Women looove a nice guy

[NoSelfSelf]

12 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

People assume that Timothee is an INFP, and I can see it. He has the same natural down-to-earth charm as Johnny Depp, who is also considered an INFP.

This is interesting because people assume that INFP men are not attractive to women or that introverted men in general are not attractive to women, which is completely false.

They call those men beta and simps because of their kind and friendly attitude towards women.

In reality, those "beta" men are highly attractive and successful with women because they are approachable, safe, and charming.

Interestingly enough, they will never brag about their success with women or complain about lack of it, which adds to their allure.

I believe that toxic, psychopathic, and narcissistic men, who hold power in society, lie to men about what women are attracted to in order to maintain their power over other men and women.

They shame genuinely kind men and call them simps or beta because they know that after dating such "beta" men, women will no longer tolerate their toxic behavior.

"Beta" men force the toxic men who present toxic masculine traits to work harder to have women. 

That's exactly in different words what i was looking to say about this.Being nice is taken for being soft but actually they are not soft,its strenght that is expressed nicely if that makes sense.Yeah you dont need to be loud agressive to be magnetic, its the more i contemplated i saw this and wanted to share since there is more extrovarted approach.Bragging about the women success is screaming insecurity i hate to see that.

 

[Twentyfirst]

59 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

That's exactly in different words what i was looking to say about this.Being nice is taken for being soft but actually they are not soft,its strenght that is expressed nicely if that makes sense.Yeah you dont need to be loud agressive to be magnetic, its the more i contemplated i saw this and wanted to share since there is more extrovarted approach.Bragging about the women success is screaming insecurity i hate to see that.

 

Don't listen to her. I highly highly doubt she practices what she preaches. We all know she friend zones the nice guys and instantly drops her panties and does whatever the alpha tells her to do 

[Spiritual Warrior]

@NoSelfSelf I like the post and I agree. You're describing not a nice guy, but a chivalrous man.

This kind of man will win out in the end.

Edited July 2 by Spiritual Warrior

[Schizophonia]

2 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

@NoSelfSelf I like the post and I agree. You're describing not a nice guy, but a chivalrous man.

This kind of man will win out in the end.

He has described Schizophonia 

15 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

Don't listen to her. I highly highly doubt she practices what she preaches. We all know she friend zones the nice guys and instantly drops her panties and does whatever the alpha tells her to do 

Eat your warning point.

[NoSelfSelf]

36 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

Don't listen to her. I highly highly doubt she practices what she preaches. We all know she friend zones the nice guys and instantly drops her panties and does whatever the alpha tells her to do 

There is much more to this that is spoken here,shes free to express what she wants without immidiet criticism.Alfas dont control women with absolutes  if  you are nice doesnt mean you automatically are weak aka beta.Your comment is exactly why this thread is made there is different approaches.You can be charming and tell her things elegantly or you can be agressive dominating its different ways of doing things.

25 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

@NoSelfSelf I like the post and I agree. You're describing not a nice guy, but a chivalrous man.

This kind of man will win out in the end.

Yeah behind chilvarious man is many many layers that make that nices really attractive its more to it than just be at service

19 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

He has described Schizophonia 

Eat your warning point.

Sent link of that video so we can experience it.

Edited July 2 by NoSelfSelf

[Schizophonia]

5 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

 

Sent link of that video so we can experience it.

 

I will record it this week end.It will be fun

[Princess Arabia]

What this thread is missing is that we fail to understand that it's not so much what persona the guy has. Whether he's nice, charming, narcissistic, kind, charismatic, asshole...insert whichever word you choose is not as relevant, but how it's received. How is this character perceived. We all have different traits and personality types, but not everybody is for everybody. 

Doesn't matter if the nice guy has "bad" traits and if the "bad" guy has good traits, who is on the receiving end of that is what counts. Talking all about the guy and what is a nice balance and all you're saying is great, and I do see your point; but there is such a wide variety of women on the receiving end and women are not just looking for a specific personality type, they like to be protected and provided for and feel loved and cherished by their partner. 

Nobody really knows what a person is like before interaction. All this nice guy/bad boy stuff and a balance between the two can fly out the window with women if you have just one great quality about you that she just can't resist or is so overwhelmed by. That could be the way you treat her kids, could be the way you talk to her mother, could be the way you smell, could be the extra way you care for her.....whatever it is. Women will work with any time of man if she can detect one thing that she just cannot resist and is extremely "floored" by. This is why we are surprised sometimes by certain "women's pick" and can't understand how he "got her". It's that one thing that's she rarely sees in any other man and how it makes her feel whether it's a good or bad trait, doesn't matter. They probably like the bad boys because they feel they're the ones to protect but want the nice guy because he's the one to provide and want the criminal because he's the one they can reform.

Edited July 2 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

 

I will record it this week end.It will be fun

Put your channel link in your signature.

[Lila9]

3 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

That's exactly in different words what i was looking to say about this.Being nice is taken for being soft but actually they are not soft,its strenght that is expressed nicely if that makes sense.Yeah you dont need to be loud agressive to be magnetic, its the more i contemplated i saw this and wanted to share since there is more extrovarted approach.Bragging about the women success is screaming insecurity i hate to see that.

 

100%. Confident people can afford kindness. Insecure people are too fearful to afford it, they are always on guard. 

[Lila9]

2 hours ago, Twentyfirst said:

Don't listen to her. I highly highly doubt she practices what she preaches. We all know she friend zones the nice guys and instantly drops her panties and does whatever the alpha tells her to do 

There are men who fall for bitchy, narcissistic, abusive women who use their sexuality to manipulate them.

I have seen this a few times: those men having the sweetest girlfriends or the most feminine and kind women showing interest in them. But they treat them poorly and chase the most toxic women they can find.

I could, like you, create some sort of ideology out of it and say that all men love bad women, toxic women, who treat them like shit. I could aspire to become such a woman myself, hurt men and create more negative karma in the world.

But luckily, I prefer myself as I am and I don't have the victim mentality. I see the world in a nuanced way because I have real-life experience outside the internet.

There are men who are immune to toxic women, there are men who cannot be captured by bitchy women, regardless of the sexual manipulation and love bombing, because they are in tune with their instincts, they are good at reading people, and psychologically healthy.

I don't know how many hours you spend on incel forums (do they still exist?), brainwashing yourself with the red, blue, purple, yellow, lavender, white, peach-orange, or cherry-pink pill ideologies, but most women are repelled by the alpha bros who present toxic masculinity, if someone said to you otherwise they have lied to you to sell to you and to control you.

[Raze]

4 hours ago, Lila9 said:

This is interesting because people assume that INFP men are not attractive to women or that introverted men in general are not attractive to women, which is completely false.

They call those men beta and simps because of their kind and friendly attitude towards women.

In reality, those "beta" men are highly attractive and successful with women because they are approachable, safe, and charming.

Interestingly enough, they will never brag about their success with women or complain about lack of it, which adds to their allure.

I believe that toxic, psychopathic, and narcissistic men, who hold power in society, lie to men about what women are attracted to in order to maintain their power over other men and women.

They shame genuinely kind men and call them simps or beta because they know that after dating such "beta" men, women will no longer tolerate their toxic behavior.

"Beta" men force the toxic men who present toxic masculine traits to work harder to have women. 

This makes no sense

-all data we have shows extroverted men are much more successful with women then introverted men. 

-how are men in power in society lying about what women are attracted to in this way? In the mainstream the message is usually that women are attracted to looks and signals of wealth (fashion, car, watch ads), or that women are attracted to special connections and huge shows of romance (romance films). Where are the powerful men sending the message women like toxicity?, and even if they are, how does that help them retain power?
 

The people saying women don’t like beta males is a underground message.

Edited July 2 by Raze

[NoSelfSelf]

@Schizophonia Im intrigued

@Lila9 💯

@Princess Arabia  I see, my job is not being concerned about how things are going to be percieved by others,that's the manipulation of myself and the other person at play.My job is  to present myself the best way i can and give other person free will to choose without me modifying myself for that person.But to find the balance of how im going to play my strenghts,so the women who love what i offer can benefit from it.Imagine if i have really well crafted dark houmor but many women dont like it so i wont express it,but that one women really loves it thats my aim.Me being me and other person loving me for being me its bottom line of the dating game.

Edited July 2 by NoSelfSelf

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Schizophonia Im intrigued

@Lila9 💯

@Princess Arabia  I see, my job is not being concerned about how things are going to be percieved by others,that's the manipulation of myself and the other person at play.My job is  to present myself the best way i can and give other person free will to choose without me modifying myself for that person.But to find the balance of how im going to play my strenghts,so the women who loves what i offer can benefit from it.Imagine if i have really well crafted dark houmor but many women dont like it so i wont express it,but that one women really loves it thats my aim.Me being me and other person loving me for being me its bottom line of the game.

Well said. That's your strategy and you're sticking to it. In the end, it's whatever works.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Princess Arabia Yeah best strategy to grow yourself the best i can so one can be the best version of myself.If this mindset shift doesnt happen guy always needs to fit in the womens narrative.Thats extremely tough to do meanwhile she cant really see for who you really are.

Edited July 2 by NoSelfSelf

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Lila9 said:

100%. Confident people can afford kindness. Insecure people are too fearful to afford it, they are always on guard. 

On point. 

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Princess Arabia Yeah best strategy to grow yourself the best i can so one can be the best version of himself.If this mindset shift doesnt happen guy always needs to fit in the womens narrative.Thats extremely tough to do meanwhile she cant really see for who you really are.

To me, the best way is for both to be independently who they are without needing to change the fundamentals for the other person and then try to merge the similarities and accept the differences as long as the overall relationship is a match and both are happy with each other.

E.g. I'm me and you're you. I like you and you like me. We both enjoy certain things similar and we do a lot of those together. Somethings you like and I don't, and vice versa. No problem. You do you, I do me while still having fun together and still enjoying our relationship when we're doing our separate things. 

She doesn't have to fit into your agenda and you don't have to change to fit into hers. This only works if you're really into each other for each others' sake and not what the other can give you. Good luck finding this dynamic. This is what I think would be the best kind of man/woman relationship. Marriage will be the same with a bit more nuances because that's more serious and living together requires for both to compromise a lot more but the outline pretty much the same where both are free to express however they want and at the same time enjoy the differences and similarities as long as basic respect and love is there.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Princess Arabia Only thing i see the problem is that there is no leader and follower,if there is no dynamic like that i dont see how does a sexual dynamic would work, it would be like friends with benefits unique type of relationship.Like i said before same as any work or job enviroment there is a program of how things are.So in dating phase man has to show the experience of how its like to be with him long term,so woman can decide to follow it since its the thing she also wants.If man is transparent with his personality,skills,character,life style and doesnt change it for a woman she then can get on board or not easier but whos transparent nowadays?

Edited July 2 by NoSelfSelf

[Princess Arabia]

39 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Princess Arabia Only thing i see the problem is that there is no leader and follower,if there is no dynamic like that i dont see how does a sexual dynamic would work, it would be like friends with benefits unique type of relationship.Like i said before same as any work or job enviroment there is a program of how things are.So in dating phase man has to show the experience of how its like to be with him long term,so woman can decide to follow it since its the thing she also wants.If man is transparent with his personality,skills,character,life style and doesnt change it for a woman she then can get on board or not.

This, to me, is not what leadership in a man is. Not for a female to "follow' as in not have a life of her own, no opinions, no choices, seems like a slave to me. What you have described is some pill ideology that has been misunderstood and not understood in the proper context of the leadership role of the masculine.

It doesn't mean the man do and be as he pleases and the female has to decide if she wants to get on board and follow. That seems to be a dominant/submissive dynamic and that's not what the healthy version of this dynamic was intended to mean unless both are just into dominant/submissive role play.

Problem with this part of the "leadership role" (teaching), is it gets misconstrued into thinking a man should put a collar on a woman and lead her around like a dog. No. What it means, from my understanding and what a man's leadership means to me, is to be in control of the direction in which the relationship goes.

Meaning, (1) if you want it long-term then take charge in trying to accomplish that and do whatever it takes to secure that. (2) Make sure to secure a safe place for both of you where the female gets so comfortable in your decision-makings that she feels at ease with you in that department where she relaxes and allows the male to take charge in certain things that comes with the masculine energy. (3) He has the container for when there needs to be important changes, he is ready and on stand-by mode to make those changes without things falling apart because he has the leadership skills to maneuver a relationship on demand without having to put the burden on her or put a strain on the relationship. 

In the initial dating phase of just getting to know her, he takes the lead in calling/texting her for dates/interactions/engagements. He allows her to suggests the venue/activities she prefers (quickly) so she can choose a place she's comfortable with - notice I said allows her (that's also leadership). "Quickly", so a gap isn't there for her to wonder about this part of the interaction and to feel comfortable knowing she can choose the place without seeming too aggressive or demanding. He sets the pace for how fast or slow the interactions are as long as she shows genuine interest in him and so she doesn't come off as pushy, masculine, needy and gives him the space he needs but to make herself reasonably available to him when and if the time comes without the need for playing hard-to-get games. I could list a few more, but its not about moving her around at a bar, telling her where to go on the date and having her follow you around on a leash.

 

Edited July 2 by Princess Arabia

[NoSelfSelf]

@Princess Arabia I fail to see where you picked up the slave part, since i said shes the one choosing if she wants to follow based on who i am.Like in a restaurant there is 10 items you can pick now you can choose if thats what you like or not,you not gonna come and try to change the program.

This is interesting topic we unpacked it has alot to it and definately its not a slave relationship since a man gives a free will for a woman to choose by giving her many options to give her choice if she wants to get on board or not.

With a man you finally feel free because you can be what you want because its encouraged it goes againts the scope of the thread.

 

[Princess Arabia]

23 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Princess Arabia I fail to see where you picked up the slave part, since i said shes the one choosing if she wants to follow based on who i am.Like in a restaurant there is 10 items you can pick now you can choose if thats what you like or not,you not gonna come and try to change the program.

This is interesting topic we unpacked it has alot to it and definately its not a slave relationship since a man gives a free will for a woman to choose by giving her many options to give her choice if she wants to get on board or not.

With a man you finally feel free because you can be what you want because its encouraged it goes againts the scope of the thread.

 

You're right, slave was a bit harsh even though it was just figuratively speaking. I still think your way is just a coping mechanism and a way of gaining control over what can be easily taking advantaged of by the wrong woman who can mistake a man's kindness for weakness. Nevertheless, at the end of the day it's what works.