We just discovered at the doctor that my son has a tachycardia. An his situation is critical, he is in icu. i couldn't surrender. The pain was too much for me, finally i surrender and fuck, i lost my all humanly / worldly emotions. I am completely empty. I can't even say what should I do. Fuck man completely empty again. The pain hurts so much, on my chest and in my chest, something is breaking my bones. This pain is thousand times heavier than ego death. Believe me, All bad pychedelics trips or ego deaths are bullshit.  İ have no choice but / except / only surrender.  Please pray for my son.