Why does dating seem so easy and effortless for most people?

[Sufi25]

Why is it that most people get laid, date, have a girlfriend, marry in such an easy and effortless way that they don't even have to think about game, how to flirt, seduction etc. It all happens so natural for them. Dating is just a normal part of their lifes and it seems that they don't struggle in that domain. Other people have to move to a bigger city, learn all the theoretical foundation of dating, learn how to flirt, how to escalate, when to touch, when to kiss etc. They have to go to night clubs and bars on a regular basis, have to approach hundreds of girls just to get one lay. 

Most people have never done one cold approach in their entire life and they are in a relationship and have a good dating life.

What are most people doing right then, that they don't struggle with the domain of dating? 

[Yimpa]

There are people who are naturally very social. They would literally be in an existential crisis if they did not socialize on a regular basis. They can’t help but be social.

[Leo Gura]

1) Seems is the key word there.

2) Half the population are extroverts and naturally highly social, which basically solves this issue automatically for them.

3) Good looking people have it much easier.

4) Many people still struggle to date and have low sexual abundance.

5) Most people have quite low standards for who they are willing to date and sleep with, which makes it much easier.

6) Alcohol is like liquid game. What most people do instead of learning game is they just get drunk and let that be their game. Of course at great cost to health.

Edited June 22 by Leo Gura

[Evan Gill]

Being extroverted, social and charismatic are ultimately the keys to an abundant dating life. Those are probably the people you are seeing.

[Kid A]

1 hour ago, Sufi25 said:

Why is it that most people get laid, date, have a girlfriend, marry in such an easy and effortless way that they don't even have to think about game, how to flirt, seduction etc. It all happens so natural for them. Dating is just a normal part of their lifes and it seems that they don't struggle in that domain.

This is not the case anymore. 51% of American men who are 18-29 years old, are single today, and that number will probably continue to increase in the years to come. Boys haven’t been raised properly for the last 30+ years, neither by their parents or society, and now we see the consequences of it. Women don’t find todays men manly enough. This is a very sensitive topic, so it’s not easy to fix. I’ve been attacked on this forum for talking about it. Women who talk about it publicly probably receive death threats…

Edited June 22 by Kid A

[Heaven]

Experience.
Sleep with 10-50 girls and it will be easy.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDgV2AXC7Rc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIx-MfnA358

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQYbArgXM3g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6vfcXTgBdQ

https://www.girlschase.com/article/why-most-men-who-struggle-girls-do

https://www.girlschase.com/content/real-reason-many-men-cant-get-girl

 

Edited June 22 by Raze

[LastThursday]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

5) Most people have quite low standards for who they are willing to date and sleep with, which makes it much easier.

This.

Most people I've known have nearly an irrational need to be coupled up at any cost - so much so that they will impose their irrationality on the single people out there (me). I find women on balance need this more than men, but only marginally so. Literally every woman I've ever lusted after has been attached. Hang on a minute... I've just had a huge epiphany...! let me write this down before I forget.

[Sufi25]

@Leo Gura Thanks Leo. So you would say that not being social enough is the no.1 obstacle to getting laid/getting a gf? 

So that means, when ur not very social by nature, u have to push hard to become social? And if u have social disorders like Aspergers or Social Anxiety, then ur f*cked basically?

[Sufi25]

@Evan Gill so you have to turn yourself into that kind of person?

[Yimpa]

3 minutes ago, Sufi25 said:

@Evan Gill so you have to turn yourself into that kind of person?

No. You have to be on the same energy field. Being authentic is key.

[Leo Gura]

32 minutes ago, Sufi25 said:

@Leo Gura Thanks Leo. So you would say that not being social enough is the no.1 obstacle to getting laid/getting a gf?

Of course.

32 minutes ago, Sufi25 said:

So that means, when ur not very social by nature, u have to push hard to become social? And if u have social disorders like Aspergers or Social Anxiety, then ur f*cked basically?

Yes. But you're not fucked because you can do a lot to correct stuff like social anxiety.

Social anxiety is really just pure bullshit. You can overcome it entirely. It just takes work.

[eTorro]

4 hours ago, Sufi25 said:

Most people have never done one cold approach in their entire life and they are in a relationship and have a good dating life.

 

Because they grew up in relatively healthy families. They were socialized by their parents, and they continued to socialize in school or at parties. They weren't traumatized or abused. Your psyche can't help but learn how to communicate effectively when you spend lots of time with your peers. You become like the ones you hang out with.

But people who have social anxiety were toxically shamed. They were abused by being neglected in many ways or abandoned. They were not allowed to be themselves, nor encouraged to express themselves properly.

There's no such thing as "social anxiety." You developed defensive mechanisms that allowed you to survive the trauma you tragically experienced in early childhood.

You just have to talk to people a lot.

Edited June 22 by eTorro

[Sufi25]

@Leo Gura But talking to girls is more important than becoming more social in general right? 

 

If I have the opportunity to move to a bigger city, I should do it, right?

cause here where im livin, 70k people town, approaching is hard, night life is just minimum

im livin in germany, might move to Berlin

 

[eTorro]

3 hours ago, Kid A said:

This is not the case anymore. 51% of American men who are 18-29 years old, are single today, and that number will probably continue to increase in the years to come. Boys haven’t been raised properly for the last 30+ years, neither by their parents or society, and now we see the consequences of it. Women don’t find todays men manly enough. This is a very sensitive topic, so it’s not easy to fix. I’ve been attacked on this forum for talking about it. Women who talk about it publicly probably receive death threats…

True. What comes next is civilizational suicide because people no longer have kids. Birth rates are so low that there won't be a next generation to sustain technology and advance it. We won't have enough young people to continue the economy. Growth requires human labor. Demography matters. Demography is destiny.

Another thing about this hook-up culture is that casual sex does grave damage to society.

And sex is overrated. So, so overrated. But people continue to practice it, paradoxically. Sex is no longer used for procreation. Most people use sex to gratify themselves; they use it for pleasure.

As long as we don't correct course, YouTube won't exist in a few decades. We won't have airlines. BMW's. A stable infrastructure. And so on...

Edited June 22 by eTorro

[Yimpa]

It is important to respect a woman’s autonomy when you approach her.

[Yimpa]

4 minutes ago, eTorro said:

And sex is overrated. So, so overrated.

Absolutely effing not. Sex is a whole universe to explore! 

Many humans have shallow, meaningless sex.

[eTorro]

1 minute ago, Yimpa said:

Many humans have shallow, meaningless sex.

Sex keeps you stuck in a delusional state of emotionality, thoughts, instincts, and ultimately chemistry. And of course, it fuels the ego. It's never a viable option for experiencing lasting well-being. If you want to get enlightened, sex must be transcended. If people want true satisfaction in life, they must go beyond their mind/body. Sex is a trap that keeps people stuck in egoic loops — it doesn't work.

[Leo Gura]

22 minutes ago, Sufi25 said:

@Leo Gura But talking to girls is more important than becoming more social in general right? 

No. Becoming more social is more important.

Quote

If I have the opportunity to move to a bigger city, I should do it, right?

Depends on your goals and priorities.

If your goal is to get laid, yes.

Quote

cause here where im livin, 70k people town, approaching is hard, night life is just minimum

That situation is shit. Move.

Edited June 22 by Leo Gura

[universe]

Just because someone is not doing any cold approaches doesn't mean they are lazy.

Almost all activities humans do is to maximise their dating potential.

Some put on makeup, others go to the gym, others make money. The list goes on and on.

 

Other than that. Yes, it can be easy. It can be normal. Because it's natural for you to know how to date. You know that in your ancestors, every single one of the men could mate? So why shouldn't you?

Or the better question is, why should you?