I am afraid to love

[Dodo]

I wondered which section this needs to be posted in, mods if there is a better section, just move it for me please. 

I am completely afraid to love. Out of fear of the loss that could follow. If I trully love someone, a woman, i am completely vulnerable. She can break me, emotionally and spiritually with her actions. Or if I lose her, I would suffer immensely. 

As a child I had a pet rooster in my village. I loved that thing. He was not afraid of me whatsoever. All the other chickens run at my sight, but he would just stand there and look at me like I'm stupid. 

I never once thought about him dying. I told my grandmother he is off limits for cooking. Then one day he disappeared. I saw white fethers in the pig's section. They had eaten him. He somehow got to their enclosure and they ate him. I was so angry, I ran after the pigs and followed them to where they were hiding, trying to hurt them.

My best friend was gone. I would let him into the wider garden every day, knowing he will always return by himself at the end of the day. He lived a heavenly life as a rooster not many would dream of. He was even eating my grandmother's tomatoes! 

On a tanget:

I think that rooster was enlightened, like Ramana Maharshi's cow. 

I trully believe all living beings are far more emotionally intelligent than we assume at first,  they only seem wild to us and fearful, because thats the only way they survived with the human so far.

Notice the Dodos were like my pet rooster. They weren't afraid of Humans, they were the perfect pets. And Human ate them, even though their meat was sour and dry, not tasty at all. It was an easy pray. 

 

 

Tldr: If I love this human, how much sadness there will be when it is gone? Talking both about loving another person, but also My person.

[Javfly33]

Don´t worry, Love is a quality you can produce within yourself. 

Attachment is another thing can hurt long term when you lose the object/person/animal you attach yourself to.

 

Since you were using pet rooster as a means to produce love-feelings within you, when you don´t have it you become devastated.

Is the same way with a romantic partner, if it becomes your source of good-feelings, when you lose it you are devastated. 

 

So the conclusion is, discover that you are that unlimitated being that can hold all beings and therefore it holds the quality of Love. 

 

You should not scared of actual Love, because that will empower you in big ways. You should be scared of attaching yourself to anything as a means of expecting anything to be your source of well being or love, because that will you lose it at some point. 

 

[An young being]

It might be the fear that love will disappear when the loving object is gone, but you have the capability to always love no matter what happens. And the universe always loves you back even if you are all alone.

Edited June 20 by An young being

[Dodo]

16 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Don´t worry, Love is a quality you can produce within yourself. 

Attachment is another thing can hurt long term when you lose the object/person/animal you attach yourself to.

 

Since you were using pet rooster as a means to produce love-feelings within you, when you don´t have it you become devastated.

Is the same way with a romantic partner, if it becomes your source of good-feelings, when you lose it you are devastated. 

 

So the conclusion is, discover that you are that unlimitated being that can hold all beings and therefore it holds the quality of Love. 

 

You should not scared of actual Love, because that will empower you in big ways. You should be scared of attaching yourself to anything as a means of expecting anything to be your source of well being or love, because that will you lose it at some point. 

 

I was a child back then with my rooster. I wasn't using the pet rooster as means to create love feelings come on... you didnt understand at all. I loved that thing for real. 

Ofcourse if you love someone or something you will mourn when they're gone. I went very mental on the pigs, even though they were big and a bit scary, I wanted to kill them for what they did. 

[Javfly33]

53 minutes ago, Dodo said:

I was a child back then with my rooster. I wasn't using the pet rooster as means to create love feelings come on... you didnt understand at all. I loved that thing for real. 

Ofcourse if you love someone or something you will mourn when they're gone. I went very mental on the pigs, even though they were big and a bit scary, I wanted to kill them for what they did. 

Ok, sorry. I Did not understand.

Did you wanted me to applaud your suffering instead? 🤔

What is the purpose of your topic? 

[Dodo]

On 21/06/2024 at 8:27 AM, Javfly33 said:

Ok, sorry. I Did not understand.

Did you wanted me to applaud your suffering instead? 🤔

What is the purpose of your topic? 

Emotional intelligence needed

[Rafael Thundercat]

On 20/06/2024 at 1:18 PM, Dodo said:

I think that rooster was enlightened, like Ramana Maharshi's cow. 

I just ate an eligthnened master Yeasterday. Ko,ko,ko,ko..

[Dodo]

On 23/06/2024 at 10:09 AM, Rafael Thundercat said:

I just ate an eligthnened master Yeasterday. Ko,ko,ko,ko..

ye im not sayin all of em, you probably ate some egoic motherfucker

[Breakingthewall]

On 20/6/2024 at 2:18 PM, Dodo said:

If I trully love someone, a woman, i am completely vulnerable. She can break me, emotionally and spiritually with her actions.

And she will do, because all of them are toxic crazy insecure beings. To love a woman you have to be hard, put her in her place, respect you as a god😅. Then you have to respect yourself as a god, be clean, strong and complete. So, you are right in your fear. They are going to break you.

[Yimpa]

@Lila9 hey, I love your new profile pic 

[Keryo Koffa]

@Dodo All life is sacred and its unfortunate how you lost your pet rooster. His life was cut short, but you made his time special. The bonds we form cause excruciating pain, you give the greatest meaning. Yet death is not the end but a change of form, see this world not as inevitable pain but instead the opportunity to form connections. In the grand scheme of things, this is necessary for us to experience, if we remained at any one, we'd never get to the next and all those moments we now have made. You carry on and the rooster took on a new life, trust me, being human forever would limit your experience and so would being a rooster, death is inevitable but it doesn't mean the end of existence, nor of individuality, instead an expansion.

Now as for creating human connections, you determine your worth and how you react, why would you attach yourself to someone who doesn't value you? Why would you give them power? You can love someone that hates you, but don't let them inform who you are. You don't wanna fall in the trap of living with someone who projects their suffering onto you, who controls and manipulates you, who doesn't value nor love who you are. You will quickly realize how people act, that you are never the problem, that there's a complex projection of needs from those who learned to manipulate. And also that there are those who will love you for who you are, who you'll enjoy being around, those you can share your passions and sorrows with. Those who will add to your life. You will have to accept that you can lose them and that there is nothing you can do to save them from death. But also that we all die eventually and that you will enrich each other's lives immensely and that you will continue to experience after death and to let go of the attachment and celebrate the freedom. This earth is a short stay, treat it as such and make those most profound experiences. 

What's important is that you realize your own innate worth, that nobody but you informs your value, that you are allowed to express yourself freely, that your identity does not depend upon your environment, that you act as if you were the only person on earth, without shame, without restriction, with empathy and with passion. That you conquer the fear of death and to see others die and then you will be ready and when you dissipate both fear and anger, then you can truly love and allow yourself to be loved and create a meaningful relationship that adds to each other's life.

[Dodo]

On 27/06/2024 at 1:36 AM, Keryo Koffa said:

@Dodo All life is sacred and its unfortunate how you lost your pet rooster. His life was cut short, but you made his time special. The bonds we form cause excruciating pain, you give the greatest meaning. Yet death is not the end but a change of form, see this world not as inevitable pain but instead the opportunity to form connections. In the grand scheme of things, this is necessary for us to experience, if we remained at any one, we'd never get to the next and all those moments we now have made. You carry on and the rooster took on a new life, trust me, being human forever would limit your experience and so would being a rooster, death is inevitable but it doesn't mean the end of existence, nor of individuality, instead an expansion.

Now as for creating human connections, you determine your worth and how you react, why would you attach yourself to someone who doesn't value you? Why would you give them power? You can love someone that hates you, but don't let them inform who you are. You don't wanna fall in the trap of living with someone who projects their suffering onto you, who controls and manipulates you, who doesn't value nor love who you are. You will quickly realize how people act, that you are never the problem, that there's a complex projection of needs from those who learned to manipulate. And also that there are those who will love you for who you are, who you'll enjoy being around, those you can share your passions and sorrows with. Those who will add to your life. You will have to accept that you can lose them and that there is nothing you can do to save them from death. But also that we all die eventually and that you will enrich each other's lives immensely and that you will continue to experience after death and to let go of the attachment and celebrate the freedom. This earth is a short stay, treat it as such and make those most profound experiences. 

What's important is that you realize your own innate worth, that nobody but you informs your value, that you are allowed to express yourself freely, that your identity does not depend upon your environment, that you act as if you were the only person on earth, without shame, without restriction, with empathy and with passion. That you conquer the fear of death and to see others die and then you will be ready and when you dissipate both fear and anger, then you can truly love and allow yourself to be loved and create a meaningful relationship that adds to each other's life.

Thank you for spending time writing this out, very insightful

 

 

Edited June 28 by Dodo

[Javfly33]

On 23/06/2024 at 11:04 AM, Dodo said:

Emotional intelligence needed

You say you need emotional intelligence yet you are scared of Love.

So is that really working for you? 

[Davino]

Real Love is Scary

Love is Radical

It's egoless while loving ego

[Dodo]

2 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

You say you need emotional intelligence yet you are scared of Love.

So is that really working for you? 

I am emotionally crippled and know it, but you failed to understand the emotional charge of my post,  so have to clue you in, you might be emotionally crippled as well

[Keryo Koffa]

22 minutes ago, Dodo said:

I am emotionally crippled and know it, but you failed to understand the emotional charge of my post,  so have to clue you in, you might be emotionally crippled as well

Love has many forms and many understandings. Many turn to universal love, since it causes less pain by means of detachment from any particular outcome. But the pain of really caring about the wellbeing of a particular life is an expression of massive intensity of love. Though that intensity in itself can become detrimental to one's ability to engage in life and express it. There are also many lessons to be learned about the innate need for autonomy of every individual and about possible personal biases and projections upon another from oneself and there is much to be said about loving oneself before one can properly love another, Leo has great videos on all that

@Javfly33 @DodoI want you two to watch the following video, specifically 16:39 - 17:56 and then continue

 

Edited June 28 by Keryo Koffa

[Dodo]

@Keryo Koffa is it possible that some aspects of infinity have forgotten the Absolute truth of infinite love consciousness, and act unconsciously and against Love, can we really call those aspects love? I understand why Love would let them be, because they are its Children, but I'm also sure it has ways to teach them what they forgot.

I don't  like the explanation where evil is justified under the name of Love. Yesnits part of it, but it acts against it. It (evil) can be redeemed, in my opinion, everyone can turn from evil to Good.

We say I am you etc, but Sometimes there are people so evil, I look at them and say, that right there can't  be me. Asleep love may be love potential, but its not Love yet. Idk if I make sense, sorry. 

Otherwise yes the video was a great watch. 

Edited June 28 by Dodo

[Keryo Koffa]

@Dodo Everyone acts to the best of their ability and in pursuit of love, the problem is unconsciousness, to blend out or justify suffering and harm because in pursuit of a separate source of love. Think back to what you wanted to do to those pigs. Unconsciousness creates violence and violence breeds violence. There are many ways harm is brought about and it originates from various aspects like Ignorance, Stubbornness, Bitterness, Revenge, Resentment, Rebellion, Freedom, Purpose, Meaning and desire for Autonomy, which can be misinformed or misguided, though all that is a vast layer of interpretation since we are not absolutely conscious of all aspects of reality. Stepping on an ant, car accidents, bad experiences and various psychological states and conditioning. It's a vast ocean

[Chadders]

@Dodo I recently had an insight on love

The key issue is a fear of rejection. Rejection is ultimately the felt experience of the ego. What it means to us personally as an identity if someone says no. How we reconcile that with ourselves in other words

But the expression of true love and affection for someone needs no reciprocation. To express love for someone honestly and authentically is a reward in and of itself. Why? Because it feels good to be authentically and unashamedly true to your emotions, but also because it makes the person in receipt of that love feel good, even if they say no. It doesn’t matter

To be able to express love in your own unique way without the need for positive reciprocation is not easy. I believe it’s on a spectrum unless you are in a very conscious place. There will always be a percentage of you that is expressing love for someone with the hope of positive reciprocation, but the aim is to lower that percentage as much as you can so it is from a place of purity. 

This is where I believe your own state is EVERYTHING. When you are in a high state you will not care about rejection so much and will love with more purity. Of course with a low state your ego starts calling the shots and needs that validation 

[Rafael Thundercat]

@Dodo