Hello everyone, I will do my best to remember everything I want to say for things to make since and to respond in a timely manner mainly for @Leo Gura to prevent resentment from getting banned because it's related to the self-help products just in case from what is about to happen and I make this public to help other people feel less alone in this because I never know who will read this. Staring off, my Dad gave me his card because of the challenges of me having to be a foreigner in Russia to avoid wars, limited job opportunities because of that, limited skill set, going through the motions, and not knowing where to live next while doing online college from here and that my Dad asks me if I make purchases so that I can have a little bit of more freedom which started with a request that was done through my phone until something went wrong and that the card was taken away from me. He allowed the purchase of therapy because of the reasons above and how my everyday life can make me less aware of how I deal with my circumstances and others. One day, I paid extra from having more sessions in a shorter period of time which triggered a notification for something that I forgot I paid for awile ago. I told my Dad that I didn't recognize it until my memory did but it was too late and that my Dad changed his card meaning that I will lose access to the self-help products. If there is any association with the account I used to pay for the self-help products and this one, please note that this is just a mistake and that I don't deserve to get banned from the forum.   Also, for any of you stuck in a similar situation like mine, just emphisize the things you like about Leo's content even if the radical videos and the blog about politics, psychadelics, etc could be an obstacle and that you won't be judged for liking the things that stand out (or at least I hope not). I didn't want to take the risk and waited for the opportunity to come to me but I guess part of the work here is to test my thoughts and beiefs even if things go wrong which would be better than being lost. I just hated the feeling of resentment from the risk of my request getting rejected at the time since Leo posts everything on one website and that I specifically wanted his self-products because of the deep content he shares but don't let that stop you if you know you can ask from a safe distance without any strict monitoring and judgements from that. Keep in mind that I know that my Dad would know what I purchase. This hatred or resentment is related to the feeling of being misunderstood which is why I left the forum for a very long time, I apoligize if the value I could have added was lost but it feels like I go deeper in spirituality if I'm not mistaken.