Seeking the Source of Inside-Out Transformation/Understanding through Accelerationism

[Keryo Koffa]

I seek to find the core and source of consciousness that generates reality and figure out a way to let it transform me from the inside out. All meaningful change happens through this process, as the alternative is mechanistic repetition and unconscious continuation of pre-established ideas/patterns (I don't want to dismiss that approach of course, maybe building momentum and slowly integrating is necessary not to overstimulate the body and build a foundation but still). The body forms itself inside out, growing from a single undivided cell into the complex, intelligent, specialized, interdependent system that it is today. It continues to create structures and experiences, with conscious experience corresponding to various parts of the brain expanding and interconnecting. But what I seek is to access the process which makes it happen, and my psychedelic experiences point me towards consciousness retroactively upgrading the brain as its physical counterpart and sensory connector in order to account for and understand a greater portion of reality.

You might say that Leo already made a video about this and it's the concept of going Meta and that is definitely a powerful way to do it. But I feel like there has to be even more to it or maybe that within the concept of going Meta, there is more room for expanding the understanding of that concept, of what it means to go Meta and understanding Meta² or Meta-Meta. How can I instead of transcending paradigms through Non-Duality as I currently do, access and utilize that experiential feeling inside of me which leads me to become aware and want to go Meta and integrate it into my awareness and make it a default action and state of operating.

There are many limitations within that stop us from living our best lives by being stuck in paradigms, maybe there is a point to it, maybe self-deception is just ignorance, maybe its the natural process of evolution that propels us into greater self-understanding and a healthier way to engage in existence, maybe we specifically chose to be as limited as we are in order to experience and appreciate activities that would make no sense from a higher perspective. But low consciousness leads to a lot of suffering, as we see in the world and ourselves, and I realized how my very own ideas and desires lead me to suffer needlessly, chase never attainable pleasure and hedonism, get me stuck and at odds with people and slow my progress towards my passions and the things that I find meaningful.

One might say, I'm supposed to learn through physical experience and learn through suffering, but Sadhguru himself says that this human machine is the most sophisticated thing on the planet and we haven't even bothered reading the user's manual, so that's exactly what I want to do. Of course gaining experience through action is a fundamental part of it, but why should I chase random societal desires and karmic tendencies that I don't even authentically want when I haven't even figured out the fundamentals of my human existence and am simply adopting a local paradigm of blind faith, perpetuating negative tendencies in the process of aping after others because that's all I'm exposed to. I've been so unhealthy in the past, the self-understanding I have now would have saved me a lot of trouble, mindless repetition, ego games and stubbornness.

I have wondered what about psychedelics made me tune into the experiences they create, one thing being that I'm overflowing with love, another that my limitations dissolve, another that the need for external validation disappears, another being fearlessness, another being transcending shame through self-compassion and understanding, another being the peace of mind that spawns curiosity, another one being the release of trauma and energetic barriers, another one being authenticity, yet another taking responsibility, and at this point its basically just speedrunning the concepts from the titles of all of Leo's videos. But I don't wanna rely on Leo's videos, I want to find out how to get into the state of mind that generates these insights and figure out what its source is, the healthiest configuration, the source of creation and imagination, the peak of kundalini, the state of mind that lets me shed my skin and be reborn and transformed from new energy updating my body from the inside out.

I want to access the link between the immaterial and perceived materiality, the feeling of conscious intent when moving a hand, formulating a thought, taking a cold plunge, presence, awareness, energy, transformation.

[Wilhelm44]

I'd say that to know/see yourself very clearly, is like a portal to that Source. Leo's latest video on the psychology of being wrong is very helpful in this regard.