Most People Don't Even Realize That Socializing Is A Skill

[eTorro]

Hello.

Socially awkward people don't understand that socializing is a pre-verbal. All social people have the ability to enter a state of mind in which they feel comfortable around people. Socializing comes naturally to them --- they never think about what they are going to say next. They enjoy smiling without feeling like they must make an effort.

Here's a list of what's wrong if you are socially anxious, self-conscious, and awkward:

1. You can't smile easily. If the other person smiles to you, the exact opposite happens in you --- you can try to smile, of course, but it is forced.

2. You are self-conscious. That awful state of self-consciousness must be turned off if you want to be comfortable around people. Otherwise, you can't socialize effectively.

3. Anxiety. Your heart beats faster, and unless you calm yourself down, talking to people won't be possible.

4. You are ashamed of yourself. Your authentic self can't be expressed because it is blocked by the toxic shame you are experiencing when you are around people. That sense of toxic shame must be deconstructed.

The only way you can overcome those awful aspects of yourself is to bite the bullet and approach people.

You can start with small steps.

1. Before you interact with people, do hundreds of eye contact from a distance. It may seem creepy but you have to do it until you get used to it. I did it a lot and then that fear of making eye contact went away. I did it with women mostly.

2. Just say "Hi!" to people as you cross each other, then continue to move. Try to smile as you say 'Hello!' Do it hundreds of times.

3. You continue with 'Hi!' but you add an 'How are you?' Don't expect a conversation first. You just want to transcend those awful feelings of anxiety and feeling self-conscious. First, you must lower down the anxiety and all those awful feelings you experience.

Remember: small steps are enough. You are trying to lower down that anxiety --- that is the 1st thing that must be done. Then, do it for hours, daily. You get outside the house to practice for hours. Like 6 hours without pause --- daily.

Otherwise, you won't beat this awful anxiety.