Should I Be Social?

[eTorro]

Hello.

This may seem strange, but I do not know if I should be social.

Because I work a nine-to-five job and I'm in solitude for the rest of my time.

Socializing doesn't stimulate me that much — it doesn't impress me. When I socialize, I don't get hits of dopamine or good feelings. I'm in a neutral state.

I'm not looking for people's approval or to validate them.

Maybe I don't like socializing? Or probably I see it as a waste of time. I still don't know...

Or when I go to a club, I don't find it that enjoyable.

For me, a solitary lifestyle seems appealing. I love cracking the mysteries of my subconscious mind. I enjoy doing consciousness work. Furthermore, I get joy from learning and understanding. Mastery to me is like oxygen.

Am I too unidimensional?

[Hojo]

Start doing things you want to talk about with other people. I notice that I do not like socializing because I have nothing social to say cause I dont do anything but contemplate God so its awkward when people ask me what I do with my free time I cant say I think about God all day so I have nothing to discuss.

 

[Princess Arabia]

Do whatever you want. Nobody cares but you.

[Basman]

It could be a skill issue. You get more out of socialization if you are comfortable with social friction, know how to approach and talk to people, etc. I get energy and joy from a conversation with good flow despite being a conventional introvert all things considered.

You could combine an interest with socialization, like sports, art, nature based hobbies like hunting or kayaking, etc. That way you enrich your life with a meaningful activity and socialize at the same time. You also will have the advantage of a common interest in that case.

My brother works a 9-5 and used to just be gaming after work but after being introduced into viking fencing by a colleague his social life exploded as well as gaining an enriching hobby where he travels around the country. He even got a girlfriend out of it who shares his passion.

Edited June 12 by Basman

[eTorro]

1 hour ago, Basman said:

You could combine an interest with socialization, like sports, art, nature based hobbies like hunting or kayaking, etc. That way you enrich your life with a meaningful activity and socialize at the same time. You also will have the advantage of a common interest in that case.

 

Can you give me a few line-openers? What could I say to people? 

[Basman]

4 minutes ago, eTorro said:

Can you give me a few line-openers? What could I say to people? 

No. Just try things. Don't rely on gimmicks for connection.

As I've grown older, I've realized that I tend to take too much responsibility for a conversation (it is an unconscious response to trauma I suffered as child under a critical family). I've noticed that often when conversations are awkward or stilted it is due to the counter-part not engaging in a way that helps create flow or who is saying weird stuff. If you lack experience socializing, maybe you tend to take too much responsibility for the flow of the conversation.