Realising the infinite dream (awakening) - trip report

[Camerong]

I've never made a post on here but I had to share this report as it's one of the most profound experiences of my life 

Background - I have been curious about the nature of reality since the age of 5. When I came across leo in 2016 the info resonated. In 2017 I had my first awakening sober. It was an epiphany into realising I am the whole immortal universe looking through my eyes and I was never the ego.

2019 I started getting into psyches. I tripped a lot and eventually stopped watching leo as much. I have had probably over 150 psychedelic experiences by now as sometimes I found I'd like to trip recreationally and also microdose.

Recently -

My focus in recent years was more on my actual life rather than spiritual. I ordered some microdose pills after a year of being sober from any kind of drug and never planned on tripping. I found them to be helpful from time to time to pick me up and help me stay motivated. To my suprise they where very strong and one pill was the strengh of more than a gram. Just last night i really went back and fourth on having a full trip. Whenever I tried to tell myself they where just for microdosing a voice would tell me "where has your child like curiosity is gone? you used to love tripping!" Eventually I caved and decided it was time for another and to go all out. I took 6 pills and smoked a joint and approached the experience with wonder like i was young again and just started.

TRIP REPORT -

As it started to come on I immediately let go and opened myself to embrace what was to come with wonder. From past experience I have learnt how to feel the feeling that this is gonna be a good trip. Not something you can force but a feeling you dance yourself into as you surf the waves of consciousness.

I had an intuition that was strong to walk across town at night a few miles to a park with a lake. This didn't feel safe as I was only an hour in at this point and was completely losing grasp on reality yet I felt the oneness of everything ensuring me that i would be safe if i didn't cave into fear and had faith in myself as the whole universe.

I started walking and something incredibly weird happened. I saw a man walking near me going down the street in front of me and I coward in fear to turn back but yet something communicated with me and told me I need to carry on and confront my fear to realise that there is no fear and trust my gut. I went down a different ally way and came across the same man and walked past him like i somehow new I would. The crazy part is that there where many different streets this man could have walked down and I walked around a whole block to avoid him and yet still walked past him. Almost as if the universe was directly guiding me to confront what I was supposed to, like i was connected to some level of omnicience and in synch with a higher more infinite mind connected to everything. At this point I knew I could trust my faith in whatever was guiding me. My intuition was unquestionable and i felt calm. 

Just past an hour in I started to feel like I was connected to other bubbles of consciousness like the individual consciousnesses of everyone I knew eventually realising everyone is part of one consciousness like an akoshic library (this opened my mind to the possibility of telepathy) 

This was an odd trip as it had 2 peaks. 

I reached the first peak an hour and 15 mins in. This was one of the most profound shocking moments of my life. As i was walking up this long road all separation ceased and I saw everything as one entity. Me. Consciousness. God. It was all conscious and alive and one being. I walked with utter shock that this was all a dream. No different than sleeping at night. It was all a dream! A dream that I was layers and layers and layers and LAYERS stuck in; when in my sober state. I once came slightly close to this realisation in the past and freaked out having a traumatic nightmare of a trip but since by this time I have had enough experience with exploring consciousness I manage to turn what would cause an inexperienced person to have a mental breakdown into an incredibly awesome and peaceful experience; embracing the fact that this is a dream. In fact this understanding helped me because I was aware with the intensity of this peak that it could snap into a million different nightmares at any second, but being aware that this was a dream gave me a feeling of lucidity that I could control with ease. I had a feeling of infinite power I have never experience in my life. I can't stress enough that this experience was indistinguishable from a lucid dream (just felt more real) and absolutely undeniable that this is the nature of consciousness. 

This experience opened my mind to the idea of conscious manifestation. Something implausible from a sober state but impossible not to be possible from this state. This also resonated with neville goddards work which I recently have been getting into. 

This peak gave me insight into my own life and made me aware that in my sober life ive been going around like a hamster on a wheel trapped in the labyrinth of this dream without being aware of it and that the ultimate way out would be to change my identity and entire belief system in my sober state in order to progress foward in life; as your subconscious mind is the ultimate operating system and keeps you in the same type of dream out of many different dreams/life's you can live. The insight here is that your subconscious is a deep iceberg that is directly connected to the dream/life you're experiencing, but to many degrees more than what is described in many books. 

As this trip progressed to the second peak; this song came on, on my head phones that reminded me of this girl from the past. I felt an ocean of many intense emotions I still had for her and then was blown away by awakening to the fact that I created her perfectly, in fact I realised I created everyone and everything in my life perfectly, including my parents and myself and I did so out of pure love. (I'm even tearing up as I'm writting this) my heart burst out into waves of intense love and I tried not to make a mess of myself balling my eyes out walking the streets at half 1 at night. The feeling of love and awe almost knocked me off my feet. 

I realised that reality is nothing but states of consciousness, and that sulotions, answers and manifestations can only be accomplished through a certain state of consciousness first. With this insight i felt infinite power to create and manifest everything and anything i ever wanted, yet had too much love for everything to change anything dispite being stuck in a rut and dissatisfied with my sober life. (Of course a sober life sounded ridiculous form this state)

As the 2nd peak hit the visuals became very intense and time slowed to feel like I was walking for centuries. Everything became loosy goosy with wacky hallucinations like a dreamy wonderland, I had a desire to dance to the music playing in my headphones. To celebrate the infinity that I am, and explore many imaginary versions of myself that I could choose from. I felt like I was in complete god mode but that I was always in god mode just asleep to it in other states. This part of the trip was fun and somewhat recreational. 

After I while I realised I didn't have water with me and was convinced that I was dying of first even though i drank a gallon before I set off. It was miles away from my home and I lost concept of distance so I started getting pulled into an intense thought loop that I was gonna die due to thirst mid trip. This ended when I realised I was one with god and to trust in god, and as I did all my anxiety melted away and I somehow didn't feel as thirsty. This gave me clear insight into letting go of fear and trusting intuitively in faith. 

As I got to the park where I planned to go it was like my entire reality had changed though not for the better or worse I still felt euphoric. It was a change in scenery so different from the streets I felt id entered another diemention. The sun was rising also. 

I noticed that the trees and the lake had the presence of a women and then had insight into the masculine feminine duality of reality or consciousness. The sunrise over the lake and trees was the most jawdropping beauty I had ever seen. The reflection of the lake felt like another entire cosmos in reverse going on for another infinity (maybe it is) everything was orchestrated in the most intelligent and elegant way possible like god is a master artist. 

I kept seeing reality from multiple perspectives at once only to realise that reality can be perceived from an infinity of perspectives. I was staggered by the absolute infinity of all of reality/consciousness.

I left the park after what felt like an eternity only to realise I was only 2 hours in which was another mindfuck in it of itself. 

I heard an attractive female voice on the song playing and realised that everything in the universe is composed of different vibrations and frequencies that work to created this well orchestrated universe we live in. (I've heard this said before many times but now it's obvious) I realised that maybe law of attraction people are on to something because everything is vibration. The reason you find things / people attractive and other things / people repulsive is because theyre vibration either resonates or doesnt with yours. Like a man vibrating masculine energy is attracted to a women vibrating feminine energy and vice versa, and that its possible to alter your own vibration and change what you attract. 

I don't want to keep going on because there where too many micro insights, but after this 2 hour and a half mark the trip started to comedown and thoughts of my ego started to come back. I guess I was going back into the dream. As i did though i had my face smeared into all the parts about myself that I didn't want to look at. It was so bad it almost made me wanna move town and start a new life. Obvioisly not gonna make any rash decisions as of yet. Today I am left with much to integrate from this behemoth of a trip and still feel very emotional. I guess what im left with to go on is to let go of all the resistance and thoughts holding me back and embrace the love that the universe is naturally vibrating at and is always being thrown everyones way just everyone is too blind and caught up in their own traumas insecurities and subconscious programming to see it so we all block it out and carry on causing problems. 

That's all for now if anyone has made it this far and is reading this thanks for taking the time and much love...

 

 

[Leo Gura]

Excellent! You got it.

[Evan Gill]

Very enjoyable read

[Davino]

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

Whenever I tried to tell myself they where just for microdosing a voice would tell me "where has your child like curiosity is gone? you used to love tripping!"

God¡'s whisper

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

Eventually I caved and decided it was time for another and to go all out. I took 6 pills and smoked a joint and approached the experience with wonder like i was young again and just started.

Lmao

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

As it started to come on I immediately let go and opened myself to embrace what was to come with wonder. From past experience I have learnt how to feel the feeling that this is gonna be a good trip. Not something you can force but a feeling you dance yourself into as you surf the waves of consciousness.

OU, yeah sweet start

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

I had an intuition that was strong to walk across town at night a few miles to a park with a lake. This didn't feel safe as I was only an hour in at this point and was completely losing grasp on reality yet I felt the oneness of everything ensuring me that i would be safe if i didn't cave into fear and had faith in myself as the whole universe.

Universal whisper

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

I started walking and something incredibly weird happened. I saw a man walking near me going down the street in front of me and I coward in fear to turn back but yet something communicated with me and told me I need to carry on and confront my fear to realise that there is no fear and trust my gut.

Yeah, fear of other

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

I went down a different ally way and came across the same man and walked past him like i somehow new I would.

Trippy shit

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

Almost as if the universe was directly guiding me to confront what I was supposed to, like i was connected to some level of omnicience and in synch with a higher more infinite mind connected to everything.

Mood

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

At this point I knew I could trust my faith in whatever was guiding me. My intuition was unquestionable and i felt calm. 

Wise

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

Just past an hour in I started to feel like I was connected to other bubbles of consciousness like the individual consciousnesses of everyone I knew eventually realising everyone is part of one consciousness like an akoshic library

Yes! Grid like, Tapestry interconnection, A Divine Tessellations

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

(this opened my mind to the possibility of telepathy) 

It is so, That's why

Awakenings inside awakenings 

Consciousness is the ultime Internet

The One Interconnection

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

This was an odd trip as it had 2 peaks. 

Psychedelics usually come in waves

That's their inner workings

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

This experience opened my mind to the idea of conscious manifestation. Something implausible from a sober state but impossible not to be possible from this state.

Your tentacles have infinite reach

They create as they stretch

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

This peak gave me insight into my own life and made me aware that in my sober life ive been going around like a hamster on a wheel trapped in the labyrinth of this dream without being aware of it and that the ultimate way out would be to change my identity and entire belief system in my sober state in order to progress foward in life;

Integration is huge. As your trips keep getting more radical, human maturation needs to go hynd by hand

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

As this trip progressed to the second peak; this song came on, on my head phones that reminded me of this girl from the past. I felt an ocean of many intense emotions I still had for her and then was blown away by awakening to the fact that I created her perfectly, in fact I realised I created everyone and everything in my life perfectly, including my parents and myself and I did so out of pure love. (I'm even tearing up as I'm writting this) my heart burst out into waves of intense love and I tried not to make a mess of myself balling my eyes out walking the streets at half 1 at night. The feeling of love and awe almost knocked me off my feet. 

WOW!

Imagination and Love Awakening at the same time

Haven't gotten that one yet

Lucky you!

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

I felt like I was in complete god mode but that I was always in god mode just asleep to it in other states.

I also say so

It's strange how what I truly am can be so easily forgotten, while being always aleady it

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

After I while I realised I didn't have water with me and was convinced that I was dying of first even though i drank a gallon before I set off. It was miles away from my home and I lost concept of distance so I started getting pulled into an intense thought loop that I was gonna die due to thirst mid trip

Yeah, also happened to me a few times

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

As I got to the park where I planned to go it was like my entire reality had changed though not for the better or worse I still felt euphoric. It was a change in scenery so different from the streets I felt id entered another diemention. The sun was rising also. 

Yes, so beautifully said!

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

I noticed that the trees and the lake had the presence of a women and then had insight into the masculine feminine duality of reality or consciousness. The sunrise over the lake and trees was the most jawdropping beauty I had ever seen. The reflection of the lake felt like another entire cosmos in reverse going on for another infinity (maybe it is) everything was orchestrated in the most intelligent and elegant way possible like god is a master artist. 

Wow man

What a Trip!

It's rare to get so many insights and awakenings from different facets.

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

I kept seeing reality from multiple perspectives at once only to realise that reality can be perceived from an infinity of perspectives. I was staggered by the absolute infinity of all of reality/consciousness.

Yes, God is Infinity of POV

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

I don't want to keep going on because there where too many micro insights,

It's amazing your deep cognition and rememberance of them honestly

When I'm tripping and having dozens of insights some slip out

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

As i did though i had my face smeared into all the parts about myself that I didn't want to look at.

The ego hang over!

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

It was so bad it almost made me wanna move town and start a new life. Obvioisly not gonna make any rash decisions as of yet.

It's good practice to take 2 weeks after a radical trip before taking any radical decisions towards one's life.

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

Today I am left with much to integrate from this behemoth of a trip and still feel very emotional. I guess what im left with to go on is to let go of all the resistance and thoughts holding me back

Yes the next few days still things will come up

Trust the process

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

embrace the love that the universe is naturally vibrating at and is always being thrown everyones way just everyone is too blind and caught up in their own traumas insecurities and subconscious programming to see it so we all block it out and carry on causing problems. 

Yes, in this sin I am the first

We are all devils at the end of the day

We have to love all of our selves. Embrace our difficulties and inner shit

In Loving there is peace and maturation

2 hours ago, Camerong said:

That's all for now if anyone has made it this far and is reading this thanks for taking the time and much love...

Welcome to The Forum @Camerong 

I'm happy you decided to open an account. I really enjoyed getting to know you and genuinly happy to have you here. Hope to have some interesting conversations with you in the future.

Edited June 22 by Davino

[Camerong]

@Davino 

Keep in mind ive had close to 200 trips in the past. Though a minority are very large doses. If I was to go through all the profound experience ive had Id be here for a while. Ive had a lot of these awakenings before but not to the same degree. The reason why this trip is so profound is because it was built of off many other trips and realisations (also having weed, although not a psychedelic; definitely amplified the experience and I find synergies very well with shrooms). This trip felt deeper like a sum total of all my previous trips into an explosion of insight and awakenings deeper than before. I doubt many would come close to this level on their first ever shroom trip. I know I definitely didn't. It also took many years of integration, contemplation and reconstructing my world view many times. Either way I appreciate the breakdown and the read from you my friend 👌👍

[Leo Gura]

12 minutes ago, Camerong said:

The reason why this trip is so profound is because it was built of off many other trips and realisations... This trip felt deeper like a sum total of all my previous trips into an explosion of insight and awakenings deeper than before.

That's exactly right.

And you can have even deeper, even fuller God-Realizations.

[maxpechura]

For those who are too lazy to read, the audio version of the report is attached.

The audio is narrated by an AI-generated British voice to make it closer to the source.

Realising-the-infinite-dream-awa.mp3

[Yimpa]

17 minutes ago, maxpechura said:

the audio version of the report is attached.

The audio is narrated by an AI-generated British voice to make it closer to the source.

Realising-the-infinite-dream-awa.mp3

Hey, how did you do that!

[maxpechura]

It's a service from OpenAI.
But you need a little of programming skill to use that particular service.
There are others that do the same job but they offer it through apps on your phone or a convenient self-service website.
You'll need to google "text to speech" and see what works for you. The services with realistic voices are paid, though. It's not much but they are not free.

Edited June 22 by maxpechura

[Jowblob]

Big respect for your courageousness, i think all members should learn from this braveness. Walking in the streets while being in such a state is mind blowing.

[Jehovah increases]

Nice trip report. You should all be just as proud of your experience and the fears you faced and overcame on your trips. As for my experiences, I was wrong.

[Peo]

13 hours ago, Camerong said:

microdose pills

What pills? LSD, shrooms, dmt?

[Peo]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

And you can have even deeper, even fuller God-Realizations

Does this happen after many trips, or is it dose dependent?

[Camerong]

25 minutes ago, Peo said:

What pills? LSD, shrooms, dmt?

Mushrooms 

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Peo said:

Does this happen after many trips, or is it dose dependent?

It more depends on prior history of trips and accumulation of insight and connecting of dots in your mind over many years.

Your mind gradually makes deeper and deeper sense of Consciousness/God over the years, which enables deeper awakenings. You piece together more and more facets, allowing you to see the full diamond of Consciousness.

Edited June 22 by Leo Gura

[Girzo]

My trips lately are all about understanding society. While in the beginning they were very spiritual. I guess it's a function of dose. If I have exhausted the insight in one domain possible at a certain level of intenisty of a trip, then the mind goes somewhere else.

[PenguinPablo]

3 hours ago, Girzo said:

My trips lately are all about understanding society. While in the beginning they were very spiritual. I guess it's a function of dose. If I have exhausted the insight in one domain possible at a certain level of intenisty of a trip, then the mind goes somewhere else.

your are becoming a philosopher

[shree]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It more depends on prior history of trips and accumulation of insight and connecting of dots in your mind over many years.

Your mind gradually makes deeper and deeper sense of Consciousness/God over the years, which enables deeper awakenings. You piece together more and more facets, allowing you to see the full diamond of Consciousness.

I

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 

I suppose that's the reason why even typically visual psychedelics give me very radical, clean, non-visual trips.

I had approximately 10 breakthroughs on 5-MeO-DMT before trying LSD and 4-ACO-DMT.

[ZenSwift]

@Leo Gura

I'm wondering, how much of this stuff are you conscious of while completely sober? 

 

Personally I've been accessing various states of consciousness, but I'm not accessing most of this stuff sober, at least not yet. 

 

It's pretty obvious that some of these things you're never going to have permenant access to. And I'm aware that you're limited by your personal brain chemistry. But I'm curious as to what Leo has accomplished.