Dissatisfied with life like I’m in a mid life crisis

[Chadders]

long one. Bit of a rant about my life. Maybe I should speak to a shrink   

Im not in mid life but i have all the components of a mid life crisis. What was, still is, and what is does not satisfy me any longer. 

Problem is I’m stuck. I have been on a very long journey with my business but since embarking on the journey 6 years ago I am a changed man. Basically I’m in limbo stuck with a business that still does not pay me a wage, so having to do a job in sales that I really don’t like but that pays well and is flexible so I can still work on the company. I work for a university so benefits are good. 

I just feel really fucked off sometimes. I have been pretty introverted as well for the last 10 years or so I’m changing  that but still feel that the potential for radical change is held back by my situation that is not allowing me to fully actualise it. I want to go further faster  

Now I know that things will eventually change. Nothing ever stays the same. We are edging closer to being revenue generating so we can go to an investor and I can pay myself a wage to be CEO full time but when this will be who knows? Honestly you would not believe how long things take. We have prospective businesses that have been in the pipeline for sometime now that haven’t move to contract stage. And as long as this still plods on at a snails pace I am stuck in a bullshit job  

Sometimes I ask the universe why? Why is it taking so long? What is the purpose of this limbo? Especially when I have had the conscious shifts and want to change. Change is too slow for me. I want action but I have committed to the company which keeps me locked in from changing radically which I want

The irony of venturing with this was to give me freedom. It has done just about the opposite 

Just really pissed off sometimes. Looking to meet more women in my life which I am working on but that I know is ultimately not fully realised because of my state. I would say my state fluctuates between 40% - 60% so I am not in essence as happy and satisfied as I know I can be and that rubs off. Again because of the situation

Again I’m making changes in my life but they’re not happening fast enough nor radically enough. 

Fuck it I might just buy myself a motorbike. I have wanted to do that! Excuse the bitching but maybe someone can relate here

 

Edited June 29 by Chadders

[LastThursday]

I'm with you there, except I'm not running a business.

From the way you're speaking I think you're approaching a point of inflection. If the business takes off in a sensible time frame, then you'll be on your way. However if it doesn't, your internal state will eventually force you to take drastic action or a big course correction - that will be the actual crisis. Depending on how you handle that it may or may not be painful. Go get that motorbike, but just know it's fluff and distraction, and that's ok. Just keep working towards that freedom whatever form it takes.

As for actual concrete advice, if I had any I would apply it to myself first! Good luck.

[Chadders]

@LastThursday cheers some wise words

The thing is I’m not so bothered about success or failure with the business - at least nowhere near like I was before. Of course I will be devastated at first but it’s just about wanting to move on with my life. Just to move on. This is all I ask of the universe so I can properly actualise the things that are now important to me. New priorities have emerged 

The motorbike is about growth for me. The sense of freedom and liberation and being able to hit the road on two wheels at speed where there is jeopardy. You’re far more vulnerable on a bike than a car but that’s where the thrill is!

Hopefully things get moving for you in your world. What’s the sticky point that’s hindering progress?

Edited June 30 by Chadders

[LastThursday]

Woah I didn't think you'd actually ask me. Erm... I have a long laundry list of hinderances, most of it probably bullshit. My own mind in short. I have to reprogram the beast. Cheers anyway.

Seems like you know your own priorities though: freedom, jeopardy, impatience, movement. Lean into those things not against them, there's my advice.