I am afraid to love

[Dodo]

I wondered which section this needs to be posted in, mods if there is a better section, just move it for me please. 

I am completely afraid to love. Out of fear of the loss that could follow. If I trully love someone, a woman, i am completely vulnerable. She can break me, emotionally and spiritually with her actions. Or if I lose her, I would suffer immensely. 

As a child I had a pet rooster in my village. I loved that thing. He was not afraid of me whatsoever. All the other chickens run at my sight, but he would just stand there and look at me like I'm stupid. 

I never once thought about him dying. I told my grandmother he is off limits for cooking. Then one day he disappeared. I saw white fethers in the pig's section. They had eaten him. He somehow got to their enclosure and they ate him. I was so angry, I ran after the pigs and followed them to where they were hiding, trying to hurt them.

My best friend was gone. I would let him into the wider garden every day, knowing he will always return by himself at the end of the day. He lived a heavenly life as a rooster not many would dream of. He was even eating my grandmother's tomatoes! 

On a tanget:

I think that rooster was enlightened, like Ramana Maharshi's cow. 

I trully believe all living beings are far more emotionally intelligent than we assume at first,  they only seem wild to us and fearful, because thats the only way they survived with the human so far.

Notice the Dodos were like my pet rooster. They weren't afraid of Humans, they were the perfect pets. And Human ate them, even though their meat was sour and dry, not tasty at all. It was an easy pray. 

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Tldr: If I love this human, how much sadness there will be when it is gone?