I need some dating advice

[Starlight321]

Hey guys,

I just went to a thai massage salon to get a gift and there was a very cute girl who found me handsome and I got her number. She speaks little english and not my native language which is german. I don't know how to go on from this point. Usually it's easier for me if it's a stage green person or a hippy girl.

I've just had some very negative set backs which depress me and I feel deeply insecure because I have a disability and no career right and low income right now. It's especially strange because native thai girls beheave a little different and I don't know if she's looking for marriage or normal dating and she's tried to videocall me when I was budy.

Can somebody give me some advice how to text and about what and what I should do if she starts a video call again. Should I schedule a date on the  weekend right now? 

Everybody' advide is welcome.

@Leo Guracan you give please comment. Thx

Edited June 18, 2024 by Starlight321

[Princess Arabia]

You must be pretty young and inexperienced. That's just my assessment from reading your post and the kind of advice you seek. Why don't you try a bit of spontaneity. When it comes to these things, no amount of planning out and speculating will work. Talk to her. Find out about her from her. No one here can advise on what to text someone they know nothing about. The reason you're asking is also because you know nothing about her other than where she's from.

You avoided her call because you were busy, and now you're asking for advice on what to say. You weren't busy when you made this post. You have to go into this head-on and stop using your mind to try and figure this out. If she speaks or write enough English for a balanced communication, I would suggest you go talk to her directly and let the conversation flow on it's own instead of trying to figure out something that hasn't even started yet.

[universe]

Just have fun and be interested in her.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OZebLs6v7o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkfXuIIfULU

[Dean Raymond]

The first thing i have noticed is the amount of limiting beliefs that you have. 

This is the first thing you'll need to work on if you want to do better with women. 

 

[Starlight321]

On 19.6.2024 at 0:33 AM, Princess Arabia said:

You must be pretty young and inexperienced. That's just my assessment from reading your post and the kind of advice you seek. Why don't you try a bit of spontaneity. When it comes to these things, no amount of planning out and speculating will work. Talk to her. Find out about her from her. No one here can advise on what to text someone they know nothing about. The reason you're asking is also because you know nothing about her other than where she's from.

You avoided her call because you were busy, and now you're asking for advice on what to say. You weren't busy when you made this post. You have to go into this head-on and stop using your mind to try and figure this out. If she speaks or write enough English for a balanced communication, I would suggest you go talk to her directly and let the conversation flow on it's own instead of trying to figure out something that hasn't even started yet.

Hey, sry for the late reply and thank you for your pointing that out. I really appreciate that. You're right, I was afraid and I tried to avoid her. 

However I think I haven't clarified my situation properly. I'll do it now because I see proper context is needed.

 I'd been literally crippled for 2 years and my whole life fell apart and so my seöf image. My condition just improved enough to do stuff which people take for granted again. my whole social life fell completely away and right now I'm in the process of rebuilding my life and I think it's natural to feel depressed and disempowered after that for a while. I'm actually 34 and I was far better with girls when I was younger.

Also it is important to say, that I'd been very involved in a thai buddhist community to practice the buddhist path for 10 years and women and grandma's there literally tried to hook me up with friends or their grand children, respectively, several times, and from what I know this girl lives with the family of her sister and it's is highly likely that the girl is looking for someone to marry soon, which in itself is not a problem if they fit together and I panicked because I got this vibe and she noticed that I was uncomfortable and fearful and then ghosted me. Next time I ll try to tell clearly what I want and not wiggle my way out through avoidance. 

 

[Starlight321]

On 19.6.2024 at 2:22 AM, universe said:

Just have fun and be interested in her.

@universe you're right. I've started to volunteer at a stage green location where they make party at least once a week. I have fun and I'm getting closer with people in general and when I have fun people notice that and start having fun with me too. Within a month now I've met and talked with maybe 30-40 people and I work some shifts at the bar and get to socialise through that too. I notice slight improvements in skills and how to flirt and I get more comfortable. 

Today I met there two stage green girls too.

[Starlight321]

@Dean Gladwyn yepp, you're right. I've stated the reason for this above and it will take a while to get rid of that shitty mind set. I've noticed that at stage green parties many many people like me and I'm astonishing good in connecting with a multitude of different people. 

Last week I overcame my fear and sat myself at a table with people I didn't know. I just knew that some spoke a language I spoke as well and hung out with them and they liked it and then a libanese guy who safes turtles sat there and we connected because I know some arab as well and then a guy from istanbul sat down and my brother in law is from turkey as well and I said something funny and I was rolling that shit. 

Today I broght two borrowed neon colored silk fans from the flow and juggle arts meetup I finally can continue to visit and I was one of the very first people who started to dance and I stuck out like a neon pink peacock within a herd of wild turkeys and had so much fun and other people were interested in it so I handed the sencond one around and because I had fun and was rolling it and I got to dance with friends and than some girls too and one was defenitely interested and we had fun dancing together and had many things in common and flirted. However I didn't know how to seduce her and than she kept getting annoyed from the cigerette smoke around (what does she expect from a stage green event with weed legalized) and blamed the people around for their lack of responsibility and empathy. It became to exhausting to stay with her and so I went back to the dance floor dancing with other people. I should mention that I was quite detached because I danced maybe with 7 or 8 girls that night.

 In retrospect I should have kept our conversation from devolving into a fundamental discussion about empathy and free will and should've led her away from the crowd where we could've had some more privacy. But I'm learning step by step.