What Would You Do If... (Extreme Preparation for Bad Trips) + Inquiry + Emotions

[Keryo Koffa]

Be conscious of the neurotic emphasis on need and ego defense mechanisms including distraction, self-judgement and even pride over progress. Find a balance and do not suppress your feelings, you don't need to express them either, feel them. Face the source, transcend and forgive. Notice the evolution and traps of past stages. Purple superstition, Red domination, Blue subjugation, Orange materialism, Green contrarianism.

The endless pursuit of new technologies, academic studies, ideal relationships, hedonistic lifestyles, social dynamics, philosophical utopias, existential angsts, artistic statements, societal endeavors, individual entitlements, religious zealotness, sadism, masochism, pleasure, pain, conditional love, truth seeking, aesthetics, reward and punishment, judginess, strategy, hierarchies of needs, models, comfort, preference, bias, spiritual ego, superiorness, avoidance of suffering, separation, falsehood, lies.

Contextualize psychedelic experiences: Spirits, cues, synchronicities, gods, mystical experiences. The unraveling of the ego through a visual representation of one's subconscious and expansion in awareness. The recognition of one's self-delusion, waking up to the experiential truth of one's motivations, neurotic actions, external projections, deluded exceptions, karma creations, foolish unconscious behavior, suppressed emotions, mental illness, physical illness, bad posture, muscles cramps, headaches, negative emotions, discomfort, lack of love, hiding the truth, suffocating addictions, distorted perception, "irrational" fears.

Symmetry, yoga, non-duality, unity, merging, expansion, inclusion, prayer, meditation, love, truth, infinity. Dissolution of limitation, the ego's release of its distorted idea of self-control. The raw naked sensation of the vastness of existence in its unconditional manifestation. Freedom, samadhi, god.

Stories, likes, motivations, ego defense mechanisms. Is this one? Maybe.

When reality starts unraveling and you realize the magnitude of your own creation, how will you react?

When you realize the source of personality and the self-protected creation of others, how will you react?

When psychedelics transform your environment into living breathing entities, how will you react?

When the barrier between real and hallucination breaks down, how will you reconcile that?

When you're trapped in a time loop with amnesia, unaware its your own doing to process a lesson, face those fears and let go of all ideas of self, other, past and future, forgetting all context, how will you manage that?

When you fall asleep and wake up hung over, in anhedonia, pain and shame, how will you manage that?

When all energy leaves your body and you collapse, feeling guilt for being alive, how will you bear it?

When every surface turns into a mirror and you turn transparent, facing an eternal void, how will you face it?

When the rate of change increases exponentially and not only your perception starts distorting, but your own sense of self, of the perceiver being aware and interpreting it matches morphs away at the same pace, losing self-awareness and memory of context, then what?

When time starts lagging, deja vu increasing, and the usual ear tingling distorts to sound like a jagged roaring chainsaw and then that reflects in how you feel and see reality vibrating covered in white noise, how will you handle that?

When you look at a pine tree and remember the sensation you felt as a child, when it felt deeply mysterious and alien, uncertain and uneasy, dangerous and alluring, how will you integrate it?

When you remember the first time you became self-aware or saw your own reflection, how will integrate it?

When you go back in time to when you were a toddler in the midst of experiencing perception warp into objects and distinctions capable of being focused on for the first time, how will you integrate it?

When your environment and all its surfaces turn a sea of liquid mercury waving in ripples, what will you do?

When you remember your child self, how unhinged and free you were, how mysterious reality felt, how long the days were and how much detail there was, how in tune and aligned your feelings were with your body, how will that experience feel?

When you tune into the eternal now, all that is, center of ripples, when everything around collapses and particle waves turn into an ocean of probabilities, and all lights dim out, then what?

Don't you want to let go, surrender? Is it going too fast? Do you want to reconcile your drama before you release it? Is it uncomfortable to see through each question and motivation you come up with? Do you need excuses not to dissolve? Do you want to turn back, resist? Are you clinging onto your humanity, your creaturehood, your existence, difference, uniqueness, separateness, individuality, perception, limitation, sensation, story? Are you missing your life purpose, that distraction that makes you feel amazing about yourself?

Would you prefer to meet some aliens, go scuba-diving, talk to the trees, create shadow clones, astro project, reimagine your reality, jump through a portal, visit machine elves, go to the garden of eden, become a cat, jump off a plane where there's no ground, meet a philosopher, traverse history, see the future, beam up onto the enterprise, use the force, dodge bullets, meet dead relatives or skip forward to technological singularity? Are you aware you can do all that and more and not god but your own ego is the only thing preventing you from doing so? Do you feel resentment towards it now? Oh wait, that's more ego. All you can do is forgive. Are you dissatisfied? Are you aware any of these desires itself is ego? Are you aware that beauty is ego? Are you aware god doesn't care about continuity, only you do?

Are you aware that there's a part of you beyond all that funny business, one who takes care of reality on such a deep level it couldn't care less about those little things and that you are unaware of that part of you that keeps you grounded, the part so well hidden in your unconscious, that maintains your existence and prevents actual hell from manifesting, that lets you delude yourself into massive suffering but prevents it from being absolute? The part that upkeeps your sense of self, shapes your every experience, feeds you desires and experiences through your "unconscious"? The part you can thank for not becoming part of "I have no mouth and I must scream", from not having "The Thing" enter your reality. The part that designed each atom, molecule, cell, body, lifeform, psychological structure, psychic entity, in whose mind you're living rent free? The part beyond all absolutes responsible for all of them. The one shuffling you between different states of consciousness from relative to absolute, without you knowing how you do it as you merely navigate by intent unaware of what makes the navigation and experience itself so consistent and possible to begin with? The part that is not merely conscious of all of existence, but its most intricate mechanics in full scope of infinite density, that has every possible problem and solution worked out to begin with. The part that is so intelligent that there's no room for "it" to be intelligent, that contains unconditional love equally within itself having not even it be a trait its biased towards over non-existence and non-love and non-intelligence. Where Love, Intelligence, Truth, Existence simultaneously become all inclusive with their non-existent counterparts. Did you experience that, are you even aware of it or merely aware of it?

More stories, more pointers, more questions, more wonders, makes you question to what degree you want to know over just being content living, but I'm you're not content suffering. But wouldn't you trap yourself in a bubble if you weren't suffering? Would it limit you if you were able to construct your reality and spent all time exploring your specific fantasies? To what degree are you addicted to suffering? If you were absolutely content in the present, would you go exploring? If you were God, Infinity would be your nature, everything in every superposition existing simultaneously as you, nothing to miss out on. But as a human, or story, or entity, you seek freedom and exploration but above that experience itself. And experience as you understand it predisposes time and change, transience. Time, if only in order to describe the change of one's state of consciousness, as we experience and grow in awareness and context, retroactively describing our own evolution, an ever morphing spatial ripple disguised as time. The act of observation itself creating the sensation of time.

When you get addicted to your own experiential philosophical inquiry, materializing and sharing it through language. All context, ideas, stories, pointers. Getting caught up in bliss while pursuing understanding the nature of this. But its not enough, question it deeper and deeper, understanding predisposes duality. But there's more to break out of it. Words associate feelings and experiences but are not them. We can only wonder to what depth Leo became aware of God. There's always more, infinite depth of detail to any experience since all limits are self-imposed. There's nothing and infinity and all in-between containing and reflecting both.

Now all there is afraid of is fear itself. But actually, not even that is a problem, avoidance is, fear is merely a sensation, a pointer, a reaction, instinct, behavior. Avoidance seems to be the core issue, so let's face that too, face the core of any discomfort to dissolve it, to release the resistance. Face the core of love to dissolve that? Maybe, since it means its not unconditional? But does the conditional remain as the inclusive part of the unconditional? What about unconditional fear? What about fear for the sake of fear? Raw sensation without suffering? Is exploring fear constrictive or expansive or a distraction from realizing its source? Either way, face what emotion points to and include it in yourself.

I guess that's the problem, remaining in ignorance, but what about ignorance for its own sake, won't magic tricks lose their magic? What if ignorance can be included and explored for its own sake, what if ignorance is itself a sensation, something that obscures reality with that being its role, since reality by god is known beforehand, explaining the possibility of current experience. What if ignorance is an additive sensation and state of mind instead of a lack? Just Let go of ignorance, in order to see? That's so funny, way too simple! Hey, just let go of ignorance, its that easy lol. Like you're actively keeping up a mist around yourself to obscure your vision and focus you into your current experience but that's exactly it, that's how god does it. How the hell did I stumble on that? If I let go of ignorance or the need to know right now, I will literally remove all my suffering? I create a belief where I allow myself to let go on psychedelics and not otherwise and its my own doing, this is intense.

[bambi]

This post is almost impossible to intepret, is it just your personal ramblings to yourself posted on a public forum?

[Keryo Koffa]

@bambi Why does it have to be personal, interpret it as an inner voice and pointer to experience to come. If you're past it and it seems foolish, you can respond to it with your own experience and show my limitations. Else you can use it for contemplation. It's a dense condensation of my insights, questions to face, limitations to overcome, and ideas to navigate. My syntax is more direct, navigate from one experience to the next and intuitively figure out what connects them and why they are arranged in the order they are. I don't feel the need to turn everything into its own sentence but point at ideas and experiences successively to use as a means of navigation and morphing insight one leading to the next. You can call that cryptic, but you can also embrace it as a challenge and puzzle to make you think and understand through your own wonder. I am entering a level of abstraction where ideas intuitively relate and click without needing dense explanations of their interconnections. For example "dog, cat, bird" refers to animals, "lack, resentment, disfunction" refers to neurosis, it doesn't mention it but it highlights its most important aspects while keeping itself implicitly, to be intuitively realized and in the act thereof more deeply understood by the reader, since that understanding stems from the readers own use of cognitive faculties.

Edited July 4 by Keryo Koffa

[bambi]

Your response is equally impossible to parse or interpret. Im sorry, Im not trying to be obtuse, I find your writing very convulated, obfuscated without clear grammatical structuring

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, bambi said:

Your response is equally impossible to parse or interpret. Im sorry, Im not trying to be obtuse, I find your writing very convulated, obfuscated without clear grammatical structuring

I find a lack of a period at the end

[Keryo Koffa]

@bambi We are on different frequencies then, like different languages, I am exploring the nature of language itself right now and am expressing it in my writing, that's why it might seem confusing. Pardon my conceptual abstractness. Try to navigate it playfully and reflect what you think I am saying. Let's have a discourse.

[Yimpa]

Period.

[Keryo Koffa]

@Yimpa I LOVE YOU

You're a whole 'nother level of Zen Master

Edited July 4 by Keryo Koffa

[bambi]

30 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

@bambi We are on different frequencies then, like different languages, I am exploring the nature of language itself right now and am expressing it in my writing, that's why it might seem confusing. Pardon my conceptual abstractness. Try to navigate it playfully and reflect what you think I am saying. Let's have a discourse.

Yes no doubt about that, your on your own frequency, Id like to be able to tune in too.

Your original post isnt clear the structure or aim. It seemed like your personal rambligns, directed to yourself. It isn't clear what you want from others, how are we suppose to respond or engage. 

Are you just wanting us to acknowledge the ramblings or give you some accolodaes or feedback?

[Keryo Koffa]

@bambi Beware of your own projections and how you try to speak for everyone, nagging and anger are ego. It's clear for those who do get it and a playground for those who don't.

23 minutes ago, bambi said:

Are you just wanting us to acknowledge the ramblings or give you some accolodaes or feedback?

Why are you so passive-aggressive? What part of you have I triggered? Let's heal that!

And now by being passive-aggressive you made me passive-aggressive, which is something I'm responsible for. I forgive myself and you. We all have our problems we're projecting outwards. Anger is one hell of a drug. Let's solve our problems.

Edited July 4 by Keryo Koffa

[bambi]

Im just trying to orientate myself to your post, I am communicating to you that I dont know how to do that, and I am seeking clarificaiton from you, but you dont seem willing to provide

[Keryo Koffa]

Just now, bambi said:

you dont seem willing to provide

I am but we're talking past each other, can you focus on a specific part of my post? A sentence, or paragraph or word. Then I can clarify

[bambi]

1 minute ago, Keryo Koffa said:

I am but we're talking past each other, can you focus on a specific part of my post? A sentence, or paragraph or word. Then I can clarify

Yes exactly. We are going in circles as you are refusing to address my concerns. Your post reads as personal musing and ramblings, what is it your expecting from others in this? Are you wanting a critique? OR to read in silence? LOL

[Keryo Koffa]

46 minutes ago, bambi said:

Yes exactly. We are going in circles as you are refusing to address my concerns. Your post reads as personal musing and ramblings, what is it your expecting from others in this? Are you wanting a critique? OR to read in silence? LOL

You're vague and aggressive. You call my post a "rambling" without mentioning a single thing that makes it so. 

I am giving questions for others to face and contemplate just as I am inquiring through other's posts. I'm inviting discourse of any and all paragraphs, the inquiry into ego defense mechanisms, fears and experiences one can face on bad trips. Inquiry into epistemological topics and the nature of emotions in relation to one's experience.

To lay it out for you:

Paragraph 1 discusses the theme of noticing and inquiring into ego defense mechanisms

Paragraph 2 gives a broad holistic overview of activities one can get trapped in

Paragraph 3 addresses how psychedelics manifest one's psychology visually to work on

Paragraph 4 lists ways and effects of dissolving one's identity/ego

The follow up questions are profound and terrifying situations to prepare for when tripping

5 is the inner voice questioning your resistance

6 is about opening Pandora's box of possibilities

7 inquires into the nature of the intelligence beyond your awareness

8 talks about fearing self-imposed limitations

9 is about trapping yourself in insight itself

10 is about the nature of fear and avoidance

11 is about the nature of ignorance

If you lack the ability to understand, that's on you, don't think others are as short-sighted as you

[bambi]

3 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

You're vague and aggressive. You call my post a "rambling" without mentioning a single thing that makes it so. 

I am giving questions for others to face and contemplate just as I am inquiring through other's posts. I'm inviting discourse of any and all paragraphs, the inquiry into ego defense mechanisms, fears and experiences one can face on bad trips. Inquiry into epistemological topics and the nature of emotions in relation to one's experience.

To lay it out for you:

Paragraph 1 discusses the theme of noticing and inquiring into ego defense mechanisms

Paragraph 2 gives a broad holistic overview of activities one can get trapped in

Paragraph 3 addresses how psychedelics manifest one's psychology visually to work on

Paragraph 4 lists ways and effects of dissolving one's identity/ego

The follow up questions are profound and terrifying situations to prepare for when tripping

5 is the inner voice questioning your resistance

6 is about opening Pandora's box of possibilities

7 inquires into the nature of the intelligence beyond your awareness

8 talks about fearing self-imposed limitations

9 is about trapping yourself in insight itself

10 is about the nature of fear and avoidance

11 is about the nature of ignorance

If you lack the ability to understand, that's on you, don't think others are as short-sighted as you

if you think your convoluted, self-indulgent ramblings pass for profound insight, you’re sorely mistaken. You’ve laid out your breakdown as if it suddenly adds clarity to the nonsensical mess you originally posted. Here’s a reality check for you:

If you truly want to engage in discourse, drop the pretense and write in a way that others can actually understand. Your current approach isn’t profound; it’s pretentious and alienating.

your writing doesn’t dissolve ego; it reinforces your own. you’re not inviting anyone into a conversation; you’re monologuing to an audience you believe is beneath you.

[Keryo Koffa]

1 hour ago, bambi said:

if you think your convoluted, self-indulgent ramblings pass for profound insight, you’re sorely mistaken. You’ve laid out your breakdown as if it suddenly adds clarity to the nonsensical mess you originally posted. Here’s a reality check for you:

If you truly want to engage in discourse, drop the pretense and write in a way that others can actually understand. Your current approach isn’t profound; it’s pretentious and alienating.

your writing doesn’t dissolve ego; it reinforces your own. you’re not inviting anyone into a conversation; you’re monologuing to an audience you believe is beneath you.

@bambi My post isn't the problem, you're the problem, no one else but you specifically. Your monotonous rambling is its own paradigm lock. Your ignorance and ego that you express in the pretense of speaking for others is pathetic and all statements you made are themselves alienating, you're basically a troll spouting ad-hominems and wasting your time rambling on something you're too limited to understand and that hurts your ego so you lash and and waste everyone's time when you could simply move on and stop being so pathetically bitter. There's not a single confusing thing about my post, you're just a fool. The only thing you're good for is to create outrage within me over your stupidity, which actually I have to thank you for, since it teaches me a lesson on how to deal with and dismiss people like you, who have nothing better to do than acting like idiots. And becoming aware of the source of this emotion with your control over it within myself, I let go of the need to feed the troll that you are any further. Your paradigm lock makes you stuck from accepting any and all evidence to the contrary and talking and proving you wrong is a waste of time. At some point, you will realize how stupid you were and how much of everyone's time including yourself you were wasting instead of getting your shit together, dealing with the core of your insecurities and outgrowing them, becoming a healthier human being in the process. Now get lost, it's my post and you're too ignorant to understand it, go play somewhere else until you annoy them enough for the mods to finally kick you out.

 

Edited July 4 by Keryo Koffa

[maxpechura]

TLDR. Attaching the audio version you can listen to.

Keryo-Koffa-What-Would-You-Do-If.mp3

[Yimpa]

@maxpechura i wonder how many hours it would be if that voice read the entire forum?!