Can't be Creative Without Weed

[Wisebaxter]

I've always smoked weed when I've made music and when I'm not stoned I don't find it half as engaging. It's probably the main reason I haven't been able to give it up for the last 20 years. When I'm high I just enjoy it so much. I score Film, TV and Games and I'm studying it at uni, so right now, with a final assignment due, I've had to keep buying the stuff even though I'm in a bad financial situation, I mean really bad. Besides this risk factor from the habit, it bothers me that I can't even do my intended career without being blazed  

Right now though I'm thinking, shall I just say fuck it, I am a stoner composer and that's how it is. Obviously there's the money aspect and that has to be handled, but I love smoking, watching batman clips and making music, which is what I'm doing right now. I get so into it, like watching a movie but I'm creating part of the mood. What are your views on this? Accepting it seems like a wise idea right now and I'm guessing most of you will agree. Weed enhances everything right? I got some good grades recently which I know I wouldn't have got if I hadn't spent my days living like a hermit, getting wrecked and doing nothing but making music. I sometimes feel like I've cheated almost 

Edited July 8 by Wisebaxter

[Evelyna]

@Wisebaxter It is possible that you just programmed your creativity to work only when you smoke, I’m just making an assumption. This would mean you have created a habit and habits can be changed.  I suspect your problem here  is that you have no desire to change this habit because smoking works for you, it’s effectiveness was a decisive element. Now, you always have a choice in either keeping the habit or changing the habit. People move away from pain and move towards pleasure , it’s almost encoded in us. Question I would ask is: have tried any other way to be creative? Have you looked for inspiration any other way? Maybe there’s something else that could also work , you just need to find it. 

[MarkKol]

Shrooms>Weed

[Lucasxp64]

It just became a habitual pattern, I'd guess.

Some people say they can't get stuff done without coffee. Well, they are addicted to it chemically... But the trigger of doing is the crucial part too. Some just swap decaffeinated coffee. 

Like people that have to jerk off every time they feel the urge. We really don't. It's just an acquired thing.

You just over-used the pattern of being in that weed-induced state of mind for creativity.

[Paradoxed]

If you continue telling yourself you need weed, you will continue feeling like you need weed. What you believe is incredibly strong.

Your manifesting a reality for yourself right now that makes it difficult to quit because you tell yourself you need it to be creative.

[Wisebaxter]

On 09/07/2024 at 1:01 PM, Evelyna said:

@Wisebaxter It is possible that you just programmed your creativity to work only when you smoke, I’m just making an assumption. This would mean you have created a habit and habits can be changed.  I suspect your problem here  is that you have no desire to change this habit because smoking works for you, it’s effectiveness was a decisive element. Now, you always have a choice in either keeping the habit or changing the habit. People move away from pain and move towards pleasure , it’s almost encoded in us. Question I would ask is: have tried any other way to be creative? Have you looked for inspiration any other way? Maybe there’s something else that could also work , you just need to find it. 

@Evelyna Yeah I suppose my barrier is the emotional labour from changing, I've always had pretty bad willpower and like you say, it works. It helps me enjoy it and put in the hours to develop at it, so quitting now when I've come so far, feels weird. But yeah I do have a choice and maybe there's something else I could try. Working after Kriya Yoga or something. Homeostasis has me by the balls  I have to be open and set the intention to try. It blows my mind how hard it is for an organism to change. You see it all around you don't you, people in far worse states and unable to do anything. Thanks for posting  

On 09/07/2024 at 10:00 PM, MarkKol said:

Shrooms>Weed

@MarkKol Yeah I have microdosed and that does work very well. Never taken a normal dose and tried though, have you? It might be harder to work. 

On 10/07/2024 at 1:30 AM, Lucasxp64 said:

It just became a habitual pattern, I'd guess.

Some people say they can't get stuff done without coffee. Well, they are addicted to it chemically... But the trigger of doing is the crucial part too. Some just swap decaffeinated coffee. 

Like people that have to jerk off every time they feel the urge. We really don't. It's just an acquired thing.

You just over-used the pattern of being in that weed-induced state of mind for creativity.

@Lucasxp64 You're not wrong, I'm just a slave to a habit I've built up and can't find a path back from. I only seem capable of real change when shit hits the fan. Like recently when I ran out of money for food, I decided weed was the devil and threw my bong away. Then I sold my phone and just bought some more as the pressure was off. I just don't have the drive to try and change it normally. It's far too stimulating and I'm a pleasure junkie. It's really the only area pleasure I get as I have no family, friends etc. I just live for my craft and escape into it. 

On 10/07/2024 at 2:06 AM, Paradoxed said:

If you continue telling yourself you need weed, you will continue feeling like you need weed. What you believe is incredibly strong.

Your manifesting a reality for yourself right now that makes it difficult to quit because you tell yourself you need it to be creative.

@Paradoxed An important point and one I'm ignorant of most of the time, until I have this realisation and I'm constantly creating this narrative and I'm able to just observe more and stay unattached. But again, you need to actually practice this shit with intention right, for it to take root. I do tell myself I need it to be creative, and that keeps being reinforced by my experience of that. Perhaps I live out the experience as I've already visualised it. But the experience must have come first surely...

Edited July 11 by Wisebaxter

[integral]

Well to start it might make sense to make a list of all the things that buff brain plasticity, growth, interconnectedness, neurological benefit.

State maxing.

The first is if I don’t do high intensity exercise that day my creative flow is 90% diminished.

Poor sleep is another 75% de-buff.

eating a heavy meal or some thing that might trigger brain fog through a sensitivity is a strong 80% D-buff.

Masturbating twice in a row is a good 40% flow de-buff. But sex because of its exercise component is a general buff

so yeah get your buff up and your de-buff down.

Edited July 12 by integral

[Paradoxed]

 

On 7/11/2024 at 7:50 PM, Wisebaxter said:

@Paradoxed An important point and one I'm ignorant of most of the time, until I have this realisation and I'm constantly creating this narrative and I'm able to just observe more and stay unattached. But again, you need to actually practice this shit with intention right, for it to take root. I do tell myself I need it to be creative, and that keeps being reinforced by my experience of that. Perhaps I live out the experience as I've already visualised it. But the experience must have come first surely...

Yeah dude, its definitely really hard to change your framework and belief system. Or it isn't hard at all and the only reason it feels difficult is because you tell yourself it is difficult. If you genuinely believe weed helps you, why are you going about wanting to change that? Your time on Earth is short and its more important that you enjoy your life than creating some false problem about weed. That is the ego-mind game you are playing looking for problems.

If you had some particular financial goal you could justify quitting weed to save money. Or if you had a health concern then you could justify stopping for that. If you looked for reasons to quit you could find them. But it seems as if there is no real problem as you are still maintaining creativity and productivity.

Any addiction or habit could be a problem in a sense. But you are addicted to many things in this life including entertaining yourself with thoughts. Desire doesn't stop. This is your domain so don't beat yourself up. You imagined weed so that you could smoke it!
 

Edited July 13 by Paradoxed

[Wisebaxter]

On 13/07/2024 at 4:12 PM, Paradoxed said:

 

Yeah dude, its definitely really hard to change your framework and belief system. Or it isn't hard at all and the only reason it feels difficult is because you tell yourself it is difficult. If you genuinely believe weed helps you, why are you going about wanting to change that? Your time on Earth is short and its more important that you enjoy your life than creating some false problem about weed. That is the ego-mind game you are playing looking for problems.

If you had some particular financial goal you could justify quitting weed to save money. Or if you had a health concern then you could justify stopping for that. If you looked for reasons to quit you could find them. But it seems as if there is no real problem as you are still maintaining creativity and productivity.

Any addiction or habit could be a problem in a sense. But you are addicted to many things in this life including entertaining yourself with thoughts. Desire doesn't stop. This is your domain so don't beat yourself up. You imagined weed so that you could smoke it!
 

@Paradoxed That post gave me a lot to think about, thanks for taking the time. I have had these moments where I feel I should just embrace it and the whole 'fighting it' thing and the idea that I'm 'an addict,' is, like you say, just a friggin mind game and a load of bullshit. I feel like weed also becomes this big scapegoat for me that's convenient to blame because I don't have this or that. More specifically I don't own a house, a car or a pet, don't have a girlfriend/wife and really have bare minimum possessions. Basically a laptop, a VR headset and a bag of clothes.. I decided to go unemployed in my early 20s and devote my life to making music. 20 years later and people around me are enjoying the things they've built, homes, kids and shit, but not this guy! So weed gets the blame. There's all this stuff in our culture about how drugs make you a down and out as well, so that feeds into the narrative. I'm certainly anti social, that's for sure. But I think I was always heading this way. It's impossible to tell. 

I'm going to just embrace it now. If I run out of money again, God will step in, it always does. I often have this idea or sense that God wants me to be a blatant stoner and make amazing works of art so that's why I am this way. If I got out of my own way more that's the experience I would probably have. God as a stoner composer who gives zero shits

Edited July 16 by Wisebaxter

[Paradoxed]

@Wisebaxter It sounds like you chose to live differently than others. That being said smoking weed isn't at odds with anything you mentioned inherently unless it effects you that way. Plenty of people who smoke weed are successful. It's obviously not a productivity drug, more of a creative drug if anything.

Smoking weed is not at odds with success or the things you mentioned. You need to imagine a reality with those things if you really want them, and work towards getting them. It may be that you don't really want those things. Like it would be a huge shame if you didn't have a house and kids because you couldn't stop smoking weed or whatever. It is possible but I just don't buy it. You sound similar to me where I compare myself to others but I chose a completely different path in life.

You are narrating your own life right now. You definitely do not need to smoke weed to be creative so stop telling yourself that. You don't need weed at all. You like weed and justify it by saying it helps you be creative.

It sounds like you just need to sit with yourself a little more to determine whether this habit has been a problem for you. I will say, you would save quite a bit of money by quitting if money is a problem. Those types of habits are less harmful if you have money to blow.
 

Edited July 14 by Paradoxed

[Wisebaxter]

On 14/07/2024 at 11:01 PM, Paradoxed said:

@Wisebaxter 

You are narrating your own life right now. You definitely do not need to smoke weed to be creative so stop telling yourself that. You don't need weed at all. You like weed and justify it by saying it helps you be creative.
 

@Paradoxed

This is a very valid point and one I lose sight of, so thanks. The thing is, when I try and do creative stuff whilst sober I just don't enjoy it. Is it because I've programmed myself with the lie so heavily that I'm living it out? I just find weed keeps me engaged in it. It has to be pure biological programming right? 

On 14/07/2024 at 11:01 PM, Paradoxed said:

I will say, you would save quite a bit of money by quitting if money is a problem. Those types of habits are less harmful if you have money to blow.

Yeah that's the shitter. I'd probably be fine with the whole thing if I could afford it. I hope I can test that out one day. I do often thing it's made me into a recluse somehow, but I have no solid evidence for that. 

On 14/07/2024 at 11:01 PM, Paradoxed said:

it would be a huge shame if you didn't have a house and kids because you couldn't stop smoking weed or whatever

Yeah man, poor weed gets the blame for it all. This is very illuminating. It has a quite a 'rap sheet'  in my mind. lots of people might argue that it's to blame for a lot and I'm now telling myself I should accept it as that's easier than quitting. How can I find out the truth? I also have this belief that it makes me overthink a lot. Looking at it now, my self concept is very defined by the stuff. I suppose I should just let it go and stop reinforcing It right 

 

 

 

Edited July 20 by Wisebaxter

[Paradoxed]

I would say stop blaming weed and start blaming yourself for not having the things you want to have. If you think it's clouding your mind that much, you could try slowing down and re prioritizing it or just stopping. You don't know what being sober is like anymore. Sobriety could bring clarity for you (it's not guaranteed). If you are motivated and see a reason in stopping, it will be easier to stop.

If you don't know if it's even a problem for you, then it'll be much harder to stop. If you have this deep intuition it is hurting your life somehow then it's probably is.

If you think you are not successful by societal standards, you need to ask yourself how important conventional success is, and weigh being conventionally successful vs. having a weed habit and being more creative musically. I believe if you stopped smoking weed and fully quit you'd still be creative. That being said a really motivated individual can smoke weed and still be successful.

Why do you label yourself as unsuccessful? Are you not living exactly the way you want to?

If there is something you want that you don't have, try to manifest that reality for yourself. Imagine having the wife or the car. Really put yourself there and ask yourself what that would look like. What would you be doing? Are you doing everything you could to create this reality for yourself?