How To Balance Self-development With Enlightenment Work?

[Wicked]

Hi,

recently I got more and more interested in enlightenment work. It interests me deeply. I come to my first realizations, but enlightenment work takes more and more time. I don't want to reject self development, but sometimes when I work on myself I feel that I am lying to myself. Because there is no real self, there is only awareness. I am 20 yo and don't want to settle only on enlightenment work. I want to have cool ass job, make my dreams come true, etc. Maybe I want to make enlightenment work my priority, but I don't want to leave all self - development stuff. I think it's useful. But also I don't want to strengthen the belief, that I am the ego, which self-development seems to do. What's your opinion on it?

Thanks!

[Wicked]

That I know... I am just conflicted and I don't know how to solve it.

[Wicked]

I am just afraid my self development work will work against my enlightenment work. And the other way round too.