Self-discipline, studying problems

[Davidess]

I'm a med student and I have an oral exam (from histology and embryology) in 6 days. The exam consists of 150 questions, from which I draw 3 (almost every question is A4 page long). The problem is that even though I want to study consciously, I hold a belief "No matter what I do, it never turns out for me". My average is studying 6 hours/day this week (it's better than it was), but I can study longer and it’s necessary. Even if I try to study, I experience enormous resistance in my mind after few hours (btw I take breaks). This resistance is emotional, it’s not that I’m exhausted. It's more like I'm unwilling to study.

 

I'm retaking this exam from winter semester, because the same thing happened in winter (I didn't study in winter, because of this belief). I should have done all my summer semester exams by now (biochemistry, physiology, immunology), but I'm stuck with histology. I postponed my summer semester exams into august.

 

This belief was mentioned in Teal Swan’s video about self-discipline. And I recognize having this belief. What do I do to change it? Acting like I don't have this belief doesn't help. What I feel like should be done is to change this belief at the level of mind first, not acting differently. Anyone got ideas? I'd be really thankful.

Edit: It may look like a contradiction that I study 6 hours a day and I complain, but I feel like I need to use so much willpower to study because of this belief.

Edited June 21 by Davidess

[Basman]

 

[Davidess]

Thank you

[quantumspiral]

It may sound cliché, but you need to focus on the process and stay in the present moment.

All you can do is study the material- keep your focus on this and you'll find your resistance melts away naturally.

Your attachment to a particular kind of result in your exam (and in particular, your belief you won't pass it) is the source of the resistance.

Detach from the outcome as much as you can muster.

[quantumspiral]

Sports / performance psychology is very useful to study here.

Some books I'd recommend are:

The Practicing Mind: Developing Focus and Discipline in Your Life - Master Any Skill or Challenge by Learning to Love the Process
Life as Sport: What Top Athletes Can Teach You about How to Win in Life

If you can develop this process / present orientation towards your entire life, it will be transformative.

In my opinion, this is very tangible & practical benefit of meditation that isn't brought up enough. For those who are just handling their fundamentals, it will serve them much more purpose than enlightenment or even just consciously trying to move up the spiral.

[quantumspiral]

Here's a quote I like from Jonathan Faber (author of Life as Sport):

In order to get them into a game mentally and to help them let go of the outcome, I encourage my clients to adopt the mentality of an ancient warrior. We succeed when we can act freely, when we do not allow fear to rule our actions, judgment, or our state of mind. The ancient Japanese warriors, the Samurai, went into battle with a complete acceptance of the possibility of dying. Their demise was of no concern; their focus was singular: to give their all in battle, to live in that moment. Neither victory nor defeat had any meaning, only the performance of one’s duty to the best of one’s ability