It's all meaningless

[BojackHorseman]

11 hours ago, UnbornTao said:

If you knew you'd be able to do it, experientially.

Then, create desire and enthusiasm. 

What do you want to be up to? A hobby, a study, a business you're passionate about? Find out.

Thing I've always had like 4-5 things I'm passionate about up to the point I'd want to make it my whole life, but now that's gone...I have never had the qualities to direct a business. I'm too air-headed for that. I don't seem to have the patience or strength for art anymore (that is, beside a bit of playing here and there but never finishing things). My hobbies I still do, but they seem to tire me more quickly than before, I jump from one to the other but never find the practice of those as nice to do as the idea I have in my head or the memories I had from my past.

[Carl-Richard]

8 hours ago, BojackHorseman said:

Sorry, I know the usual answer for depression is "take your medication", so I probably sound very annoying and stubborn (which I am)

The usual answer is therapy, but medication can also help.

[integral]

Your feelings are what meaning is.

Feelings = Meaning

if you have feelings you have meaning. therefore it is all meaningful.

Edited July 6 by integral

[integral]

On 2024-07-05 at 0:36 AM, BojackHorseman said:

Bad in a way, I rarely wake up refreshed, and when it happens, my batteries run out quickly, been like that my whole life
Doc made me do some test, last one left is for sleep apnea, appointment in...one year

it’s likely that if you fix this everything else will come together.

 

[UnbornTao]

21 hours ago, BojackHorseman said:

Thing I've always had like 4-5 things I'm passionate about up to the point I'd want to make it my whole life, but now that's gone...I have never had the qualities to direct a business. I'm too air-headed for that. I don't seem to have the patience or strength for art anymore (that is, beside a bit of playing here and there but never finishing things). My hobbies I still do, but they seem to tire me more quickly than before, I jump from one to the other but never find the practice of those as nice to do as the idea I have in my head or the memories I had from my past.

Why the passive voice? Maybe it isn't gone; you may have just stopped generating interest. Rekindle your enthusiasm for things by discerning how you're using your mind. Focus on creating what you want. In any case, enjoy any state and contemplate it, which shifts your relationship towards it. 

Besides the advice provided by others (therapy, medication, lifestyle), a couple of episodes by Leo that might help you:

1. The trap of the toxic life purpose
2. Creation vs destruction

Good luck.

Edited July 7 by UnbornTao

[Atb210201]

It's not meaningless trust me

Nothing you do is lost

Everything is measured and watched in the Universe

Every action you take matters

Do not even think for a second that in this world that Everything is connected to Everything else anything is meaningless.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Edited August 20 by Atb210201

[BojackHorseman]

I'm just going to snap here cause nothing makes sense a anymore and I can't fight my thoughts and feelings. Ban me if you need to. I don't know what to do anymore.
Fuck words. Fuck humans. What are they so proud of themselves ? Words are nothing. Thoughts are nothing. What a joke. All wrong.

Something's not right. I've reached an end. Human activities and thinking are not satisfying anymore. My whole soul is itching, there's nothing else to do.
I'm speaking like I've seen it all but it's not even that. I didn't. I'm probably the person that have seen and done the less things on this forum. Yet I say all this. But it's true. I feel it, the world is dissolving around me, I don't even know how to explain all of this. I don't matter.
I'm sorry. Angry vent. But it has to get somewhere even if it's useless.
 

If you can still feel things and like things, please cherish this. Every second. It seems like I can't anymore and it's the absolute worse feeling.

Goodbye.
Maybe.
Probably.

(No worries, no suicide. I'm too weak for that)

Edited August 28 by BojackHorseman

[manuel bon]

[manuel bon]

5 hours ago, BojackHorseman said:

I'm speaking like I've seen it all but it's not even that. I didn't. I'm probably the person that have seen and done the less things on this forum. Yet I say all this.

There's nothing wrong with this. It's not about what you've done, seen, etc. 

Your feelings are totally valid the way they are.

[manuel bon]

5 hours ago, BojackHorseman said:

I'm just going to snap here cause nothing makes sense a anymore and I can't fight my thoughts and feelings. 

You don't have to fight your thoughts and feelings. As I said before, everything you feel is totally valid. If the thoughts are overwhelming, then you can work on that. Try to see that there is magic laying on the simple fact that you're existing right now; let me be more clear: I often feel like you, and my tough family situation doesn't help at all. But I am slowly getting better and stronger thanks to meditation and mindfulness. Let go of your thoughts, focus on the present moment. Let yourself feel all the emotions you have. 

Also taking microdoses of psychedelics helped me with this kind of work. 

[Atb210201]

12 hours ago, BojackHorseman said:

I'm just going to snap here cause nothing makes sense a anymore and I can't fight my thoughts and feelings. Ban me if you need to. I don't know what to do anymore.
Fuck words. Fuck humans. What are they so proud of themselves ? Words are nothing. Thoughts are nothing. What a joke. All wrong.

Something's not right. I've reached an end. Human activities and thinking are not satisfying anymore. My whole soul is itching, there's nothing else to do.
I'm speaking like I've seen it all but it's not even that. I didn't. I'm probably the person that have seen and done the less things on this forum. Yet I say all this. But it's true. I feel it, the world is dissolving around me, I don't even know how to explain all of this. I don't matter.
I'm sorry. Angry vent. But it has to get somewhere even if it's useless.
 

If you can still feel things and like things, please cherish this. Every second. It seems like I can't anymore and it's the absolute worse feeling.

Goodbye.
Maybe.
Probably.

(No worries, no suicide. I'm too weak for that)

It's okay if you talk to others to not feel lonely or if you think nobody can understand you it's okay to talk to God about it

He will definitely understand because He is closer to you than you are to yourself

Just trust God that is all I have to say to you friend

[petar8p]

Bro do some hill sprints, you'll feel better, trust me!