Thought Experiment with a Focus on Honesty

[Keryo Koffa]

Start a company? What about the way I communicate? Oh?! I want to manipulate others into having a good image of me! Well, it would help me reach my goals. Am I now judging myself for being Machiavellian? That seems to come out of nowhere. But everything about me is a façade. I want to see others happy, except those who annoy me, but that's something I have to heal too, since from a higher state of consciousness they are perfectly justified in their behavior even if it isn't healthy for them and the same applies to me. But start a company, that's so complicated! Where, what, how? Oh wait, that's my ego defense mechanism rationalizing, in truth I don't want to. I only focus on it because Leo told me to. I wanna live on Cloud 9, in my imagination, be hedonistic and not care about others. Okay. But why? Because others are judgy, boring, annoying, moralizing, a pain in the ass! I have been too, its unconscious behavior. But you can improve that in them, but is that desire itself selfish? I don't know, who cares. I care, I need to know. I am selfish and that's okay but its not healthy. Response-ability is freeing, it means I have a choice, the way I conduct myself, what I do is in my control, if I don't outsource it to others or my subconscious. I do wanna do something, something I'm passionate about, but now the ego defense mechanism swings the pendulum, I need to become Jesus, live ascetically, give everything away, nail myself on a cross, be a volunteer, go through hardships, blah blah blah. No, you don't! You can have your cake and eat it too! Raise your consciousness and you'll realize you have control over how you feel and your own health. Forgive others and forgive yourself. You see through them, they're transparent and so are you, you see the source of all behavior. It's fine, everything is love. It couldn't be any other way. Now what? Integrate the relative into the absolute. Don't start a company until you're ready, work on yourself instead and it will come naturally, once you let go of everything that holds you back. Once you realize your own self-deceptions everything will become obvious, do it with joy, you're not there yet. Do that then, work on yourself, see through every psychological trick, every cranny, every resistance, be yourself and then the world will unite in your mind and be your playground, you will hold no resentments and do everything to make everything good, out of joy, to solve problems, yours and others and act out of holism. Build yourself up, stop needing to do things, work on yourself and learn to do out of joy and answers will come to you without inner obstruction and resistance and you will not act out of spite and ego but universal love. Don't distract yourself though, actually do it, make yourself happier by deconstructing yourself.