Why don’t women talk about how to be a “real woman”?

[Sugarcoat]

Something I’ve been thinking about, is why (here I’m referring to western culture) do we hear men talk about how to be a “real man” but we don’t hear women as much talking about how to be a “real woman”. We don’t really see discussions amongst women about this, speaking in that manner. Why is it so? I think it’s because for women in the west, being a high value woman is simple, it’s means looking good. A woman generally speaking doesn’t think how to be a “real woman” or “high value woman” she just goes to the mirror puts on makeup and makes herself prettier because that’s what gives her that value . So it’s pretty simple. Ofc other traits matter too in societies eyes but for women in the west nothing gets even close to how much good looks is valued (which has conditioned women so they feel so about themselves) so it’s the number one thing. 

 

For men tho, being a high value man, a real man, it’s more “broad” what it means. It doesn’t mean one thing like it does for women. There are several things that fall under that category , such as being confident, charming, leader, looks matter too to a degree like being tall but it’s not the main number one thing like it is for women. 

 

So this is not all ofc, but maybe one reason we don’t hear women talk about how to be a high value woman/“real woman” as much is because it’s not needed because it’s pretty simple what it means, it means looking good so no need for so much discussion. But for men the term is more broad in meaning and not so clear that’s why so much discussion and it being heard more. 
 

just a thought 

Edited June 4, 2024 by Sugarcoat

[Twentyfirst]

In the west women can do no wrong. Anything bad that happens can be traced back to a man. Everyone knows that

[Sugarcoat]

5 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

In the west women can do no wrong. Anything bad that happens can be traced back to a man. Everyone knows that

I don’t think that view is as common as you think 

[Schizophonia]

Women are hunted so can remain more in the imagination.

A man's life has much less value, that's why we are muscular lol, muscle proteins are not useful for survival, the goal is to serve women and the collective in general.
As men receive less, they must sacrifice themselves in an energetic exchange of which they are the initiator, they must "serve the soup" and this implies a restriction of the way in which the libido is projected onto the outside world. This is the “phallic phase”

 

[Schizophonia]

Basically "true" can be replaced by "mature" or "integrated".

[Sugarcoat]

@Schizophonia I don’t really understand what you mean to be honest. I understood the muscle part only pretty much 

Edited June 4, 2024 by Sugarcoat

[Schizophonia]

Just now, Sugarcoat said:

@Schizophonia I don’t really understand what you mean to be honest. I understood the muscle part only pretty much 

Women have to make less effort to achieve their relationship goals.

[Sugarcoat]

2 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Women have to make less effort to achieve their relationship goals.

What kind of goals? I bet many women are unsatisfied in relationships maybe they have easier time to get into one but doesn’t mean they are satisfied 

[Twentyfirst]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

I don’t think that view is as common as you think 

Have you ever experienced reality outside of the west? I ask because if you travel outside you will realize just how female dominated the western society is 

[Sugarcoat]

17 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

Have you ever experienced reality outside of the west? I ask because if you travel outside you will realize just how female dominated the western society is 

No I havent
 

Maybe it seems so in comparison yes but still overall society is male dominated globally

[Twentyfirst]

57 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

No I havent
 

Maybe it seems so in comparison yes but still overall society is male dominated globally

Yeah just go travel man and you'll see what I mean. Passport bros exist for a reason 

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

What kind of goals? I bet many women are unsatisfied in relationships maybe they have easier time to get into one but doesn’t mean they are satisfied 

They must leave or ask their husband to make an effort here and there.

But to come back to what I was saying, women also have to make an effort to be someone attractive.
It's just that it's more about things that can't change and therefore doesn't require extra effort (certain physical attributes) compared to men.

But in fact yes, I have already heard the term "real woman" several times, when talking about a more mature woman.

[Princess Arabia]

This isn't true at all. It's just not as publicized or talked about as much or is a major factor for attracting men initially. It's easy for attractive women to attract men but not as easy to keep them, especially men of "high value". "High value" women, and I mean attractive women with substance, knows how to really treat a valuable man, how to conduct themselves in private and public, knows how to sustain the relationship to make herself wanted, needed and valued knows that it takes more than just make-up and a beautiful body. 

They work on themselves extensively. They may even hire dating coaches and go to therapy to work on their inner game. There are plenty of YT channels and private practices that cater to these women and are very successful. Anna Bey and The Universe Guru are two of the highly successful ones. 

Those pretty girls you see hanging out at bars and clubs and are snotty and immature and think they are something special just because they are pretty are not the kind of girls (probably, and I'm stereotyping here) are not the type of girls who will attract a "real high-value" man who is looking for a relationship or marriage. The women I'm talking about are undercover and don't flaunt themselves and left to be used and abused and taken advantage of. 

So, it is a thing, but not as publicized and the men that are after these women aren't hanging out in local bars and strip clubs either. To be a "real woman" takes more than just a beautiful face and body and these women are aware of that.

Men are more competitive so you'll find it more publicized and talked about and they compete with each other, the women I'm talking about are competing with themselves and levelling up on their own.

Edited June 4, 2024 by Princess Arabia

[Leo Gura]

Because there is this asymmetry. Women are more intuitive and being feminine is about acting more intuitively, so logical advice is not so good for that. And men like logical, practical advice for how to be a man.

A woman does not sit down and rationally calculate her mating strategy the way a man might.

There exists a lot of advice for women about connecting to their emotions, feelings, and so forth. That IS how to be a real woman. It isn't about sitting down and learning a bunch of logical things.

There exists a whole domain of feminine personal development, which you will not get from my work.

Edited June 4, 2024 by Leo Gura

[Sugarcoat]

30 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Because there is this asymmetry. Women are more intuitive and being feminine is about acting more intuitively, so logical advice is not so good for that. And men like logical, practical advice for how to be a man.

You have a point there i didn’t think about that, maybe subconsciously . It makes more sense than what I wrote

Edited June 4, 2024 by Sugarcoat

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Because there is this asymmetry. Women are more intuitive and being feminine is about acting more intuitively, so logical advice is not so good for that. And men like logical, practical advice for how to be a man.

*This*

[soos_mite_ah]

Yes women are talking about this. You just aren't in the communities where it's being discussed. There are women who talk about being high value woman (as cringe as it is at times), not being a pick me (basically someone who throws other women under the bus for male validation), and there are a lot of social pressure around milestones like getting married and becoming a mother. As unfortunate as it is, there is a subset of women who will look at you as if you're less than or not womanly enough if you don't have a boyfriend or aren't married after a certain age or if you decide not to have kids all together. And even then, when you go into like the black hole that is mommy blogs, there are women who think that you aren't as much of a woman if you decide to get the epidural vs natural birth or if you want to feed your child using formula because you don't want to or you can't breastfeed.  There are women who don't see you as womanly enough if you look a certain way or ascribe to a certain beauty standard (and a lot of it has roots in racism as well). 

And if you're still not convinced, just search up finishing schools. We might not have the same language as y'all have about being a "real man" but that doesn't mean that we aren't having these conversations as well. 

Edited June 4, 2024 by soos_mite_ah

[Sugarcoat]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

This isn't true at all. It's just not as publicized or talked about as much or is a major factor for attracting men initially. It's easy for attractive women to attract men but not as easy to keep them, especially men of "high value". "High value" women, and I mean attractive women with substance, knows how to really treat a valuable man, how to conduct themselves in private and public, knows how to sustain the relationship to make herself wanted, needed and valued knows that it takes more than just make-up and a beautiful body. 

They work on themselves extensively. They may even hire dating coaches and go to therapy to work on their inner game. There are plenty of YT channels and private practices that cater to these women and are very successful. Anna Bey and The Universe Guru are two of the highly successful ones. 

Those pretty girls you see hanging out at bars and clubs and are snotty and immature and think they are something special just because they are pretty are not the kind of girls (probably, and I'm stereotyping here) are not the type of girls who will attract a "real high-value" man who is looking for a relationship or marriage. The women I'm talking about are undercover and don't flaunt themselves and left to be used and abused and taken advantage of. 

So, it is a thing, but not as publicized and the men that are after these women aren't hanging out in local bars and strip clubs either. To be a "real woman" takes more than just a beautiful face and body and these women are aware of that.

Men are more competitive so you'll find it more publicized and talked about and they compete with each other, the women I'm talking about are competing with themselves and levelling up on their own.

I’m not disagreeing with you, I agree with it mostly , what you just wrote doesn’t really go against what I wrote. All I said is that in this hypersexualized society in the west, looks in a woman is the trait that is valued the most and pedestalized the most in comparison to the rest, by society and then since women are humans will internalize this so the average young woman is obsesssd with her appearance. In contrast with men it’s more spread out with different traits being valued. So my spontaneous thought was maybe this is one reason as to why we don’t hear as much “how to be real woman/high value woman” because that language isn’t as much needed as the focus is mainly on one trait: looks. 
 

yes I know of Anna Bey for example. All of what you wrote is good. But I can say there’s wayyyyyy more women watching a makeup tutorial that what you mentioned

Edited June 4, 2024 by Sugarcoat

[gettoefl]

to a man, a fake woman is no bad thing ... she is doing her best with the goods she has been given ... and hey she has landed in my lap ... i'm not that perfect myself ... she has no need to be fake from now on god bless her ... fake was just survival pre me

women on the other hand want a real man and all wannabees are shown the door

[Sugarcoat]

32 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Yes women are talking about this. You just aren't in the communities where it's being discussed. There are women who talk about being high value woman (as cringe as it is at times), not being a pick me (basically someone who throws other women under the bus for male validation), and there are a lot of social pressure around milestones like getting married and becoming a mother. As unfortunate as it is, there is a subset of women who will look at you as if you're less than or not womanly enough if you don't have a boyfriend or aren't married after a certain age or if you decide not to have kids all together. And even then, when you go into like the black hole that is mommy blogs, there are women who think that you aren't as much of a woman if you decide to get the epidural vs natural birth or if you want to feed your child using formula because you don't want to or you can't breastfeed.  There are women who don't see you as womanly enough if you look a certain way or ascribe to a certain beauty standard (and a lot of it has roots in racism as well). 

And if you're still not convinced, just search up finishing schools. We might not have the same language as y'all have about being a "real man" but that doesn't mean that we aren't having these conversations as well. 

Those are all good examples. Maybe what I wrote isn’t such a big factor but still to some degree maybe it could apply. In the west tho isn’t motherhood becoming less and less central , I was thinking about that , hence why I wrote specifically referring to the west because it’s extra hypersexualized here with looks and sex appeal in the focus. Some Other cultures have motherhood and marriage as more central . Not denying it’s existence here but it’s not as central in mainstream society anymore

Edited June 4, 2024 by Sugarcoat