Removing The Thorn

[Fight1Up]

I usually don't post as much, but I had this question/issue in the my back of my head as this is the place I feel comfortable asking in a like-minded environment.

 

I'm still stuck between the duality of having sex and not having sex. I am 24 and still a virgin and there is this thorn of emotional maturity I want to express through sex, but I also want to keep a long term answer in finding a genuine authentic partner which is no sex until I find one. 

 

I don't know what your thoughts on hookup culture, but I was having thoughts about it with the mere intention of growing myself and expressing my sexuality since I always loved the idea of sex.

 

I'm also aware of having an authentic genuine partner which means I feel like I have to wait for the perfect one which somewhere within says I will be thankful if I wait for this one. The only thing is my sexuality is not being expressed which makes it hard to not follow. 

 

I am practicing sexual kung fu from Mantak Chia who introduced the idea of 'Taoist way of love: cultivating the male sexual energy' for fyi with idea of expressing love within self while not losing chi or through ejaculation.

 

With this issue at hand I feel like I'm trying to kill two birds with one stone meaning have sex and also find an genuine authentic partner. 

 

What are thoughts or input on this matter? Am I overthinking the situation? Would it be wise to wait for my partner? Should I express my sexuality with someone else until I find one? What is the genuine direction I'm going with this subject? 

[Staples]

Totally overthinking. Most people just fuck whenever they get the chance. 

This sexual kung fu stuff is probably not helping. 

I understand your position, I was the same as a guy in my early 20s too. It took a lot of work to accept and understand that I was deeply sexually repressed and ashamed. At least that was my situation, yours is likely different. 

Start by totally accepting your current situation, and start making identity-level changes to become the type of person you want to be sexually.

[Fight1Up]

For the sexual kung fu, it has helped me move freely away from my long term porn addiction. I have been practicing almost 2 years and can't say the least how free I am today.

 

I guess my real input on this is my idea of semen retention, and how I feel the need to gain power in doing so, but at the same time expressing/leaning it in a way that may benefit others or even by having a partner.