my horrible situation that is almost too outlandish to write about

[Sugarcoat]

—

 

Edited July 3 by Sugarcoat

[Raze]

get ifs therapy 

[Sugarcoat]

7 minutes ago, Raze said:

get ifs therapy 

Thanks for your suggestion. I will continue with my doctors and we will see what we do, because why not I won’t loose anything. Unfortunately this is due to the self centeredness of my brain that I was born with and not mental illness 

[integral]

I know what you’re going through, because I have a similar problem but nowhere near as extreme as your case. I also use exercise to reset the system and reconnect externally.

i’ve been doing this for years and cannot rebuild or create a permanent connection.

You need to somehow remain mindful 24/7 and catch yourself when you start falling asleep/disconnecting. The problem is when you’re concentrating on a task it’s very easy to disconnect.

Are you able to be aware and feel your entire body all at the same time and keep that state?

have you tried experimenting with different substances to see if one of them helps you reconnect? I found chocolate or Coffee wakes the brain up and makes it a lot easier to stay connected for a longer period of time. LSD and mushrooms I found also create reconnection automatically without exercise but it comes at a price of fatigue

it’s possible also that your brain is not producing enough dopamine, you might want to experiment with dopamine antagonist. Like l-dopa

Edited July 2 by integral

[integral]

Your case reminds me of this

[Schizophonia]

It will be fine soon, i promise.

[Schizophonia]

45 minutes ago, integral said:

I know what you’re going through, because I have a similar problem but nowhere near as extreme as your case. I also use exercise to reset the system and reconnect externally.

i’ve been doing this for years and cannot rebuild or create a permanent connection.

You need to somehow remain mindful 24/7 and catch yourself when you start falling asleep/disconnecting. The problem is when you’re concentrating on a task it’s very easy to disconnect.

Are you able to be aware and feel your entire body all at the same time and keep that state?

have you tried experimenting with different substances to see if one of them helps you reconnect? I found chocolate or Coffee wakes the brain up and makes it a lot easier to stay connected for a longer period of time. LSD and mushrooms I found also create reconnection automatically without exercise but it comes at a price of fatigue

it’s possible also that your brain is not producing enough dopamine, you might want to experiment with dopamine antagonist. Like l-dopa

You're right on the dopamine part, but in fine supplements/drugs are a big trap.

We have to find the key.

[integral]

8 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

You're right on the dopamine part, but in fine supplements/drugs are a big trap.

We have to find the key.

I would use the drug or supplement just determine what the problem is, self testing. A drugs usefulness long-term is near zero

Edited July 2 by integral

[Sugarcoat]

9 hours ago, integral said:

I know what you’re going through, because I have a similar problem but nowhere near as extreme as your case. I also use exercise to reset the system and reconnect externally.

i’ve been doing this for years and cannot rebuild or create a permanent connection.

You need to somehow remain mindful 24/7 and catch yourself when you start falling asleep/disconnecting. The problem is when you’re concentrating on a task it’s very easy to disconnect.

Are you able to be aware and feel your entire body all at the same time and keep that state?

have you tried experimenting with different substances to see if one of them helps you reconnect? I found chocolate or Coffee wakes the brain up and makes it a lot easier to stay connected for a longer period of time. LSD and mushrooms I found also create reconnection automatically without exercise but it comes at a price of fatigue

it’s possible also that your brain is not producing enough dopamine, you might want to experiment with dopamine antagonist. Like l-dopa

I don’t know what you mean by reconnect externally. What I mean is that the exercise builds connectedness inside the brain and makes me more connected to myself for a while. 
 

I notice always when I start to disconnect but I don’t feel there is anything I can do about it because it happens in the brain. 
 

I can’t experiment with different drugs due to living at my parents house. I do eat chocolate and coffe but it doesn’t make a difference. 
 

I do feel the disconnection affects the flow of dopamine that’s my theory so when I’m not as connected to myself the flow of dopamine is not optimal. 
 

thanks for your reply anyways . No one really understands what I wrote which is okay. 
 

 

[Sugarcoat]

9 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

It will be fine soon, i promise.

The self centeredness of my brain that is driving this ain’t changing . I’m saying the forced exercising is built into my brains design from birth 

[Schizophonia]

18 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

The self centeredness of my brain that is driving this ain’t changing . I’m saying the forced exercising is built into my brains design from birth 

I know.

But i trust what I’ve said.

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Schizophonia said:

I know.

But i trust what I’ve said.

Ok👍🏻

[Sugarcoat]

@Schizophonia I don’t know why I wrote it. Felt a little awkward about it wanted to delete. Was it comprehensible tho? 

[Schizophonia]

56 minutes ago, integral said:

I would use the drug or supplement just determine what the problem is, self testing. A drugs usefulness long-term is near zero

I would intuitively say low dopamine too.

 

2 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Ok👍🏻

Up to 3/4 sleepless nights per week for more than a year, I am winning the victimhood fight. 😎

Now let’s find the key.

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Schizophonia said:

Which one ? 

My original post 

[Schizophonia]

4 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

My original post 

It’s not awkward, just twisted and a bit hard to understand, ah usual ahah.

The most hard thing is your structure, maybe you could give more details, examples, metaphors etc to show for example what you mean by ideal self.

Edited July 2 by Schizophonia

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Schizophonia said:

It’s not awkward, just twisted and a bit hard to understand.

The most hard thing is your structure, maybe you could give more details, examples, metaphors etc to show for example what you mean by ideal self.

Thanks for the feedback 

[Salvijus]

18 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

I dont have a normal brain, I have a self centered brain. "but everyone is self centered" yes to a DEGREE. What im describing is having a TOTALLY self centered brain.

Do some volunteering then. Where you have to care for others. 

Edited July 2 by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

18 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

What I mean by this is that all my attention is concentrated inwardly on the self. It's like a brain with all its attention inwardly onto itself. 24/7 all my life.

What happens when there is constant attention on the self? you start to dissolve. That's what happened to me. I gradually dissolved. And in November 2023, I ended up almost headless.

The world around me looked almost 2d flat. All that was left of me was a tiny speck of solidity. I was like 99% dissolved.

Monks who meditate their whole life 24/7 are not able to achieve full ego dissolution most of the time. I doubt you actually dissolved. Your interpretation of the problem could be (and likely is imo) off. Maybe it instead of ego dissolution it was some personality disorder. Dissociation disorder. Trauma or smth, idk. But ego dissolution does not sound like a plausible answer in my view. Unless you're the next Ramana Maharshi or smth.

Edited July 2 by Salvijus

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Salvijus said:

Monks who meditate their whole life 24/7 are not able to achieve full ego dissolution most of the time. I doubt you actually dissolved. Your interpretation of the problem could be (and likely is imo) off. Maybe it instead of ego dissolution it was some personality disorder. Dissociation disorder. Trauma or smth, idk. But ego dissolution does not sound like a plausible answer in my view. 

i didn't mean full dissolution, I meant almost full, and between those is an infinite difference