How does one find joy in the present moment without accomplishing something external?

[Indianonymous]

Concepts that confuse me

1. “Presence and mindfulness bring you joy & peace in the present moment”

2. “The next beer will make me happy”

 

People keep saying that you should find joy & peace in the present moment. That the chase for joy in another moment is an illusion.

 

I am conflicted by this idea.

On the one hand I realize it to be true, because I have accomplished great things in life. Frankly, quite insane things. And it is true that though I might have been happy and possibly a bit satisified in those moments of success or accomplishment, it inevitably, just seemed fleeting since I started looking for the next goal/entertainment achieved moment to be happy.

I got down to a shredded 6 pack peeled inside out after an 8 month long grind. It was amazing. Incredibly rewarding and made me very happy. It didn’t make me happy that I had a shredded 6 pack ironically. It made me happy that I accomplished something so insanely difficult that I never knew I could, that I know most people quit out on the path to somewhere along the way.

But that happiness/peace contentment only lasted about 72 hours. Until I had to pick another goal to start pursuing to feel that feeling of accomplishment and pride and happiness in myself again.

I have made 6 figures in my first year of business. I have dated a fair few girls and had amazing sex, and going from someone that was once a black pilled incel that was unbelievable and an amazing accomplishment for me.

But again, I seem to keep chasing for the next thing to make me happy.

Currently I have gotten down to ~12 percent body fat again, and I love it, I enjoy lifting, I enjoy training, I enjoy the challenge, and am happy and proud of myself as well. But I feel a part of me is waiting to get to ~6 ish percent again to feel completely and totally self and internally validated again I think. And even proud of myself to confirm that I can do hard things.

I haven’t worked in a while now. As I said, after having made lots of money in the past before. And I feel not so at peace, or even bad about myself, since I haven’t made money in a while. And I think my self acceptance is around the corner at when I next hit my 10k months again.

Now obviously having lived life already so far I know that once I hit that number I will once again end up feeling either ‘empty’ or feeling that I need to step it up another level to be ‘happy’ or more proud of myself even.

I do find peace for a little bit when I FINALLY accomplish something. But it is quick and fleeting until I find the need to find something else to pursue to validate myself with.

 

Another aspect of this is when folks say just be mindful and present in the moment and you will have joy without the need for any external attributes.

 

But I don’t understand this at all when you compare the internal vs external methods/sources of joy.

I sit around and am mindful. Whether I meditate in and around an object, my breath, a sensation or whatever. Or I do affirmations or gratitude for my life or whatever. There is no feeling of ‘joy’ or happiness so to speak. Just some current calm and peace. And even that is ‘before the storm’. Since you have to go out there and start working towards your next goal again soon.

Whereas say I compare the sitting around and being mindful to, grabbing a beer or having sex. Is there not DEFINITELY more objective joy than the moment in which I just sit and am present and nothing is happening?

Clearly sex is exciting, exhilarating, enjoyable. And a beer helps you to relax your stressed mind a bit making the present moment more dare I say it even ‘bearable’ to go through the otherwise present moment, which I have clouded by all kinds of random stressful thoughts.

 

So these 2 concepts entirely confuse me.

"Stay in the present moment and be mindful and you should have joy and happiness via peace."

No matter what I keep pursuing, I find I need to elevate it to the next level to get even “more” joy and happiness. Eg. Instead of 1 beer, continue with another, then another then another mixed with some shots in between. After normal sex, go for a threesome, add BDSM in, add in porn etc etc.

 

I would love to come to understand how to find joy in the present moment without the need to achieve or accomplish something and also without the need to elevate the current activity to the next level.

[Rafael Thundercat]

 

 

[Keryo Koffa]

"When we attempt to exercise power or control over someone else, we cannot avoid giving that person the very same power or control over us" - Alan Watts

You have maxed out achievement, ridding yourself of attachments by conquering them, now all that is left to conquer is the need for conquest itself. Your activities bind you, condition your happiness, can you be happy without them? Hedonism is an infinite game, so try this before you start any activity: Stop for two minutes, think about how it binds and conditions you to only feel content and joyful by carrying it out and stops you from being independently content irregardless of any circumstance, and then do it anyway. That should be a good start.

You might also wanna look into shadow work. Also find something you love doing, for no outcome at all but just for its own sake, without any purpose, but just for the joy of it, a spiritual or creative activity, one that you enjoy, not one that others say will make you happy, instead something you would do even if you were the only person on earth in full freedom.

Edited June 26 by Keryo Koffa

[Keryo Koffa]

 

[gettoefl]

peace is nothing gets me down, joy is everything fires me up

you don't get them, you bring them, you in fact are them

most around you lack one in particular

if they're anxious bring peace if depressed bring joy

if they are all good they are ready for love

peace needs an awakening to the fact that i am the creator of my reality, it is not here to harm me but to heal me

joy means seeing the world as magical mystical magnificent; it is a wonderland, a playground, an amusement park, it is for me and from me and with me all the way

Edited June 27 by gettoefl

[Ajay0]

On 6/25/2024 at 9:55 PM, Indianonymous said:

Concepts that confuse me

1. “Presence and mindfulness bring you joy & peace in the present moment”

2. “The next beer will make me happy”

 

People keep saying that you should find joy & peace in the present moment. That the chase for joy in another moment is an illusion.

 

I am conflicted by this idea.

On the one hand I realize it to be true, because I have accomplished great things in life. Frankly, quite insane things. And it is true that though I might have been happy and possibly a bit satisified in those moments of success or accomplishment, it inevitably, just seemed fleeting since I started looking for the next goal/entertainment achieved moment to be happy.

I got down to a shredded 6 pack peeled inside out after an 8 month long grind. It was amazing. Incredibly rewarding and made me very happy. It didn’t make me happy that I had a shredded 6 pack ironically. It made me happy that I accomplished something so insanely difficult that I never knew I could, that I know most people quit out on the path to somewhere along the way.

But that happiness/peace contentment only lasted about 72 hours. Until I had to pick another goal to start pursuing to feel that feeling of accomplishment and pride and happiness in myself again.

I have made 6 figures in my first year of business. I have dated a fair few girls and had amazing sex, and going from someone that was once a black pilled incel that was unbelievable and an amazing accomplishment for me.But again, I seem to keep chasing for the next thing to make me happy.

This is the nature of all sensory and intellectual pleasures which are not of a permanent nature due to the factors of saturation or impermanence. You have to keep chasing such fleeting pleasures in the hope of eternal happiness which is but a mirage or illusion.

However joy and bliss of a permanent nature and greater intensity than sensory pleasures,  is within ourselves and accessible if one makes the proper efforts for it.  Being in present moment awareness or mindfulness is one such way forward.

Present moment awareness or mindfulness however requires a lot of intelligent practice as it does not come easily due to the incessant thinking and emoting of the mind. It would be great if you are in the midst of nature or in the beach as the high prana/chi levels enables better present moment awareness.

Quote

I would love to come to understand how to find joy in the present moment without the need to achieve or accomplish something and also without the need to elevate the current activity to the next level.

Being in present moment awareness is not contradictory to enjoyment of work. In fact, if you enjoy your work projects it automatically ensures awareness. 

This saying by Barry Long will shed light on the subject..

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You are always in the state of awareness when you love what you are doing. You are aware all the time, for love keeps you awake and in union with the action.

You are also creative in this state although the state of awareness diminishes as you get used to the job and then you go back to sleep. ~ Barry Long

 

[Leo Gura]

The reality is that getting joy from just sitting around and doing nothing requires insane levels of consciousness and development.

And people who have pent up desires to burn through will not be able to do it until they burn through those desires first.

For me, the joy doesn't come from just sitting and doing nothing mindlessly, the joy comes from a deep consciousness of existential matters about reality. But you could even call that a kind of intellectual seeking.

If you want to literally have joy from doing nothing, that will not be possible without some serious awakenings and some serious ego-death. The ego is never happy just doing nothing. Especially if you have a decent sense of ambition, which you do.

For most people to be happy they need to be working on things which give their life meaning, whether that's business, family, gym, travel, or whatever.

Of course the thrill of success will be stronger than the mild joy of just be present. The thrill of achievement is a dopamine hit. The joy of presence is a serotinin hit. They are two different reward pathways. Dopmine hits are stronger but they are also always fleeting.

So there's a tradeoff.

Edited June 28 by Leo Gura

[creativepursuit]

@Indianonymous That sounds like a very typical stage Orange problem - Pleasure chasing, one after the other. Try to change the environment around you; you will probably see a change in your behavior. As I see it, you have the intent, but perhaps the environment needs an update.

[PenguinPablo]

@creativepursuit But the chase itself is kinda fun too. The journey itself. Wtf else am I supposed to do? Stare at a wall for the rest of my life...

[creativepursuit]

@PenguinPablo You can do all the chasing you want for the rest of your life if it brings you joy, positivity, and a sense of goodness towards other human beings. The author doesn't find it satisfying; each has their own journey.