Women looove a nice guy

[Raze]

12 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

This is not a conspiracy. This is my genuine observation as a woman and as a human. Men controlling and competing with other men is not my invention. If you want to believe otherwise, go for it.

What you described was a conspiracy, powerful men purposefully putting across a message for their own benefit. I also still didn’t get a answer on how powerful men benefit from that, unless you’re saying they try to make all the other guys be alpha so they have no competition and can get women with their beta-ness? 

It is the 180 degree opposite of any man’s experience. If you don’t believe me actually consider the backstory of anyone pushing or following the “be alpha” “be a bad boy” narrative, they will always explain they were raised thinking the way to a woman’s heart is kindness, generosity, etc. but got burned badly. 

[Princess Arabia]

53 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

It doesn't make sense to you because you are not a woman. But it does make sense to me and other women. It is so tiring and time-consuming to try to convince or prove to strangers on the internet what you as a woman find attractive, especially if they are already brainwashed by some color-pill ideology.

 

It made sense to me.

[Princess Arabia]

32 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

Lol, and sometimes the quiet, softer women, after a few men break their hearts, become bitchy and start to manipulate men with their sexuality.

Then, the same type of men who looked down on them and mistreated them because they were "too soft" now worship them and try to be nice to them. When it doesn't lead to the outcome they want (sex), these men write on the internet that women are bad because they don't like such nice guys as they are🌞 

How I was convinced of this "men loving bitchy women" stuff was whenever my nice, respectable, sweet, caring, kind persona flew out the window when I was up to my wits end and turned into Jezebel for a hot minute; that's when I was being heard and got more respect from them in that moment of terror. Lol.

It was so bad that they mistakenly took it for love and thought how much I must love them to be displaying that type of emotion and they felt close to me in those moments. Prior to that, I was really being loving and kind and feminine where I was very allowing of the bullshit (not taken advantaged of) just allowing for errs and mistakes etc without getting annoyed because I really wanted it to work out. It was when I was over it and was at my wits end and snapped that they were now ready to hear me out and wanted it to work out then; but it was too late i was done. 

Like R. Kelly's song says "when a woman's fed up, ain't nothing you can do about it". 

[Twentyfirst]

Teal Swan is a feminist who thinks men have been oppressing women for centuries and the only way to solve it is by changing men and laws 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Lila9 said:

Women definitely have to know how to show teeth when needed and be assertive. Many times this is the only way to get respect and needs met in a society that appreciates masculine values more than the feminine.

This is pretty insightful what you describe, I believe I had a similar situation in the past.

This reminds me of Teal's video in which one of the things she talks about are feminine traits that are too vulnerable and unsafe to express in the modern world.

 

Nice video. She does have some valuable videos and powerful insights and recommendations when it comes to relationships and the male/female dynamic. Take what you resonate with and leave the rest, don't care about people's impression of her. I'm not living with her nor sleeping with her so all that doesn't matter. This video was very informative as well as a lot more that she produces. 

[Twentyfirst]

The video is bunk. It gives excuses for why women are in their "masculine" which is really just a nice way of saying women are insufferable. Why is it that only Western women watch these videos? You do know that women in other parts of the world have tougher situations, less comfortability, and they STILL are 10 times more feminine?

Ya'll will invent all these words like "masculine shield" and whatever other crap she said in the video it was really hard to watch you will invent all this things just not to be a normal happy girl who knows her place and knows what men want. Talk about taking the indirect path. Sometimes you just gotta learn from women who are already wives and mothers because obviously they were chosen for a reason.

Even to say that women love nice guys is a result of feminism  

Edited July 3 by Twentyfirst

[Twentyfirst]

Thats the problem with feminism. When the most protected and privileged women of all time start to believe in just a little bit of it then their entire worldview is colored by it and it's the only lens they can see out of. Making them completely unwifey material. And if you do wife them up the programming will make them divorce you and take everything. What is the obsession with believing that for thousands of years men were just oppressing women for no reason essentially handcuffing them to the oven like slaves and only now after we invented laws can we bypass mans evil instinct? COMPLETE GARBAGE and anyone who believes in it is an idiot obviously. Men are programmed by DNA to provide and protect for women even though they only get a percentage of what they gave back 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Twentyfirst Stop watching manosphere videos it will help you alot.This is all just unnecesary clutter in your mind.What you gonna acomplish with this? Change someones mind nah let people believe and do what they want focus on your path be gentle(man).

Nice guys im talking about dont look to enforce things on others if you find what you dont like just say this is not what im looking for it wont work out peace.

Ofcourse be what you wanna be but not in this thread,its thread of niceness for a change and for me too 😄

Edited July 3 by NoSelfSelf

[Raze]

8 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Lol, and sometimes the quiet, softer women, after a few men break their hearts, become bitchy and start to manipulate men with their sexuality.

Then, the same type of men who looked down on them and mistreated them because they were "too soft" now worship them and try to be nice to them. When it doesn't lead to the outcome they want (sex), these men write on the internet that women are bad because they don't like such nice guys as they are🌞 

Now you’re conflicting yourself, you say women are attracted to nice guys then say they become bitter because men mistreat them, clearly they weren’t attracted to nice guys if they end up being mistreated over and over. 
Now you reference Teal Swan but she’s also said the opposite 

 

[Tenebroso]

4 hours ago, Lila9 said:

 

Psychopathic and narcissistic men often hide their true nature initially, acting as gentlemen to charm women in the initial dating stages because this works. 

This is not true. Women say this to conceal the truth of what they are attracted to. Openly Psychopathic, narcissistic men have zero issue attracting women. They don't have to hide anything. One of the most common things said to unattractive men is that women can somehow sense and intuit the negative traits that are holding them back. So women can have an insight into the true nature of unattractive men and absolutely know their intentions yet, curiously this intuition does not seem to function as well with a certain group of men. Either women do actually care about kindness, emotional intelligence etc if a man is attractive or high status enough or women do not have some special intuition that guides them into making the best mate choices.

Women all over social media basically admit that they actively choose fuckboys and assholes. It's not just young women or women from disadvantaged backgrounds. I believe women only have true primal attraction to the most attractive men and actually negative traits like narcissism but they have trouble reconciling what they are attracted to with what their ideal selves in their minds should be attracted to. Women want to be attracted to kind, emotionally intelligent, gentleman but that is not what they respond to. For all the vitriol directed towards players, abusers, fuckboys etc it is interesting that these men always seem to have romantic partners. You can almost see an algorithm that the more of a drain a man is on society, the more horrible he is, the less issues he has with women. Yet there is attempt to gaslight men into not seeing what is obvious because the truth is so uncomfortable.

Ironically, if incels and unattractive men were as bad and dangerous as society made them out to be they would have no issues attracting women. It's telling that the few incels who go on to unfortunately hurt people end up receiving love letters from women but let's not talk about that. No, women are morally superior, virtuous mind readers.

[Kid A]

2 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

This is not true. Women say this to conceal the truth of what they are attracted to. Openly Psychopathic, narcissistic men have zero issue attracting women. They don't have to hide anything. One of the most common things said to unattractive men is that women can somehow sense and intuit the negative traits that are holding them back. So women can have an insight into the true nature of unattractive men and absolutely know their intentions yet, curiously this intuition does not seem to function as well with a certain group of men. Either women do actually care about kindness, emotional intelligence etc if a man is attractive or high status enough or women do not have some special intuition that guides them into making the best mate choices.

Women all over social media basically admit that they actively choose fuckboys and assholes. It's not just young women or women from disadvantaged backgrounds. I believe women only have true primal attraction to the most attractive men and actually negative traits like narcissism but they have trouble reconciling what they are attracted to with what their ideal selves in their minds should be attracted to. Women want to be attracted to kind, emotionally intelligent, gentleman but that is not what they respond to. For all the vitriol directed towards players, abusers, fuckboys etc it is interesting that these men always seem to have romantic partners. You can almost see an algorithm that the more of a drain a man is on society, the more horrible he is, the less issues he has with women. Yet there is attempt to gaslight men into not seeing what is obvious because the truth is so uncomfortable.

Ironically, if incels and unattractive men were as bad and dangerous as society made them out to be they would have no issues attracting women. It's telling that the few incels who go on to unfortunately hurt people end up receiving love letters from women but let's not talk about that. No, women are morally superior, virtuous mind readers.

This couldn’t be further from the truth, in my experience. You should have seen how many girls I’ve lost in the past because I didn’t use enough cute emojis when texting or offended them over nothing on dates. For getting dates and results with women, I have to be such a nice guy that it almost makes me puke. 

[Tenebroso]

@Kid A Rubbish, go and troll somewhere else. The difference between getting dates and results with women has never for anyone, anywhere been contingent on emojis.

[Tenebroso]

On 02/07/2024 at 0:29 PM, Lila9 said:

People assume that Timothee is an INFP, and I can see it. He has the same natural down-to-earth charm as Johnny Depp, who is also considered an INFP.

This is interesting because people assume that INFP men are not attractive to women or that introverted men in general are not attractive to women, which is completely false.

They call those men beta and simps because of their kind and friendly attitude towards women.

In reality, those "beta" men are highly attractive and successful with women because they are approachable, safe, and charming.

Interestingly enough, they will never brag about their success with women or complain about lack of it, which adds to their allure.

I believe that toxic, psychopathic, and narcissistic men, who hold power in society, lie to men about what women are attracted to in order to maintain their power over other men and women.

They shame genuinely kind men and call them simps or beta because they know that after dating such "beta" men, women will no longer tolerate their toxic behavior.

"Beta" men force the toxic men who present toxic masculine traits to work harder to have women. 

Timothee Chalamet is a famous Nepo baby. Millions of men with similar personality get overlooked. Women use men like Timothee, Danny Devito, Pete Davidson etc to make a point. When really the point is that status makes any man regardless of personality attractive. I am kind and friendly towards women, doesn't make them attracted to me. The only people lying to men about attraction are women.

Women complain about toxicity from men they are involved with yet they can leave these men. Are we to believe women with their incredible intuition are being blindsided and manipulated or is it that all standard go out of the window when it comes to attractive high status men. While men who have never lied, hurt or cheated on a woman are ignored and told it's because their toxic. I am not the one abusing women, cheating on them, manipulating, making them uncomfortable on the streets. Yet the men who do those things have no problems. 

[gambler]

"Beta men" have no backbone. This is why other men in general dislike them. They maintain the status quo that men need to conform to the women. And if you deviate from this prescribed mold, then you are insecure, not a real man, a weak man, and so on and so forth. There is this invisible pressure to accept a woman for who she is, whereas men cannot demand the same but instead need to change and accommodate the woman, and "beta men" perpetuate this gender imbalance.

Furthermore, the "beta male" reinforces gender expectations that dictate that men need to be submissive or passive to please the woman. Yet when it's the other way around, this is seen as sexist and misogynistic. 

The "beta male" believes he is secure since he feels he does not need to assert any needs or desires. A women however, is allowed to be confident and assert her desires. Therefore the "beta male" perpetuates a dynamic where women can be vocal and assertive in this regard, whereas men need to prioritize a women's desires or even withhold their own; reinforcing the idea that the woman naturally has precedence. This dynamic also makes it where men are more likely to be afraid or hesitant to voice their preferences or opinions, especially to the contrary. 

The "beta male" also reinforces the idea that men should derive fulfilment from how well they acclimate to a woman's desires before their own intrinsic set of values. The "beta male" does not care for what men inherently value, only women.

Seemingly, the "beta male" reduces the concept of masculinity to how well a man can cater to a woman.

(a shoutout to chatgpt for helping me articulate this).

Edited July 4 by gambler

[NoSelfSelf]

@Tenebroso Please spare us your pity and hate you have over yourself nobody want a negative feel sorry for yourself attitude massive turn off for women/people in general.

Edited July 4 by NoSelfSelf

[NoSelfSelf]

 @gambler To avoid all this stop caring about what other people do and just focus on what you want to offer to women/people, without asking anything in return like a perk of being around you.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

9 hours ago, Kid A said:

This couldn’t be further from the truth, in my experience. You should have seen how many girls I’ve lost in the past because I didn’t use enough cute emojis when texting or offended them over nothing on dates. For getting dates and results with women, I have to be such a nice guy that it almost makes me puke. 

Post specific message and things you did on a date where you got that reaction so we can asses it.

[Kid A]

8 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

@Kid A Rubbish, go and troll somewhere else. The difference between getting dates and results with women has never for anyone, anywhere been contingent on emojis.

After I started using emojis, I got a lot better results on Tinder. 

Btw: You’re the biggest asshole I’ve ever come across on this forum. The real irony is that if you were right about the stuff you’re talking about, you would be a chick magnet, but that’s not the case now, is it?

[Kid A]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Post specific message and things you did on a date where you got that reaction so we can asses it.

I don’t have those old chats from Tinder anymore, but like I said, after I started using emojis like this <😊😅😂>, my results got way better. I also found out that humor is very dangerous when texting, so I pretty much stopped using it except for in opening messages. Boring conversations are what works in online dating.

Here are a few examples from dates:

1. I went out with a Russian girl. Early on I said «… because you Russians are a bit, you know, old fashioned.» She then snapped and started yelling at me. The date was over right after that.

2. I went out with a Pakistani girl. We were talking about two famous Pakistani politicians. I’m not a fan of neither of those two and was honest about it. She clearly didn’t like that and the rest of the date was pretty awkward from there.

3. I went out with a girl from a part of this country where they are known for being cheap. I jokingly said that the dialect make them all sound like villains. She was really offended by that…

4. I went out with a girl who used snus (pretty popular here). I half-jokingly called her disgusting for using it. She found an excause to go home right after that.

Edited July 4 by Kid A

[gambler]

24 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

Are you also stoic? Have a backbone? Can be assertive when needed? Have decent self-esteem? Know what you want in life? Have some maturity?

These are some of the attributes that women assume men already have when they say they want nice men. We assume that you already have all of that, and the kindness, gentle behavior, and emotional maturity are the cherry on top, but also crucial to making women hooked.

If you think about it deeply, in our world, it is the easiest thing to be rude and toxic, and this usually comes from a lack of the masculine attributes I have mentioned. It comes from a lack of stoicism, a lack of a backbone, a lack of self-esteem, and a lack of maturity.

Many rude and toxic men appear to have some or all of the attributes I mentioned above. But this is an illusion, they perform. It’s a performance of masculinity.

But they don't always completely embody it. They use toys and external symbols like cars, status, money, and approval to rely on. It’s like an actor with scenery or decorations which they take everywhere to convey masculinity.

Very young women might fall for that, or unwise women, but healthy women seek men who embody true masculine energy, and it doesn't come with toxicity and performance but the opposite. You can't buy it, or bribe someone to have it. It's either you have it, or work on developing it if you don't have it.

If you are kind, but haven't integrated your masculine attributes, then integrate them. Work on your maturity and self-esteem, work on self-control and stoicism, work on owning your sexuality and using it in a responsible way, work on your assertiveness and develop a strong, healthy ego.

Being kind to women is good, but not enough, just as being stoic is good but not enough.

If you are kind but immature, have low self-esteem, have shame around your sexuality, are a people pleaser, too selfish, don't know what you want, and have baggage of unhealed trauma from childhood, then, of course, this wouldn't work.

 

Well said.