When I heard that there is no free will, and also that there is no good or evil, right or wrong, I got REALLY depressed. I say things like "If there's no free will, then how can I stop myself from being depressed?" and I fell into a pool of depression. On top of that, this idea of reality being neutral (no good or bad) only enforced the depression and dark thoughts. I'm worried this will grow into something suicidal and then I say "If there is no good or bad, then what's the problem of death?". Then I get that the point of life is what you make it, it's what you want, the point is that you are here to live and you can do whatever you want, but also there will be consequences (good or bad, it doesn't matter) But then I say "How can I cotrol what I want? How can I stop myself from being depressed and even suicidal?" I feel a hell inside me, yet I still wonder "If there is no good or bad, then how can this be a 'hell'?". And that just throws me lower and lower. It's like I've been attacked from 3 sides all at once. I can't handle it. I was thinking of doing psychotherapy, but I'm affraid that this is too deep of an issue for an ordinary psychologist / therapist / doctor( it tackles the question of free will and the meaninglessness of reality). I was also thinking of asking for advice and wisdom from an enlightened individual... I don't know what to do. Please help.