Is a divorce always the man's fault?

[mr_engineer]

When a divorce happens, we have a reflex reaction to feel sorry for the woman and to blame the man for it. 

Let's look deeper into that. Why is that our first reaction? 

[Evelyna]

Depends on perspective and personal experience, personal judgment and so on , man is not always to blame. For example many homosexual relationships also fall apart. To really dive in to this you would need to look at each particular case and this isn’t really possible , I personally keep an open mind and simply assume I don’t and can’t know who’s to blame in any relationship. 

Edited July 7, 2024 by Evelyna

[Yimpa]

There are countless reasons why shit hits the fan.

[Evelyna]

19 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

There are countless reasons why shit hits the fan.

exactly!

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, Evelyna said:

exactly!

Your profile pic looks exactly like a fan 

[NoSelfSelf]

Well it could be that man initiated divorce,also if women does it its man's fault because he's the leader he chose her,he detirmens the direction and everything else, how the thing is going to happen and where the marrige is going.

From first step you made towards marriege it can be traced that you f up somwhere.

If you lack self accountability you aint no man.

Edited July 7, 2024 by NoSelfSelf

[mr_engineer]

@NoSelfSelf Why can't this same logic be applied to women? Even if the man is the leader (which people will call you sexist for saying, but let's say it's true), shouldn't women also be held accountable for the failure of a marriage?! Or, is a marriage entirely a man's responsibility? 

[Yimpa]

@mr_engineer It depends on what your definition of marriage is. It’s not just black and white meaning.

[NoSelfSelf]

@mr_engineer Okay lets not talk in phantasy realm, list me things what women would do so you can say its her fault.

Edited July 7, 2024 by NoSelfSelf

[mr_engineer]

• Out of the blue deciding that 'she wants to find herself' so she steps out on the marriage, instead of finding herself before getting into dating. 
• Cheating 
• Choosing the wrong man (this one goes both ways) 
• Being argumentative and adversarial 
• Spreading rumors about her husband through gossip, creating a conflict-ridden environment 
• Using sex as a manipulative tactic, destabilizing the relationship 
• Being hyper-critical, nagging 
• Being a control-freak, being cynical 

You want me to continue? 

[Evelyna]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

Your profile pic looks exactly like a fan 

it could be a fan

 

[Yimpa]

Divorce is completely valid if it is an abusive relationship. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@mr_engineer I can already tell all those points is your fault lets disect.

First point-she needs to find herself because there is nothing she can learn about herself through you! its your job to elevate her so she can find things about herself from the first date!but because you are looking at the body vs what's beyond,you cant do that because you yourself is on superficial level.

Cheating-when does the cheating happens? During marriage? And she didnt do it before? 9/10 you are not good in bed.You chose to get married to the woman who has no integrity which you didnt pick up during the dating phase because you knew shes best i can get so you were afraid to drop her.

Choosing a wrong man-how can you even say this low self esteem sentace she cant choose a wrong man i guess if you saying this she did, but if you truly "the man" there is nobody like you ,she will never find somebody better if you a man in this day and age.

Argumentative-there is no arguments i say on first date im a drama free and i have expectation to talk like adults with gentle voice ill never raise my voice at you and transition to other things.

To be your wife she would be argumentative so you cut her off, her being your wife is the toughest mountain she will clime in her life.

Spreading rumors gossip she lost her respect for you ,because you acting weak bottom line but you are imagining this bs through somebody elses story, so you fing up already before you even got into relationship.

Using sex as a manipulation- this could be many things you fing up most common is she can tell you are thirsty for sex and have no game so she turns the table to.run game on you, this will be exposed before marriage then you cut her off because you dont play games.

Critical-critical of what nagging about what usually because you not fucking her right ,or indirectly telling you she dont value your leadership skills because you have no structure.(to the sexist part if somebody believes that then being under a boss is sexist,letting someone navigate a bus boat etc. To get you to certen destination is sexist.

Being control freak-because you have nothing under the control.she could smell you are weak because you were potraying a role that you are a man ,then she found out you werent so now shes mad because you dishonest.

Keep them coming if you want 

Edited July 7, 2024 by NoSelfSelf

[Danioover9000]

@mr_engineer

2 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

When a divorce happens, we have a reflex reaction to feel sorry for the woman and to blame the man for it. 

Let's look deeper into that. Why is that our first reaction? 

   It's due to multiculturalism, egalitarianism, individualism, and feminism run amok in most western countries. Feminism empowers woman, which is nice on paper, but in some situations mixed with individualism, capitalism, and female exceptionalism, women now can dictate terms and conditions onto the male partners regardless of impact it has collectively. For example due to the work culture and western ideology in South Korea and some in Japan, their birthrates are declining and marriage and family values are getting eroded. People who are too modernism, too into PUA and sexual liberation, too into hypergamey and poly relations, open relations and stuff will have committment issues in long term relationships.

   The situation is so bad that most people blame the husbands/fathers more than the wife/mothers divorcing, and people ignore the consequence off that 50/50 money split between them, and visitation rights issues faced especially more by fathers than mothers. We now don't care about broken homes or single parent household nightmares caused by secularist societies pushing them agendas, they just wanna be liberal and free! This is what happens when conservative values get eroded, it leads into these degenerate behaviors that are immoral under the Christian worldview!

[Danioover9000]

@mr_engineer

25 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

• Out of the blue deciding that 'she wants to find herself' so she steps out on the marriage, instead of finding herself before getting into dating. 
• Cheating 
• Choosing the wrong man (this one goes both ways) 
• Being argumentative and adversarial 
• Spreading rumors about her husband through gossip, creating a conflict-ridden environment 
• Using sex as a manipulative tactic, destabilizing the relationship 
• Being hyper-critical, nagging 
• Being a control-freak, being cynical 

You want me to continue? 

   Nice short list, please continue! I also might add that if you do care about reducing tax payer money too much into single parent households or into these social homes or orphanages by social welfare states, then you should more value the conservative values of marriage and family building, maybe develop more morality that is consistent and easily enforced by you. If you do this and more men do this then welfare state get's to be reduced and you'll have some money back to you. But because those left leaning states love inducing conditions of higher divorce rates and single parent households, especially onto black community for example, it'll be a hard road to recovery.

[mr_engineer]

8 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

First point-she needs to find herself because there is nothing she can learn about herself through you! its your job to elevate her so she can find things about herself from the first date!but because you are looking at the body vs what's beyond,you cant do that because you yourself is on superficial level.

The 'finding yourself' is supposed to happen before you date, not 'through the man'. It's a relationship, not a cult. 

8 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Cheating-when does the cheating happens? During marriage? And she didnt do it before? 9/10 you are not good in bed.You chose to get married to the woman who has no integrity which you didnt pick up during the dating phase because you knew shes best i can get so you were afraid to drop her.

That's no excuse. 

9 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Choosing a wrong man-how can you even say this low self esteem sentace she cant choose a wrong man i guess if you saying this she did, but if you truly "the man" there is nobody like you ,she will never find somebody better if you a man in this day and age.

The 'wrong man' doesn't necessarily mean someone who doesn't meet your 'real man' standards, it could just be someone who's incompatible. And compatibility is 100% your responsibility, man or woman. 

10 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Argumentative-there is no arguments i say on first date im a drama free and i have expectation to talk like adults with gentle voice ill never raise my voice at you and transition to other things.

To be your wife she would be argumentative so you cut her off, her being your wife is the toughest mountain she will clime in her life.

Why even climb the mountain, then?! Don't do it, then!! 

It's a really crappy thing to say to a man, that he can't add value to her life, that being with her is 'making her life tougher'. 

11 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Spreading rumors gossip she lost her respect for you ,because you acting weak bottom line but you are imagining this bs through somebody elses story, so you fing up already before you even got into relationship.

'Acting weak'. Yeah. Makes a lot of sense. 

12 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Using sex as a manipulation- this could be many things you fing up most common is she can tell you are thirsty for sex and have no game so she turns the table to.run game on you, this will be exposed before marriage then you cut her off because you dont play games.

Again, that's no excuse. If you use sex as a manipulation, that's your fault, bottom-line. 

Why are you trying to portray women as 'poor little victims' who 'had no option but to use sex as a manipulation'?! It's possible to directly communicate about and resolve issues! 

14 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Critical-critical of what nagging about what usually because you not fucking her right ,or indirectly telling you she dont value your leadership skills because you have no structure.(to the sexist part if somebody believes that then being under a boss is sexist,letting someone navigate a bus boat etc. To get you to certen destination is sexist.

If you don't value someone's leadership-skills, why marry them?! If there are issues that are relatively recent, you have to be solution-oriented and actually do something to resolve them, rather than make it the other person's job to fix it for you. 

16 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Being control freak-because you have nothing under the control.she could smell you are weak because you were potraying a role that you are a man ,then she found out you werent so now shes mad because you dishonest.

Yupp. All women are power-hungry monsters who 'smell weakness' and 'jump on the opportunity'. 

17 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Keep them coming if you want 

So you can deflect more shit onto men?! You have already decided that my list makes no sense, so why should I add more to it?! 

Why do you hate men so much?! 

[NoSelfSelf]

@mr_engineer Im not gonna waste my time with you good luck.

[gambler]

Maybe we feel sorry for the woman because they invoke in us the same emotions as when we look upon a child. Children look innocent because of their soft features. Woman too, have soft features. So we have this bias that they are innocent little angels. And obviously, the elephant in the room is feminist training. It's so ingrained in our society and culture that I don't even know how to step out of the brainwashing and unpack it. Which nevertheless has made us feel like we are bias if we have compassion for men and their problems. 

Thing is, it was probably true when the west was traditional that a lot of men abused their role when it came to their wives. And I guess, we still haven't realized we are no longer in those times, so to approach it with this same preconceived belief is underwhelming to say the least. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@gambler what brainwashing? Why do you think they always say women and children first? 

Man stands alone as his own strenght and support that's why there is no pity needed. Its strenght,we are not looked at because we suppose to be strong ones.

[Schizophonia]

No, it’s just a delirium in your head.