Please Help!!! "free Will" & "no Good Or Evil" Got Me Depressed...

[PetarKa]

When I heard that there is no free will, and also that there is no good or evil, right or wrong, I got REALLY depressed. I say things like "If there's no free will, then how can I stop myself from being depressed?" and I fell into a pool of depression. On top of that, this idea of reality being neutral (no good or bad) only enforced the depression and dark thoughts. I'm worried this will grow into something suicidal and then I say "If there is no good or bad, then what's the problem of death?". Then I get that the point of life is what you make it, it's what you want, the point is that you are here to live and you can do whatever you want, but also there will be consequences (good or bad, it doesn't matter) But then I say "How can I cotrol what I want? How can I stop myself from being depressed and even suicidal?" I feel a hell inside me, yet I still wonder "If there is no good or bad, then how can this be a 'hell'?". And that just throws me lower and lower. It's like I've been attacked from 3 sides all at once. I can't handle it. I was thinking of doing psychotherapy, but I'm affraid that this is too deep of an issue for an ordinary psychologist / therapist / doctor( it tackles the question of free will and the meaninglessness of reality). I was also thinking of asking for advice and wisdom from an enlightened individual... I don't know what to do. Please help.

[Sevi]

@PetarKa hi! I'll write you more later, but in such cases go back to basics.

Free will/No free will, you are here in life to experience whatever is in front of you, so "do your homework": do right now whatever is in front of you waiting for your attention.

To be here in life is just a learning process. When you get lost in big questions, probably you are trying to avoid a current uncomfortable contradiction. That's ok, you eat an elephant one bite at a time.

For now, you can control that one bite, just do that.

[Nahm]

5 hours ago, PetarKa said:

When I heard that there is no free will, and also that there is no good or evil, right or wrong, I got REALLY depressed. I say things like "If there's no free will, then how can I stop myself from being depressed?" and I fell into a pool of depression. On top of that, this idea of reality being neutral (no good or bad) only enforced the depression and dark thoughts. I'm worried this will grow into something suicidal and then I say "If there is no good or bad, then what's the problem of death?". Then I get that the point of life is what you make it, it's what you want, the point is that you are here to live and you can do whatever you want, but also there will be consequences (good or bad, it doesn't matter) But then I say "How can I cotrol what I want? How can I stop myself from being depressed and even suicidal?" I feel a hell inside me, yet I still wonder "If there is no good or bad, then how can this be a 'hell'?". And that just throws me lower and lower. It's like I've been attacked from 3 sides all at once. I can't handle it. I was thinking of doing psychotherapy, but I'm affraid that this is too deep of an issue for an ordinary psychologist / therapist / doctor( it tackles the question of free will and the meaninglessness of reality). I was also thinking of asking for advice and wisdom from an enlightened individual... I don't know what to do. Please help.

There is free will. Right & wrong are opinions. You are depressed because you're choosing to think depressing thoughts. Thought, then feeling. 

Listen to something happy and you'll feel happy. Allow the momentum to build.

Your problems as you describe them here stem from choosing to believe that you don't have free will. The fact that you chose to believe it should be your proof that you are doing the choosing. 

Often, people who trip balls until they are practically unconscious misinterpret their pending unconsciousness as a nothingness and derive that there is no free will because there is no 'them'. You typed that, so clearly there is a you. Clearly you chose to type it. If someone claims they experienced nothing, obviously they were still there to experience it, so it's not nothing. 

Relax. 

Do something you enjoy.

 

[TJM1959]

@PetarKa Completely understand you. The power you now have is to begin to look at your core belief system. Do not label/assess it as good, bad, dark,  etc. Examine it as an observer and begin to notice what you say about yourself. What am I telling myself about this right now? Leo's video addresses a possibility that we don't have free will because we learned/heard some stuff early in life, made it a truth somehow then create experiences to support that belief/truth. Yup, we all have done it. Now the work we get to do is to unlearn some of these beliefs or filters we designed and put into place. You do have free will. Free will is about choice. A question is...based on the results in my life and the belief I have made up, am I willing to hold onto this belief or let it go? Does this belief serve me, yes or no, then you choose differently. The rigor is chunking it down to something you can understand, get your brain around avoiding the messiness of judgement and assessment. Not an easy task today because it's surrounded/connected by life experiences. You have free will at every moment, it means you have choice in the matter, in all matters. Your depression is possibly about seeing no choice, creates a sense of hopelessness resulting in depression...this is a symptom/consequence/result.

I have a choice to pay or not pay my taxes, I take action, I create consequences. I pay my taxes, or move to another country or go to jail. Stupid analogy?

[Sevi]

10 hours ago, PetarKa said:

I was thinking of doing psychotherapy, but I'm affraid that this is too deep of an issue for an ordinary psychologist / therapist / doctor( it tackles the question of free will and the meaninglessness of reality).

@PetarKa therapy is always a helpful tool, even if the therapist is an ordinary one.

When you exchange your ideas with a person who at least had a training about methodology of listening and how to ask questions; it will help you stay on a track, rather than getting lost in analysis on your own.

They at least can mirror you to help you to see yourself (& your way of viewing life) from a different angle.

[PetarKa]

Thanks guys! The support really helped me see through the illusion / faulty logic. After a couple of weeks now I can embrace and trust the dichotonomy. It's just a part of self-actualization, you need to just trust it and not be overly logical about it.

[PetarKa]

@Leo Gura How did you reconcile this for yourself in your life? I feel helpless and you are one of the few people whose opinion on this matter I can fully appreciate, given that (as far as I can see) you've got this pretty well handled in your life. I'd at least want to know what kind of action to take based on someone's personal experience on the matter. I know you're a busy person but at this point I'm desperately looking for a solution...

[Scholar]

Stop believing that there is no free will, it will not change the fact that you still feel like there is free will. When belief systems do not correspond to consciousness, problems come to be.

You do not know whether there is free will or not, what you do is basicly adapt a paradigm because it makes sense to you. You have no consciousness over not having free will, you simply cling to the idea. The idea is not what is happening, the idea is just an idea. You can get depressed over the idea because you can resist it. You are like "Oh god... I-I don't have free will!! What will I do now??!"

This very thought pattern is proof for yourself that you still feel like you are free. You still feel like there is a you. And unless you get rid of the ego, I do not think you can become conscious of free will not existing. So, for now, screw the belief. You feel like you have free will, right now, that's all that matters. You can investigate the feeling, but don't analyse it rationally, it won't do much good.

 

Whether you think you have free will or not, both beliefs are completely delusional. Saying free will does not exist is just as much a delusion as saying free will does exist, it's completely ridicilous. The mind is playing a game, a drama. What you think is not what is. And the more you will think about it, the more depressed you will get. Because simply, your consciousness does not correspond to your beliefs.

Saying everything is one, everything is consciousness, is not the same as being consciouss of the oneness of reality. If you simply adapt a paradigm, you will create a split, an inauthenticity within yourself. You yourself do not belief the words you are uttering, all it really is, is that they make sense to you. You don't feel like you have no free will, you simply think it's true.

 

Stop believing the bullshit people want to feed you, even if it's Leo. Be curious, find out for yourself and investigate.

If you keep doing it the way you have, you will see that it leads to suffering. Not everyone is suited for Leo's style of teaching. A wise master will withhold truth from you, because he knows that you will not see the truth in his words, you merely see the words. The words are delusion, no matter what words are uttered. All words are illusion, all thoughts are constructions.

You are constructing a picture without having ever seen the world for what it is. You trust others to tell you what the world looks like, without bothering to open your eyes. All you see is darkness, and you hear people telling you about the light. How will that not make someone depressed? How could you possibly understand the light, if you have never seen it? If all you see is darkness, even light you will imagine as dark.

 

This is fundamental.

Edited May 9, 2017 by Scholar

[Nahm]

@PetarKa You are the creator of you. You have been influenced by the ego of others. Take a look around you. Look at the people you love and who love you. Contemplate the many things that make you happy. Could be a sunset, silence, a favorite food, movie, song. Perhaps you would like to learn an instrument and expand your creating into music.  Perhaps fitness added to your experience would be enjoyable. Consider these things as you look around you right now, and have a great laugh when I tell you, there is nothing. See how I am feeding my ego in telling you there is nothing and no free will. Imagine, as you see, hear, touch and smell the glorious world that God has created for us to experience.....imagine that I tell you that there is nothing, that you aren't making choices. Now imagine that I am telling you this so I can make money. There. Clarity. 

Get back to creating your life Petarka. You were doing better on your own.

[PetarKa]

Thank you guys! Though I am still confused about the idea that all things are neutral. I cannot get moving because of this. I rationalize to myself that pain, laughter, suffering, boredom, excitement, joy, wonder (basically all possible emotions) are equal and that it doesn't matter what I get. I cannot make a decision about what to pursue. Should I pursue joy, or maybe pleasure? How about fulfillment or perhaps sadness? What about melancholy? Is there such a thing as an ultimate feeling (maybe it's bliss)? I'm at a standstill. I don't know where to go... I'm wondering whether I even want growth and self-actualization. I might've been pursuing those things just because I had faith that Leo and the self-help industry knew what they were talking about. But is this what life is all about? What's the problem with pain and all of the "negative" emotions? I don't know what I want...

[PetarKa]

@Dingus So I guess you're saying no one can answer my question for me?