Acid And Self-inquiry. (ego Death)

[Be Yourself]

Guys, I don't even know how to explain this. I just feel the need to share it with other like minded people because I need support and my friends are not on that level yet. It's very hard to communicate it to people who didn't have the direct experience of Truth. My life is going through so many changes right now and there is no way back. I saw the Truth and it was the most beautiful, shocking, real, and simple realization.

For the past month I've been experimenting with psychedelics with the intention to see the Truth. I'm not new to psychedelics but I used to do them in more recreational ways with friends, parties, etc. Now, I do them alone at my place. I self-inquire while watching spiritual videos (mostly Mooji, Rupert Spira, Adushanti). There is a real benefit when you put an intention on Truth and listen to Mooji or any other spiritual teacher who you resonate with. They can really help you to breakthrough (at least for me). 

My first breakthrough happened about 3 weeks ago while on mushrooms. It was so shocking and quick that I couldn't fully integrate it even thought I knew intuitively it was the experience of Truth. And I wanted to try again but this time with acid because I know that acid is more controllable and clear compared to mushrooms. Mushrooms are known to be very twisting and confusing.

So, 2 days ago I took acid alone at my place while watching Mooji's Satsang. The breakthrough happened again but in more clear and understanding way. 

Omg guys! Omg! Everything that we think is real is just a dream. It's all just a dream. Absolutely everything is made by me. I created all this dream state so I can experience myself as a separate entity. This realization is so shocking and profound that there is no words to describe it. I'm unlimited. I WAS NEVER BORN AND I WILL NEVER DIE! I was full of tears from this realization of true self. It was so true and real and even typing this right now makes me cry.  Now I understand, what Leo was saying in his 5meo video, is that, the direct experience of Truth is infinite times more profound than going to space or absolutely anything you can imagine in your dream reality. The reason why we don't see it's because we believe our mind. In particular, we believe in a thought that we are this person, that we are separate from everyone.

Yes, I'm back to my ego self but I could see how my ego self was coming back and I could clearly see how I started believing in a thought. Now, looking at this reality and knowing that it's all just a dream makes me happy and sad at the same time. I just don't know how to live in this reality after knowing all of this! I know it's all my mind trying to make sense of all that. Because when you're in your natural state there are no questions, no fears, no desires, no doubts. Everything is just how it is. 
 

I just felt sharing this. Is anyone going thought something similar? 

[pluto]

Now you enjoy it while it lasts

[Be Yourself]

6 hours ago, Dingus said:

So what now?

I guess now to just let it unfold without resisting it. 

 

5 hours ago, pluto said:

Now you enjoy it while it lasts

I'm enjoying it even thought i'm not in that state anymore. The ego came back.

Also, I'm a DJ/Producer and my dream has always been to make it in the music industry. I even bought Leo's Life Purpose course. But since I started getting very deeply into spirituality and especially after direct experiences of Truth I feel that I'm loosing interested in achieving something in music. I'm so fascinated/passionate to know the Truth. It's something that feels so real to me. Now, it's like i'm stuck between 2 worlds. Kind of confused and feeling lost. I had no idea the truth is so different from what I thought. It makes me completely rethink my life and what i really want to do. Enlightenment can be scary to the ego. 

[pluto]

11 minutes ago, Valentin said:

I guess now to just let it unfold without resisting it. 

 

I'm enjoying it even thought i'm not in that state anymore. The ego came back.

Also, I'm a DJ/Producer and my dream has always been to make it in the music industry. I even bought Leo's Life Purpose course. But since I started getting very deeply into spirituality and especially after direct experiences of Truth I feel that I'm loosing interested in achieving something in music. I'm so fascinated/passionate to know the Truth. It's something that feels so real to me. Now, it's like i'm stuck between 2 worlds. Kind of confused and feeling lost. I had no idea the truth is so different from what I thought. It makes me completely rethink my life and what i really want to do. Enlightenment can be scary to the ego. 

Well if you didn't have an ego to experience separation your life here on earth as a physical being would be pointless. Our true nature is already infinite and enlightened but we cannot learn in a state that already knows everything. This way, without direct connection to infinite intelligence and infinite knowing all the time, we can learn more than we already know because we are learning through a state of "not knowing" instead of already "All knowing".

Sorry if it is confusing, I'm sure others can word it better but i believe after that experience you will be able to somewhat grasp this to a greater degree

At the end of the day, my signature says it all <3

Edited April 20, 2017 by pluto

[Be Yourself]

9 minutes ago, pluto said:

Well if you didn't have an ego to experience separation your life here on earth as a physical being would be pointless. Our true nature is already infinite and enlightened but we cannot learn in a state that already knows everything. This way, without direct connection to infinite intelligence and infinite knowing all the time, we can learn more than we already know because we are learning through a state of "not knowing" instead of already "All knowing".

Sorry if it is confusing, I'm sure others can word it better but i believe after that experience you will be able to somewhat grasp this to a greater degree

At the end of the day, my signature says it all <3

I understand what you mean and your signature makes me feel better for sure

Edited April 20, 2017 by Valentin

[Visionary]

Detach from it bro. Don't make it part of "your" story. Just continue the path. It considerabily differs per person, but your ego might be mortally wounded now. So you should focus on dissolving the rest of it. For me the days/weeks after the experience were very hard. It's still hard now.

 

Extreme anger issues after a week of torturing anxiety. I'm letting that poisonous side of me just be instead of resisting it. It kinda resulted in wishing cancer to everbody that i didn't like at the moment :p. Not proud of it lol. But your old emotional baggage should really be purged out of your body. I don't know if you've noticed all the old emotional habits, insecurities and thought patterns manifest themself again in your body and subconscious? Purging that shit is a big part of the process. 

Edited April 20, 2017 by Visionary

[Dodo]

3 hours ago, pluto said:

Well if you didn't have an ego to experience separation your life here on earth as a physical being would be pointless. Our true nature is already infinite and enlightened but we cannot learn in a state that already knows everything. This way, without direct connection to infinite intelligence and infinite knowing all the time, we can learn more than we already know because we are learning through a state of "not knowing" instead of already "All knowing".

Sorry if it is confusing, I'm sure others can word it better but i believe after that experience you will be able to somewhat grasp this to a greater degree

At the end of the day, my signature says it all <3

I was contemplating that, how can there be growth and change outside of time?

The first rule of the timeless is no-change - for if there is change, that in itself means time.

Maybe the timeless and changeless loves this illusory game just as much as some of us love playing pc games - that doesnt mean that the individuals in the pc game have to love it

[Hero in progress]

@Valentin

You had a awakening experience there. When it first happens yourself is so shocked & there are so many questions and your normal state of ego consciousness comes back in. Now you have to go further you not done by a long shot. You have to keep going intill you abide in a non dual awareness permanently. This may take countless enlightenments and a deep enquiry into your true nature. 

[Dodo]

Can anyone explain why people claim it's the simplest and easiest truth if they had to take a drug to get there? And if it didn't stick?

[Be Yourself]

10 hours ago, Visionary said:

Detach from it bro. Don't make it part of "your" story. Just continue the path. It considerabily differs per person, but your ego might be mortally wounded now. So you should focus on dissolving the rest of it. For me the days/weeks after the experience were very hard. It's still hard now.

Extreme anger issues after a week of torturing anxiety. I'm letting that poisonous side of me just be instead of resisting it. It kinda resulted in wishing cancer to everbody that i didn't like at the moment :p. Not proud of it lol. But your old emotional baggage should really be purged out of your body. I don't know if you've noticed all the old emotional habits, insecurities and thought patterns manifest themself again in your body and subconscious? Purging that shit is a big part of the process. 

Thank you for this! Yes, I really feel there is no way back. I just need to accept and continue the path. Don't fight with the ego..

[Be Yourself]

4 hours ago, Dodoster said:

Can anyone explain why people claim it's the simplest and easiest truth if they had to take a drug to get there? And if it didn't stick?

Even thought it's simple it still can be hard to realize. I've watched so many video by Mooji and just had an intellectual understanding but acid kind of opened my mind to a different degree where I could clearly see my delusions. I'm so grateful psychedelics exist. Who knows how long it would take me to get it.. 

[Dodo]

12 minutes ago, Valentin said:

Even thought it's simple it still can be hard to realize. I've watched so many video by Mooji and just had an intellectual understanding but acid kind of opened my mind to a different degree where I could clearly see my delusions. I'm so grateful psychedelics exist. Who knows how long it would take me to get it.. 

By saying these words, you are creating the sense that there is something to get in time that others are missing for this realisation. 

Who's delusions were they. You had an experience of no self I presume, and now you are strapping the memory of an experience to the thing the experience made you realise was untrue.

Why are you doing that to yourself?

[JustinS]

After such a profound experience I found it easier to breakthrough on smaller doses, or even just a toke of some MJ believe it or not. Now, meditate daily and sharpen your awareness slowly bit by bit.

[Dodo]

33 minutes ago, Valentin said:

Even thought it's simple it still can be hard to realize. I've watched so many video by Mooji and just had an intellectual understanding but acid kind of opened my mind to a different degree where I could clearly see my delusions. I'm so grateful psychedelics exist. Who knows how long it would take me to get it.. 

Since you mentioned Mooji, and I was reading this exact thing from Moojis book on my way home from work,  I'll share it with you.

I think it will be of value.

 

 

Edited April 20, 2017 by Dodoster

[Be Yourself]

26 minutes ago, Dodoster said:

Since you mentioned Mooji, and I was reading this exact thing from Moojis book on my way home from work,  I'll share it with you.

I think it will be of value.

 

 

This is so true. Thank you for this! For 2 days I didn't want to share it with anyone and I don't know why I decided to share it now. I guess it's just me playing with my ego and trying to get some kind of approval from others. Or to feel that I'm not alone who is going thought this. Mooji is right, what I saw is too precious to sprinkle about.