Hello Guys

[James123]

Guys after suffering days due to my child condition, MDD and anxiety hit me, I couldn't sit in the chair. I had very bad feelings for days. I had lived terrible days, hours, minutes and seconds. And last hit, which is the pacemaker surgery of mine came to the surface and I had a surgery. I had no choice left but surrendering. It was the point that I lost my all hope, literally all hope. 

Now I surrender, I have no expectations, pleasure, pain, questions ( which is created me). Now, I am just free, because I am death. I don't give a fuck whatever happens to me anymore. That's all. 

I accepted fundamentally, deeply that nothing is under my control and therefore surrender. Fucking everything is in my head. I felt like I just shot my head like movie fight club. Now I am done. Whatever happens let it happens.

Edited June 28 by James123

[Breakingthewall]

very serious events, tests that show you the way: give up, open up, accept, let go. In the end the light will shine for you.

This is a path, a forge. Everything points towards learning, the evolution of the complex human structure. nothing seems coincidental, everything appears at the right moment. reality shapes itself through its unlimited intelligence. The cosmos rotates, evolves, rises in complexity to extract even more of itself from the infinite well of reality. it flows in itself and the movement of that flow is exactly this. Beneath all the misery and sorrow is a movement of glory. It is absolutely unfathomable, a infinite dance. 

[James123]

25 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

very serious events, tests that show you the way: give up, open up, accept, let go. In the end the light will shine for you.

Even if there is no light, I don't even care anymore. This is the end of ego, fuck it, fuck the mind, fuck the controlling. 

[Davino]

No brakes are needed in consciousness what comes we let it come and what goes we let it go

[Someone here]

SOLVE.YOUR.PROPLEMS.PRACTICALLY.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, James123 said:

This is the end of ego, fuck it, fuck the mind, fuck the controlling.

Until next week. The control was never there to begin with. Fuck the mind...lol. You've just ignited that flame. Now it's really gonna drive you crazy. 

 

[Keryo Koffa]

23 minutes ago, Someone here said:

SOLVE.YOUR.PROPLEMS.PRACTICALLY.

"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived " -Osho

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived " -Osho

You're funny. Giving him a reminder there, I see.

[Keryo Koffa]

@James123 Get to the source of it and burn it up!

[James123]

4 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Until next week. The control was never there to begin with. Fuck the mind...lol. You've just ignited that flame. Now it's really gonna drive you crazy. 

 

 

Just now, Keryo Koffa said:

@James123 Get to the source of it and burn it up!

İ really don't give a fuck anymore. İ let go. No more purpose, nor question. Just freedom and being. That's all. 

[Princess Arabia]

6 minutes ago, James123 said:

 

İ really don't give a fuck anymore. İ let go. No more purpose, nor question. Just freedom and being. That's all. 

There's no freedom for the one that thinks it's free. Freedom also includes caring, not caring, just being, not just being, not giving a fuck, giving a fuck. Freedom includes even the feeling of not feeling free. This is why it's the same as unconditional love/liberation. Being free to feel unliberated and free. This is Absolute. 

You have just described another form of slavery/mind control/ thoughts trying to be free from thoughts. All there is is freedom. 

Edited June 28 by Princess Arabia

[James123]

Just now, Princess Arabia said:

There's no freedom for the one that thinks it's free. Freedom also includes caring, not caring, just being, not just being, not giving a fuck, giving a fuck. Freedom includes even the feeling of not feeling free. This is why it's the same as unconditional love/liberation. Being free to feel unliberated and free. This is Absolute. 

You have just described another form of slavery/mind control/ thoughts trying to be free from thoughts.

Yeah yeah right. 

[Someone here]

10 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived " -Osho

Only if you're conscious of that ..which he is not.

[josemar]

2 hours ago, James123 said:

Even if there is no light, I don't even care anymore. This is the end of ego, fuck it, fuck the mind, fuck the controlling. 

"Fuck the mind."

                        - the mind

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, josemar said:

"Fuck the mind."

                        - the mind

Lol

Matter of fact, lmao.

Edited June 28 by Princess Arabia

[James123]

Just now, josemar said:

"Fuck the mind."

                        - the mind

Mind can successfully shoot itself. Have you tried? İ liked it very much.  You should try. 

As die before you die. Rumi!

[josemar]

3 hours ago, James123 said:

Mind can successfully shoot itself. Have you tried? İ liked it very much.  You should try. 

As die before you die. Rumi!

Not very successful, if you've done it hundreds of times.

Who liked it very much? The mind, when it reassembled itself? Cool.

[James123]

1 hour ago, josemar said:

Not very successful, if you've done it hundreds of times.

Who liked it very much? The mind, when it reassembled itself? Cool.

Of course! Volunteerly, I killed myself many times. Therefore, I was addicted to pychedelics, just stopped consuming them. I love to kill my mind or myself, because I (self) hate the self too much. 

[Breakingthewall]

10 hours ago, James123 said:

I love to kill my mind or myself, because I (self) hate the self too much. 

17 hours ago, James123 said:

 

Try to fully love your self , be fully honest, fight hard and not avoid suffering. Open yourself to the suffering and suffer. Why? Because you have a son and you have a debt with him. You bring him to this nightmare called human life, so now you have to be at the level that life demands, otherwise your karma will sink into hell, and his karma will be a war. Be strong, stop avoidance. 

[James123]

1 hour ago, Breakingthewall said:

Try to fully love your self , be fully honest, fight hard and not avoid suffering. Open yourself to the suffering and suffer. Why? Because you have a son and you have a debt with him. You bring him to this nightmare called human life, so now you have to be at the level that life demands, otherwise your karma will sink into hell, and his karma will be a war. Be strong, stop avoidance. 

I think, trying to stop is the hell, but letting go and surrender is the key/heaven. And in order to do that self must be gone or surrendered so to speak.