The scary side and the pure light

[Breakingthewall]

awakening really is terrifying. Everyone wants to awake to be at home, but when you see your house your blood will freeze in your veins. Your house is total infinity, absolute emptiness. There is absolutely nothing, it is a bottomless abyss.

but there is something, there is your heart there, and from it love springs. It's hidden, but it's obvious. 

From nothing, from absolute infinite emptiness, an illusion is created, it seems like a silly trick to have fun, a stupidity to escape from the nihilism of absolute emptiness without any meaning, but if you penetrate into it, you will see that it is made of a sacred substance called love.  form the depth of nothingness love springs, all form is love, and form is, because love is. It is not an illusion, it is the open heart of the infinite, which is a source of infinite love. It is the miracle of existence, it is the total light that opens and blinds you, and looks you directly in the face and then you merge with it because you are that. That is the pure light of the existence.

Then, in a moment , you are not merged anymore, then you start thinking, and you are out. That's life. But the light is always there, now you know the secret of existence, it's absolutely simple. 

Edited June 19 by Breakingthewall

[Chadders]

@Breakingthewall sounds like an amazing blessed experience. I hope to awaken like this some day but not ready for the god realisation stuff. It is not my time yet

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Chadders said:

@Breakingthewall sounds like an amazing blessed experience. I hope to awaken like this some day but not ready for the god realisation stuff. It is not my time yet

1 hour ago, Chadders said:

@Breakingthewall 

Absolutely simple and obvious, but so easy to forget. I'm already forgetting right now, a while after. 

[Water by the River]

1 : 0 for "Breaking"

0 : 1 for "thewall"

Enjoy grilling the rest of thewall 

And also a beer & grilling during the European Football Championship if you are so inclined.

 

PS: Dont do it like shown below. As you write correctly, the two-legged-show also must be smashed/transcended. Together with the wall. Doing it like Buster Keaton could lead to something like a "God-Realization-er" remaining after thewall (duality) has been dropped.

 

[Breakingthewall]

I didn't forgot. This that I explained above is enlightenment. There is no more, that is everything. you have to purify your being enough for reality to open up. Any speculation, such as infinite, eternal, what others are, what suffering is, there is reincarnation, what death is, etc., is absolutely irrelevant. The only relevant thing is that what reality is, and it must reveal itself. It is a revelation that reality gives. It opens and shows itself in its full glory. There is nothing more to know, it is absolutely simple, absolutely total. Replace your psychological landscape with the pure light of reality.

Edited June 20 by Breakingthewall

[Breakingthewall]

13 minutes ago, Water by the River said:

Dont do it like shown below. As you write correctly, the two-legged-show also must be smashed/transcended. Together with the wall

What do you mean with the two legged show? All the human attachment?

[Water by the River]

10 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

What do you mean with the two legged show? All the human attachment?

Beliefing in being "only" the two legged show. I/me/mine-thought/feeling arisings which are not seen through/transcend/cut-off in real-time.

"One" has a human appearing in onself, but isn't one. Infinite Being/Reality.

[Breakingthewall]

3 hours ago, Water by the River said:

Beliefing in being "only" the two legged show. I/me/mine-thought/feeling arisings which are not seen through/transcend/cut-off in real-time.

"One" has a human appearing in onself, but isn't one. Infinite Being/Reality.

4 hours ago, Water by the River said:

 

Yeah, if you are breaking the limits seems quite nonsense breaking all limits except one

[Princess Arabia]

Beautiful.

[A Fellow Lighter]

19 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

awakening really is terrifying. Everyone wants to awake to be at home, but when you see your house your blood will freeze in your veins. Your house is total infinity, absolute emptiness. There is absolutely nothing, it is a bottomless abyss.

but there is something, there is your heart there, and from it love springs. It's hidden, but it's obvious. 

From nothing, from absolute infinite emptiness, an illusion is created, it seems like a silly trick to have fun, a stupidity to escape from the nihilism of absolute emptiness without any meaning, but if you penetrate into it, you will see that it is made of a sacred substance called love.  form the depth of nothingness love springs, all form is love, and form is, because love is. It is not an illusion, it is the open heart of the infinite, which is a source of infinite love. It is the miracle of existence, it is the total light that opens and blinds you, and looks you directly in the face and then you merge with it because you are that. That is the pure light of the existence.

Then, in a moment , you are not merged anymore, then you start thinking, and you are out. That's life. But the light is always there, now you know the secret of existence, it's absolutely simple. 

I once had that awakening in which I was totally aware of my singular existence as consciousness. At first I found it calming, well I was calm. I also started feeling overwhelmingly powerful. Then, as the realisation of my absolute aloneness set in, terror struck. I wasn't prepared for that truth. I can accept it conceptually but to be totally aware of it as I was in that state, that's a whole new ballgame.

Ever since, I've been gradually and steadily working towards that realisation again. I'm still not prepared for it, to be honest. There really is no room for ego up there, just pure selfless expression. 

[Breakingthewall]

2 hours ago, A Fellow Lighter said:

Then, as the realisation of my absolute aloneness set in, terror struck. I wasn't prepared for that truth

That's quite horrible. This is the last door. You have to face it again and again. I cried of loneliness and terror after those openings many times. You have to go through it and open your heart, then the pure light of existence is showed to itself. Nothing that you could think.

Edited June 20 by Breakingthewall

[A Fellow Lighter]

14 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

That's quite horrible. This is the last door. You have to face it again and again. I cried of loneliness and terror after those openings many times. You have to go through it and open your heart, then the pure light of existence is showed to itself. Nothing that you could think.

It is in fact the last door because in that state of awareness, nothing is hidden from you. The truth is so blunt and undeniable.

However, this time I'm making sure that I am prepared for that level of awareness. I am having and integrating all the awakenings I've had and might have. There won't be an "again" once I get to total awakening again. Because I will be prepared to let go of the illusion of i.

[Javfly33]

17 hours ago, A Fellow Lighter said:

I once had that awakening in which I was totally aware of my singular existence as consciousness. . Then, as the realisation of my absolute aloneness set in, terror struck. I 

Because there was Still an I there. 

Realizations of terror = Ego Still there.

No identity at all: You.

 

17 hours ago, A Fellow Lighter said:

 I wasn't prepared for that truth. 

Truth is Only what you Are.

 

Everything else identity, Thoughts, Ego.

 

What you really are is impossible It suffers any realization because It is not an I.

17 hours ago, A Fellow Lighter said:

 

 There really is no room for ego up there, just pure selfless expression. 

Thats funny.

Dont you see the reaction and the creation of so called loneliness or terror is itself ego?

 

I think there was plenty room for ego right there.

Edited June 21 by Javfly33

[A Fellow Lighter]

18 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Because there was Still an I there. 

Realizations of terror = Ego Still there.

No identity at all: You.

 

Truth is Only what you Are.

 

Everything else identity, Thoughts, Ego.

 

What you really are is impossible It suffers any realization because It is not an I.

Thats funny.

Dont you see the reaction and the creation of so called loneliness or terror is itself ego?

 

I think there was plenty room for ego right there.

There is no room in the sense that you can not operate from ego-mind in that level of awareness. Hence the sense of aloneness and the terror which followed. 

However, if your concern is that I reached this level of awareness with my ego in tact, then I understand your point. And, yes, it is possible to reach that level of awareness while operating at ego-mind, because ego-mind is still mind. However, you won't like it, and you'll back out just as I did. That level of awareness is not for the i. 

[Water by the River]

1 hour ago, A Fellow Lighter said:

That level of awareness is not for the i. 

Right. It is the green mile of the "I".

 

2 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Dont you see the reaction and the creation of so called loneliness or terror is itself ego?

 

I think there was plenty room for ego right there.

 

[Rafael Thundercat]

19 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

That's quite horrible. This is the last door. You have to face it again and again. I cried of loneliness and terror after those openings many times. You have to go through it and open your heart, then the pure light of existence is showed to itself. Nothing that you could think.

Empty-handed I entered the world. Barefoot I leave it. My coming, my going- Two simple happenings. That got entangled.”

― Kozan Ichikyo.

[Rafael Thundercat]

On 19/06/2024 at 10:32 PM, Breakingthewall said:

awakening really is terrifying. Everyone wants to awake to be at home, but when you see your house your blood will freeze in your veins. Your house is total infinity, absolute emptiness. There is absolutely nothing, it is a bottomless abyss.

but there is something, there is your heart there, and from it love springs. It's hidden, but it's obvious. 

From nothing, from absolute infinite emptiness, an illusion is created, it seems like a silly trick to have fun, a stupidity to escape from the nihilism of absolute emptiness without any meaning, but if you penetrate into it, you will see that it is made of a sacred substance called love.  form the depth of nothingness love springs, all form is love, and form is, because love is. It is not an illusion, it is the open heart of the infinite, which is a source of infinite love. It is the miracle of existence, it is the total light that opens and blinds you, and looks you directly in the face and then you merge with it because you are that. That is the pure light of the existence.

Then, in a moment , you are not merged anymore, then you start thinking, and you are out. That's life. But the light is always there, now you know the secret of existence, it's absolutely simple. 

I had this is experience, if it could be called exeperience when I was 14. Alone in my room. suddenly total Whiteness, no a black-out but a White-Out or White In. and No-Body No-One Just White Nothing.. and in what felt later as a micro-second... a terrible fear.. and then the coming back.. 

But in the midle of the Nothingness there was no fear, no time and nobody to fear nothing. So my question was in that time, why did " I" came back?? if the Nothingness had nothing to fear why In hell I had came back.. 

The experience was so terrifing that took me till my 35 to get the courage and the tools to try to reapeat the event.. But the event is never the same..

The nothingness is the same but a different taste of it. Now my aim is to experience the Nothingness of right here rigth now, eyes open with no change in anything in the Reality Bubble. 

Awake dont happen in going Unconscious. To Die fully conscious of it 

[Javfly33]

37 minutes ago, Rafael Thundercat said:

Empty-handed I entered the world. Barefoot I leave it. My coming, my going- Two simple happenings. That got entangled.”

― Kozan Ichikyo.

Woah, thats brilliant.

[Breakingthewall]

2 hours ago, Rafael Thundercat said:

The nothingness is the same but a different taste of it. Now my aim is to experience the Nothingness of right here rigth now, eyes open with no change in anything in the Reality Bubble. 

wasn't nothingness. I have had many times the experience of absolute loneliness and absolute emptiness, as @A Fellow Lighter mentioned .

In fact, the first 10 or 12 breakthroughs with 5 meo were just that, something extremely hard. It is something that feels worse than death, it is the cosmic prison where existence is, without any meaning and without the possibility of escape, absolutely alone. not I, the human, but total existence. It is alone, and cannot not exist. It is a realization that produces vomiting and crying. It took me almost a year to get back in there with 5meo, and it was exactly the same, many times, until some openings happened.

The other day it happened to me just with meditation and 1 puff of weed, the opening to the absolute emptiness of existence. Since this has happened to me countless times, I find it unpleasant but bearable, over all because I know that there is more.

After 4 days , meditating with 1 puff of weed, as I sometimes do, it happened again. then, in the absolute void, existence, horrified as always by the prison that the fact of being means, opened itself. first a little, a faint flow of something. At the bottom of the unfathomable void, the void itself was, and it opened to be seen by itself. then the gap widened, and the void opened, and showed itself as the absolute light of existence. beyond any idea, desire, whatever. reality showed itself as total love (it's hard for me to say that cheesy candy word). absolute simplicity, absolute fullness, there is nothing more, there can't be nothing more. that's all. Hallelujah. the totality manifests itself in its absolute plenitude. I had already seen something like this with 5meo, but not like this, not totally, not that long. It's still here, underneath everything. The feeling is like I'm just a hole from the the things, all the colors, the person, the sensations, emerge, because they are all inside, but they flow, appearing, and what is inside is unfathomable. And I, the person, I'm modulating what appears, like a filter

Edited June 21 by Breakingthewall

[An young being]

@Breakingthewall How would you differentiate such a blissful feeling from other emotions, including love?