felixk_priv

Has anyone else found finding top ten values tricky ?

12 posts in this topic

I really want to find my actual top ten values and to be sure of them . One could say I value reassurance , but it seems like every other day there are new perspectives on a value where I think I value it ,  and then I come back to it the next day and those perspectives are gone and it doesnt seem like I value it . I will get past this , I will get past this , I will get past this . 

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Posted (edited)

I did the value exercises sober and on LSD. 

LSD helped me to get crystal clear about the top 10. 

Edited by Verg0

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Posted (edited)

Your values will change as you evolve. Don’t be perfectionistic about them.

You will also be certain which ones are permanent, but you won’t be questioning that.

Edited by Yimpa

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@Verg0 @Yimpa well good thing I was offered some the other day then . Thank you both 

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@felixk_priv I have a giant blockade because of the top ten values. I wrote some down and then took a break from the LP course for half a year. When I came back I actually resonated with many of them but I also exchanged some of them. But I am still not very sure about my choices. If you are young you dont necessarily know who you are at least that's the way for me and I experienced that as I grow these values become more clear to you. 

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How do you guys use your top 10 values? 
I try to look at them everyday and try to see what things I can do to align myself more to my top 10 values 

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The value section is the section that took the longest time for me when progressing through the LP course.

I found that I couldn't be perfectionist about it and had to kind of wing it based on feeling with the expectation of further developing these values over time.

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@Basman How did that work out? Did you add any values over time?

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3 hours ago, Jannes said:

@Basman How did that work out? Did you add any values over time?

Its been less than a year since I finished it, so its too early to say just yet but every time I look at my list my values feel right and meaningful. For me, it will most likely be more about developing the meaning of the values I already have on my list rather than add new ones.

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Posted (edited)

@integration journey

On 04/07/2024 at 8:01 PM, integration journey said:

How do you guys use your top 10 values? 
I try to look at them everyday and try to see what things I can do to align myself more to my top 10 value

It should almost be automatic. Think of your top values as an internal guiding compass, not as some form of searchlight. You should feel, deep down, when your values are being compromised. Feelings of anxiety, restlessness, anger or irritation are common when you've been compromising on one of your values. 

I also worked with a life coach years ago who suggested I condense mine to 5 but batch them in sets of 3s because a lot of my values were kinda hinting at similar things. And that works much better for me. 

If you don't feel it is automatic then journaling can help you unravel some of those blockages, maybe you're subconsciously resisting something.  

Because your values should almost be like your second brain, they should be automatically shaping your decisions, impacting what activities give you reward and which make you feel upset. 

Like when you look at something , for example you're in a meeting at work and people are discussing using this new supplier of temporary human resources that is known for cutting labour costs of their employees and while all your colleagues are excited due to cost savings to your company, you're looking at that and thinking  "i don't really like that", that's usually your value systems speaking maybe because one of your values is justice or freedom or equality. 

Or like looking at a meal you've been given at a restaurant and thinking "I don't want to put this in my body" while everyone around you doesn't seem to care would be an indication that Health is a strong value of yours 

Make small observations how interactions and situations in your average day make you feel and make take note in your phone to have something to journal on later. Over time there will be hints on what sort of things seem to give you a boost and what sort of things irritate you - then you can re-form your values accordingly. 

Edited by Michael569

“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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4 hours ago, Michael569 said:

@integration journey

It should almost be automatic. Think of your top values as an internal guiding compass, not as some form of searchlight. You should feel, deep down, when your values are being compromised. Feelings of anxiety, restlessness, anger or irritation are common when you've been compromising on one of your values. 

I also worked with a life coach years ago who suggested I condense mine to 5 but batch them in sets of 3s because a lot of my values were kinda hinting at similar things. And that works much better for me. 

If you don't feel it is automatic then journaling can help you unravel some of those blockages, maybe you're subconsciously resisting something.  

Because your values should almost be like your second brain, they should be automatically shaping your decisions, impacting what activities give you reward and which make you feel upset. 

Like when you look at something , for example you're in a meeting at work and people are discussing using this new supplier of temporary human resources that is known for cutting labour costs of their employees and while all your colleagues are excited due to cost savings to your company, you're looking at that and thinking  "i don't really like that", that's usually your value systems speaking maybe because one of your values is justice or freedom or equality. 

Or like looking at a meal you've been given at a restaurant and thinking "I don't want to put this in my body" while everyone around you doesn't seem to care would be an indication that Health is a strong value of yours 

Make small observations how interactions and situations in your average day make you feel and make take note in your phone to have something to journal on later. Over time there will be hints on what sort of things seem to give you a boost and what sort of things irritate you - then you can re-form your values accordingly. 

Thank you so much! 

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