposite to Alan Watts whom I find most addictive and his is somewhat depressing to me but highly inspiring, as he teaches that there's nothing I can do to improve myself as an ego and instead be this biological organisim and allow the spontanious being to simply express itself with the flow of nature but idk surely the flow of being could be set up differently perhaps idk though maybe listen to Abraham Hicks for example and perhaps something can resonate.

 

Another note; I feel like I am a nice guy, but this hurts me as I look at women as angels in face to face slight interactions but I sense these women are out drinking and having their cheek go rosey red with moans to some stud manipulating her adrenaline through dms and then eventually they come back around to me for example to then settle down and this hurts bro but I have to be happy any ways and play life's strange games because maybe I can actually handle all this but I'm cutting myself short - Maybe this hook up culture is supposed to be me but I'm too christian nice guy wait for marriage idk dude I wish I couldn't care bro but I do and I cannot give up on this desire because that is literally impossible and it'll only swell in greater demands which I suck at fulfilling - Since when has Hell become my antidote???

Edited July 31, 2024 by Yeah Yeah

[Yeah Yeah]

These desire are like invisible energy serpernts twining around my inner being and almost squeezing me with some sort of hormones which have no way to release (Except porn which has been painful to contain as self disipline and even almost impossible and perhaps a waste of time to attempt at all) - And I have to attend to this intensity and instead focus it on being joyous or else the negativity may cause an early heart attack - But why do I want to live past 40 anyways if I have these torments? So on some level I am tensing my heart and injuring myself because why be old and unfulfilled and run down and just about over with life and its just a down hill slope and I'm forced to be joyouse about it when I am convinced on an ego level that I am indeed not joyous about the cards life has given to me (beliefs, anxiety levels, temperment levels, emotional levels - and so forth all these particual unique mixtures I must navigate as my existence and I suck at it; failing myself; displeasing myself)

Edited July 31, 2024 by Yeah Yeah

[Yeah Yeah]

Death, falling apart, old age, injuries which may be merciless as I get older and weaker, losing loved ones, failures, silly ideas for success which may be nonesense social constructs I live my life to attain which probably misses the point to life anyways, always striving for the next week's paycheck or next year's goals to be fullfilled and a continual disatisfaction and uncertainty about non-existent security in the present.

 

The set up of life enrages me - Time should be slower, no poverty and suffering but more joy than suffering, like illness and injuries which one may have to live out their lives dealing with, uncertanties and just the way we build cities because on some level nature sucks - I mean walking to rivers to collect water, eating animals on mass murder to keep living and populating, its too cold too hot, the rain sucks, the sun can kill, having to wait for harvests to grow if they do, nature disasters, diseases like idk dude I get I am somewhat fortunate to be bore in this current day and age and Country, but like any other time period must have sucked, even today some countries must suck - Idk the universe is too real and too poinant and almost going to come at you with matter that may not matter about you because eventually you die and the matter does not matter about that sort of thing as you become dust

 

Like the large majority of people just die as if they had never existed at all - Like what the hell - I have no say except to be a moving energy towards death and then wow I return back to god perhaps but its like idk what god had planned or if god can make mistakes - I wonder like how does god know - I doubt it - There is definitely uncertainty with god and god has two faces one which is joyous and the other which contrasts it with sadness and the centre point of these contrasts is probably a deep swelling of immense love which encompasses both what could potentially not have ever been at all which is god and a strange thought and the otherside it the joy of god having existed - But idk if the afterlife is pure positive energy as Abraham Hicks or Teal Swan puts it - I think even the god head can experience immense uncertainty and the cosmos at large is an orgamisim attemtping to survive and become whatever it doesn't know itself as being but it too struggles to survive like any organisim on this rock 

 

And this survival uncertainty expanding with urgency and insecurity and probably lonliness is just how life is; if that is existence dude in a nut shell like idk will god ever figure itself out or is that why it expresses itself through us to learn about itself (Universe) for some sort of cosmic survival understanding like it too doesn't know where it is or where it came from or if it needs to survive but for some reason it does so like any other organisim 

Edited July 31, 2024 by Yeah Yeah

[Yeah Yeah]

Alan Watts also teaches to have a quiet mind - These are just venting thoughts but I do my best to avoid going too in depth with thinking these subjects else I may lose myself to potential falsehoods instead of being present in the moment god whatever that means like the present moment is fleeting like I'm just aware in a body prone to death

[Yeah Yeah]

Like chess for example - It is so much easier to make a mistake and lose at a game than it is to succeed at pinning down a victory - Like the game of black and white who will win is (in my current opinion which is most of this venting) a silly game in life its like can't there be different rules if god is so perfect - Or maybe this is perfect though I'm a finite ego driven ape

Edited July 31, 2024 by Yeah Yeah

[RedLine]

10 hours ago, Yeah Yeah said:

@RedLine dude it gets so intense bro I could fucking end it dude I could just quit work go home and have a good cry

Yes, when you are back home from work, sit in silence, feel the emotions in your body and cry if the body ask you that; you will feel release. Repeat that as many times as needed.

Eventually you will feel better and can plan some strategies to start talking with girl (baby steps)

Edited July 31, 2024 by RedLine

[Salvijus]

If you think losing virginity is glory, think again. 

If you think you'll find glorious god blessed relationship by being a slave to your sexual organ. Think again. Because God does not guide you in life through your dick. He speaks to you and guides you in life through your heart. So it's only by being loyal to your heart's voice can you live God's given life to you, blessed with gloriousness in every aspect of life including relationships. 

Every other alternative is suffering and misery. It may sparkle and shine with glitters. But behind that glitter is more suffering. 

Edited July 31, 2024 by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

The idea that getting laid 100times with 100 different women somehow increases your chances of finding the right women is bogus aswell. You're only scattering yourself more and more until you won't be able to stick to anyone anymore because you have so many soul ties now. And even if you do find a girlfriend, it's not going to be very deep and intimate anymore because part of you is somewhere else now. Only an extremely elevated spirit would be able to have that many ties and not lose the its integrity and not get scattered. Those are very rare. 

Edited July 31, 2024 by Salvijus

[Javfly33]

@Yeah Yeah Do you actually want to have sex with a woman (I mean physically-desire) or is mostly mental?

Most of this stories is just because internally there are certain blocks in your system so mentally you would like to fuck some girl just to lose your v-card yet physically your body actually do not have that desire.

In fact I have 95% you do not, because if not why you do not hire a scort or prostitute? Is what I did. Then I found out the system within is not running properly, lots of disturbances and karmic imprints.

Quote

Another note; I feel like I am a nice guy, but this hurts me as I look at women as angels in face to face slight interactions but I sense these women are out drinking and having their cheek go rosey red with moans

😂

Then become that stud. What is stopping you? 

Quote

to some stud manipulating her adrenaline through dms

Mmm, don´t assume so easily. Some women will enjoy and respect that kind of 'game', particularly if you are coming from a 'nice guy' type of vibe, she definitely respect and value if you become more confident and masculine vibe.

You should respect women too that like having their cheek go rosey red with moans. Sure, is not the most highest type of sex and it comes with consequences, but stop judging that is a first step to actually materialising it (if you want to do that). 

Edited July 31, 2024 by Javfly33

[Yeah Yeah]

—The statues are in the museum.'

—No, they pursue you, why can't you see it? I mean with their broken limbs, with their shape from another time, a shape you don't recognize yet know. It's as though in the last days of your youth you loved a woman who was still beautiful, and you were always afraid, as you held her naked at noon, of the memory aroused by your embrace; were afraid the kiss might betray you to other beds now of the past which nevertheless could haunt you so easily, so easily, and bring to life images in the mirror, bodies once alive: their sensuality. It's as though returning home from some foreign country you happen to open an old trunk that's been locked up a long time and find the tatters of clothes you used to wear on happy occasions, at festivals with many-colored lights, mirrored, now becoming dim, and all that remains is the perfume of the absence of a young form. Really, those statues are not the fragments. You yourself are the relic; they haunt you with a strange virginity at home, at the office, at receptions for the celebrated, in the unconfessed terror of sleep; they speak of things you wish didn't exist or would happen years after your death, and that's difficult because…'

—'The statues are in the museum.

Good night.'

 

George Seferis, 'Thrush'

[BlueOak]

Sorry i've not read through all of this. I used to pickup girls so here is my 2 cents.

The pressure you put on yourself to get laid is part of the reason you are not getting laid. You are inventing all these cerebral things in your mind. Get off your butt, seriously, stop sitting there and go approach women.

Approach 500 women.
Make it a game. When you get rejected have a laugh about it, and when you get good, the girl won't feel bad either because you'll develop some charisma.

Somewhere around X number you are going to start realising you are good at it, and you couldn't care less if one girl turns you down because you'll just move on to the next. 
 

On 31/07/2024 at 8:02 AM, Yeah Yeah said:

Like chess for example - It is so much easier to make a mistake and lose at a game than it is to succeed at pinning down a victory - Like the game of black and white who will win is (in my current opinion which is most of this venting) a silly game in life its like can't there be different rules if god is so perfect - Or maybe this is perfect though I'm a finite ego driven ape

This is a perfect example of what I mean.

Picking up women is not a strategy chess game. It's walking up to them, saying a line or two, getting blown off most of the time, and then sometimes getting lucky. It's fairly predictable if you are an average dude or not very attractive. Rarely will you'll get a slap or an ego shot, and sometimes their friend will be the one hitting on you but that's about the only surprise you can expect.

If you want a real relationship, that takes time, effort, listening, relating, and persistence. If you just want to get laid, do what I suggest, go approach 500 women. Keep count. You can approach 20 in a night easily enough. Remember when you are doing this, you are not caring what happens, you are just having an experience. 

Edited August 1, 2024 by BlueOak