Bitter towards women

[Kid A]

On 6.6.2024 at 2:13 AM, aurum said:

You have to actually start experiencing love from women. The love heals your resentment.

Yes, it’s a bit of vicious cycle. Because when you are in the kind of mindset you are describing, you are more likely to not develop loving relationships. Which just enhances your bitterness.

It’s like physics. Love tends to attract love.

You are not stuck though. This cycle is not 100% solid or impossible to break. You don’t even have to heal all your trauma around this issue to start seeing progress. If you keep putting yourself out there, you might be surprised what happens.

So here are some practical steps:

1) See that your desire for revenge is about you, and you not getting what you want. It has nothing to do ultimately with women.

2) Get in touch with that feeling and see that underneath that desire to hurt women is actually your desire to be loved by them

3) See that this same desire for revenge is likely holding you back from receiving the love you want

4) Study up on the basics of male / female psychology, male dating improvement and general personal development. Fix your style, get a social circle, hit the gym etc.

5) Keep putting yourself out there and facing whatever fears / traumas you might have around rejection

If you do all this, you will expand your capacity to love women. And some women might just love you back.

I second this. I don't think there really is any other magical solution to this problem. Over the last three years, my results with women have improved. This year, for the first time, I was in the position where I had to dump a rather attractive girl, after dating her for three months. What this has done to my self-esteem is pretty amazing. These days I experience things that would have broken me down and made me super bitter towards women a year ago, but now it just rolls off me. 

[Twentyfirst]

Stop being bitter towards women. 

[NoSelfSelf]

By being rooted in yourself and not feminity, everyone bitter towards a woman is feminine and women want a man.

Be honest with yourself, you have zero game you dont love and believe in yourself.

Edited June 7 by NoSelfSelf

[Nemra]

3 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

By being rooted in yourself and not feminity, everyone bitter towards a woman is feminine and women want a man.

Nonsense.

It's called being toxic.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Nemra then by your logic your post is called being ignorant.

ignorant and toxic to yourself by judging someone like that, i would say you judge women the same calling them sluts if they do something bad.

[Nemra]

16 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

i would say you judge women the same calling them sluts if they do something bad.

Don't assume that.

Acting out of bitterness is toxic.

It's ignorant of you to think a man embodying femininity is toxic.

Edited June 7 by Nemra

[NoSelfSelf]

@Nemra I also know that you would think being a man is toxic because you embody femninity.

If he was rooted in himself then he wouldnt even believe in rejection,he wouldnt even desire a woman more than himself and put all focus on himself not a woman,so all his bitterness is product of not knowing how to value himself over a woman.

When one values woman more then ironically he will look to manipulate and act weak around them.Acting out of emotion aka outside world which is feminine.

 

Edited June 7 by NoSelfSelf

[Nemra]

1 minute ago, NoSelfSelf said:

 I also know that you would think being a man is toxic

No.

4 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

all his bitterness is product of not knowing how to value himself

I agree with that.

[Nemra]

25 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Acting out of emotion aka outside world which is feminine.

Are you emotionless?

People act out of emotion.

Feminine people could act more. So what? They are more attuned to their emotions.

Edited June 7 by Nemra

[NoSelfSelf]

@Nemra I have emotions but im not emotional. Im acting based on calculated mindset that could include feelings but its not the main thing that drives behaviour.Sometime emotion can be used but emotional about yourself not the woman.

Feminine people will see a woman and cant approach because how beautiful she is or will completely change based on the fear they experiencing.

Edited June 7 by NoSelfSelf

[Nemra]

 

33 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Feminine people will see a woman and cant approach because how beautiful she is or will completely change based on the fear they experiencing.

Yep, that can be a part of being feminine, whether you're a man or woman. Would you change a feminine woman to not be guided by emotions when seeing a man?

Also, I think that people aren't honest with themselves about whether they want to pursue or be pursued.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Nemra Women suppose to be guided by their emotions.The thing is that i dont want to change nothing, i just need to present myself so she can get a full picture of who i am.Based on who i am shes gonna modify her behaviour or not.If by presenting myself i sent signals that she recognize femininty in me, shes gonna back off, if she cant find femininity shes gonna be drawn in because she doesnt know nor understands what a man is,how he operates.

[Nemra]

@NoSelfSelf

What I'm saying is that you're talking about different types of people who might be confused about their goals. If a man is feminine, he should expect that feminine women will be repelled if he acts feminine while attracting them. I think he must find a masculine one. And there are those men who don't understand the emotions of women and are so unconscious of their own emotions that they are mostly controlled by "negative" ones when the situation is not convenient for them, which makes women reject them.

[Leo Gura]

On 6/5/2024 at 4:17 PM, Ben2204 said:

Hi everyone I'm new here. I would like to have your advice. I'm a 23 year old guy and I've always been rejected by women. Only rejections, ghosting so far. I've had women who were interested in me before but I did exactly the same thing to them that other women did to me. So I punished innocent women for the behavior of other women. I feel like most women are horrible and unfair to me. I am in a state of hatred towards them. I want to have sexual and romantic relationships with them but I also want revenge for everything they did to me. 

How to stop feeling resentful towards women? How can we appreciate them despite their behavior?

1) By recognizing that your resentment is just an egoic reaction to having been rejected. But no one woman owes you a date. Women are picky just like you are picky about women. Women are not horrible nor unfair to you, they just don't find you as attractive as you would like. And that's life.

2) By recognizing that you must treat each woman as an individual. If other women rejected you that has zero relation to the woman who likes you. Take the win.

3) By being more social and developing some sexual abundance. You are bitter because you are not having sex. If you were having sex you wouls stop being bitter. So the ultimate solution is to increase your dating life.

4) Many women who rejected you might have loved you if you learned proper game and how to communicate properly with them. So learn game.

Edited June 7 by Leo Gura

[aurum]

14 hours ago, Kid A said:

I second this. I don't think there really is any other magical solution to this problem. Over the last three years, my results with women have improved. This year, for the first time, I was in the position where I had to dump a rather attractive girl, after dating her for three months. What this has done to my self-esteem is pretty amazing. These days I experience things that would have broken me down and made me super bitter towards women a year ago, but now it just rolls off me. 

Sounds like you're definitely getting it. "Rolls off" is a good description of how it should feel.

[Basman]

I second to avoid any "women bad" social media content. It is a whole cottage industry know of videos "criticizing" the dating market, the behavior of certain women, criticizing women for being "illogical", etc.

The problem is that it frames women as an "other" and shrinks your world view. Gender war derpstate that can get in the way of growth.

Edited June 8 by Basman

[Rafael Thundercat]

Dont be bitter against women: Many are suffering from the sitation of How the Dating Market is rigth now, Difficult to say who to blame for it sicne there are political,economical, incentive reasons and more that connect to create this situation. 

 

[Rafael Thundercat]

Women is also facing a lot of confusion in the Modern days. 

She have great points. I think is important that we always see this topics with a open mind that there are multi-factors that are making things happening.

She talks about this book somewhere in the video :

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Coddling_of_the_American_Mind

Edited June 8 by Rafael Thundercat

[Rishabh R]

@Leo Gura does game/pickup apply to India. If I am an Indian and I am being rejected by girls always then what's the solution. Can warm approach/friend circle work ? I once said I love you to a girl online , she rejected me and the next day her friend gave me a threat over phone. Is it true that I can find someone else despite not having an initial relationship experience in college ? But how to do it because cold approach doesn't work in India. When you approach a random girl you get threat from either her boyfriend or her friend. And I don't understand even tough it's an issue of past and is gone why does my mind keep bringing that issue again and again . Also it is true that rather focussing on getting a girlfriend, I must focus on finding a girlfriend? Must I focus on future rather than past to move ahead of rejections ?

Edited June 8 by Rishabh R

[mr_engineer]

On 6/6/2024 at 4:47 AM, Ben2204 said:

Hi everyone I'm new here. I would like to have your advice. I'm a 23 year old guy and I've always been rejected by women. Only rejections, ghosting so far. I've had women who were interested in me before but I did exactly the same thing to them that other women did to me. So I punished innocent women for the behavior of other women. I feel like most women are horrible and unfair to me. I am in a state of hatred towards them. I want to have sexual and romantic relationships with them but I also want revenge for everything they did to me. 

How to stop feeling resentful towards women? How can we appreciate them despite their behavior?

First of all, understand that it is okay to not be okay with things that women do. If you think 'I'm not okay with women doing this thing, this is where women are unfair to men', that's okay. The 'resentment' is a perception of unfairness and it is justified when you are, in fact, being treated unfairly. 

Now, here's the tricky part - nobody cares. That's not okay either, but saying this doesn't change the fact that nobody cares. 

The question is - how much are you willing to care about women's issues? Because until you do that, they're not going to care about your issues. You literally will not meet women who care about your issues. 

Now, the tricky part with this is - what if you're not willing to care about other people's issues? 

Then you're on your own in a dog-eat-dog world. You just have to 'build yourself up by your bootstraps' until you're in a relatively good place in life, then you can start caring about other people. Then you can start to change any of this.