How to get back ex

[KenDo]

So my ex broke up with me January and I can’t stop contacting her. She said she wants to stay friends but sometimes makes me feel like maybe things could work out again but then again change back to distant and cold vibe. she never contacts me first. Idk I feel like if I stop contacting her which is now like on a Weekly basis, I will loose her completely but also if I contact her so often it’s also pushing her away. My heart tells me I should give her space but still it’s very hard cause I tried finding someone like her but just can’t. She’s the best I’ve had. What do I do? 

[Yimpa]

Just don’t.

[OBEler]

She needs to feel that she lost you completely. So say goodbye. No contact from you. Make one Thing clear. No friendship possible.

After some time she will miss you. You can miss only someone if he is really not there.

She will check out if she can anytime come back to you. Talk to her like a normal person, be polite. Make a normal meetup and then start from there again.

But here comes the thing. If you did not level up in this time, worked on your failures that lead to this breakup, it will not happen! You need to develop yourself (start with basics: good eating, sleeping, training habits)

Also any neediness will destroy that.High chance your neediness will show to herself in any signal (tone of your voice, etc).

 

To give you some serious hopes there are plenty of chances to get together again. The real question is do you really want it?

Edited June 29 by OBEler

[Daniel123]

I feel your pain and have been in the same position before (as many others surely have as well). The constant thoughts about your former partner haunting you, diminishing your appetite and sleep.

In the end, regular contact will only lengthen the duration of your suffering, creating a false hope for a reunion while at the same time closing yourself off from future more loving relationships. It really puts you in a spot where you can't win. At least that is my experience.

So give yourself time to grief, but as far as regular contact goes,

8 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Just don’t.

 

[Yimpa]

 

[thierry]

3 hours ago, OBEler said:

She needs to feel that she lost you completely. So say goodbye. No contact from you. Make one Thing clear. No friendship possible.

After some time she will miss you. You can miss only someone if he is really not there.

She will check out if she can anytime come back to you. Talk to her like a normal person, be polite. Make a normal meetup and then start from there again.

But here comes the thing. If you did not level up in this time, worked on your failures that lead to this breakup, it will not happen! You need to develop yourself (start with basics: good eating, sleeping, training habits)

Also any neediness will destroy that.High chance your neediness will show to herself in any signal (tone of your voice, etc).

 

To give you some serious hopes there are plenty of chances to get together again. The real question is do you really want it?

I think you are right about how it works but I do not think it is healthy to play that game. To me sounds that @KenDo is already spending too much energy on a girl that clearly is not invested. I’m sorry but my masculine solidarity goes with @Yimpa on that one. « Just don’t » 

Invest on people that invests along with you. Do not get scam. You have inner value regardless of an other. 

[integral]

There is a very high chance another guy is in the picture and she’s not telling you about him.

The situation is over you need to cut all contact.

Allow the healing process to start and start dating other women

she is not the one that’s why you guys are not in contact right now, You guys are not compatible that’s why you broke up there’s no future situation where you’re suddenly going to be compatible, you guys tried and it didn’t work time to find someone else and level yourself up 

Edited June 30 by integral

[OBEler]

@thierryYes the best is he should go on. But if he really needs to do it I gave him a template. That's what he asked for.

She will have another boyfriend immediately. That's also a very high chance.

Yes that hurts but you will get over it

[museumoftrees]

Going back to an ex is a mistake. Don't do it. Listen to Leo's video about break ups.

[OBEler]

2 hours ago, museumoftrees said:

Going back to an ex is a mistake. Don't do it. Listen to Leo's video about break ups.

No you can't say that so radically.

Every relationship is unique.

[MarkKol]

You’re wasting your time, people don’t just fall in and out of love like that, if she wanted to be with you she would never leave you.

It’s over

[OBEler]

@MarkKol there are many reasons why she left.

You cannot say that so simple 

[KenDo]

She broke up cause she doesn’t have the time and energy for a relationship and she felt bad cause I was doing more for the relationship than her. I told her I don’t mind and she is enough for me but I think she doesn’t believe me and doesn’t want me to feel bad in the relationship. It’s to bothersome for her basically. But I don’t have any huge requirements for the relationship. Working on it makes me happy cause I like her so she doesn’t need to feel bad. But i told her this and well she doesn’t think so. So yeah this is were things are

[OBEler]

@KenDo ok that sounds more like it's over.

[integral]

Women lie strongly in conflict situation’s to reduce backlash and negativity towards them. They’re not gonna tell you the truth in these kind of situation’s.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIhP8NKhHXg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2y1kAHvZN7w

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-get-your-girlfriend-back

[Yimpa]

3 hours ago, integral said:

Women lie strongly in conflict situation’s to reduce backlash and negativity towards them. They’re not gonna tell you the truth in these kind of situation’s.

I told the truth to an ex one time and got immediately banned from ever contacting them again 

[integral]

1 minute ago, Yimpa said:

I told the truth to an ex one time and got immediately banned from ever contacting them again 

Im sorry to hear that, it looks like lying is a justified adaptation 😅

[Yimpa]

Just now, integral said:

Im sorry to hear that, it looks like lying is a justified adaptation 😅

Our relationship lasted very short. I feel embarrassed that I didn’t catch the trap earlier. Learning these lessons early is a blessing, though!

[Ayham]

I have been there, I am over it now.

Only thing that worked: cut all contact possible, and start a streak of not checking her social media

work on yourself during it
i know it hurts a lot and in my case i cried a lot lol, it is so harsh but that's life

in the end, I fell in love with god instead (sufi poetry helped me)