Can You Change Your Personality?

[ViolinsSing]

I was wondering about something lately. In the context of self-improvement and self-growth, is it possible to change personality? When reading literature on how to grow as a person, or watching Leo's videos, it would seem so. Nevertheless, psychology mainstream stance is that overall, a person cannot change personality at a certain age (starting around 20). I don't mean just minor things, such as thinking more positively, being more aware etc. I mean great changes, such as neediness (feeling complete in relationships), having psychological handicaps such as ADD or borderline etc. Any thoughts or research on this topic?

[jse]

Forced, sudden or big changes in personality only lead to problems.
Your personality will change gradually and naturally as you grow - see it as the "surface" of your deeper inner self.

[Prabhaker]

40 minutes ago, ViolinsSing said:

being more aware etc. I mean great changes

First you have to understand that your personality is not your reality; it is given by the culture, by the society.

Individuality is yours, but personality is not yours.

As personality you are always dead; only as individuality are you alive. But to be an individual you have to rebel against personality and against all those people who are forcing a certain personality on you.

Each child is born with a certain potential to be – and each society tries to make him something else.

The greatest adventure that can happen to a human being is the movement from mind to no-mind, the movement from personality to individuality. The no-mind has an individuality: the mind is social.

All your personalities are absolute cover-ups, hiding your individuality.

Try to find your individuality, your integrity, and make the effort of not compromising. Because the more you compromise, the less you are an individual. You are only a cog in the wheel, just a part in the vast mechanism, just a small part of the mob -- not an individual in your own beauty, in your own right.

The disappearance of your person is not your disappearance, remember; on the contrary, it is your appearance. As your person disappears, your personality falls away; your individuality, your individual arises. To have a personality is hypocrisy. To be an individual is your birthright.

To be an individual is the hardest thing in the world, because nobody likes you to be an individual. Everybody wants to kill your individuality and to make a sheep out of you. Nobody wants you to be on your own.

The first step is: accept yourself as you are; drop all shoulds. Don't carry any ought on your heart! You are not to be somebody else; you are not expected to do something which doesn't belong to you -- you are just to be yourself. Relax! and just be yourself. Be respectful to your individuality. and have the courage to sign your own signature. Don't go on copying others signatures.

Don't bother whether you become a world-famous artist or not; that is not the significant thing. But create something -- a beautiful song, a little music, a dance, a painting, a garden. 

Unless a person decides that "Whatever the cost, I want just to be myself. Condemned, unaccepted, losing respectability -- everything is okay but I cannot pretend anymore to be somebody else"... This decision and this declaration -- this declaration of freedom, freedom from the weight of the crowd -- gives birth to your natural being, to your individuality. Then you don't need any mask. Then you can be simply yourself, just as you are. And the moment you can be just as you are, there is tremendous peace that passeth understanding.

It happens in poetry, in music, in dance, only for a small moment that you slip out of your personality and touch your individuality. But only because it happens for a small moment, you are not afraid; you always come back.

In meditation, once you are gone in, you are gone in. Then, even when you resurrect you are a totally different person. The old personality is nowhere to be found. You have to start your life again from ABC. You have to learn everything with fresh eyes, with a totally new heart. That's why meditation creates fear. 

[Loreena]

I don't think its possible to completely change it

[Prabhaker]

2 hours ago, Loreena said:

I don't think its possible to completely change it

The horror of Meth: Before-and-after

[Loreena]

@Prabhaker That's just change of face.

[Prabhaker]

Just now, Loreena said:

That's just change of face.

Face changes when your being changes.

 

[Loreena]

@Prabhaker How should one change one's personality ?

[Guest Annetta]

@Prabhaker My ex is a crack head, he's 30 and looks 40 it's really sad..

[Prabhaker]

10 minutes ago, Loreena said:

How should one change one's personality ?

Learn Osho dynamic meditation.

[Prabhaker]

11 minutes ago, Annetta said:

My ex is a crack head, he's 30 and looks 40 it's really sad..

Then certainly he is not a happy person.

[Loreena]

Forced sudden personality change !!              

Hey, this is  L _ _  for Act_ _ _ _ _ed.o_g !!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

[Guest Annetta]

@Loreena wonder where he has been?  Might be the first Sunday he doesn't post a vid.

[Toby]

Sorry @Prabhaker you post a lot of good stuff but here you are obviously wrong. Just because someone changes their appearance or state of mind doesn't mean their basic personality changes. Look at all the sages, they all have different personalities and character traits - even if they don't identify with them.

[Prabhaker]

1 minute ago, Toby said:

Just because someone changes their appearance or state of mind doesn't mean their basic personality changes.

Why do you think personality doesn't changes with change in face and physique ? (I don't mentioned appearance or state of mind)

[Prabhaker]

7 minutes ago, Toby said:

Look at all the sages, they all have different personalities and character traits - even if they don't identify with them.

They have different individuality , you are born with a unique individuality (true personality).

[Toby]

Because personality/character is beyond the body? I worked with children who were quite young actually. They are all different. And they are totally being themselves at times and they have still different characteristics.

[Prabhaker]

 

Just now, Toby said:

Because personality/character is beyond the body? I worked with children who were quite young actually. They are all different. And they are totally being themselves at times and they have still different characteristics.

Personality is imposed on you from the outside; it is a mask. Individuality is your very being.Individuality is that which you bring into the world. Individuality is your essence. You come with it, you are born with it. Personality is borrowed. 

[Toby]

Also, I studied the Enneagram to some degree. It tells you that superficial personality traits can be changed but the underlying character cannot. What can be changed is the fixation or identification with it. But for example Eckhart Tolle is still an introvert. It is just something that is part of his way of being as a person.

[Prabhaker]

Eckhart tolle is introvert, Jesus or Mohammad are extrovert. But they have no personality, they have individuality , their true self, they were born with it. It is not a mask given by society.

Meditation drops personality, brings individuality.