How to empower oneself with the past ?

[Rishabh R]

I have frequent thoughts of past like how people hurted me , bullied me and by remembering that I either say nasty things to themselves in my mind or feel angry. How do I overcome it or do I have to do self reflection which is feeling inwards?

[enchanted]

Meditate, this is an easy one to get over

[Yimpa]

On 6/2/2024 at 7:27 AM, enchanted said:

Meditate, this is an easy one to get over

Not very easy from my experience, but still worth it to overcome.

[Harikrishnan]

On 01/06/2024 at 9:23 PM, Rishabh R said:

I have frequent thoughts of past like how people hurted me , bullied me and by remembering that I either say nasty things to themselves in my mind or feel angry. How do I overcome it or do I have to do self reflection which is feeling inwards?

Vipassana will help you my friend.

[Lyubov]

First is realizing you are not a victim. I’m not saying you didn’t go through hard times but you are not a victim to them. They are in the past now and live on in your mind. You are the creator of your emotions, you aren’t the victim of them. You are creating them through the beliefs you hold about the past. There are beliefs you are holding onto which are not true and out of alignment with the truth, your true intrinsic value that you are always whole, lovable and capable. You have to have this dialogue with yourself, the part of the mind I like to call the inner child, and sort of reverse engineer the belief systems you formed over the years that are filled with these lies where you doubt yourself and doubt your value. It’s 100% possible. If you want me to share some resources that helped me let me know and I’ll post here. 

[Rishabh R]

@Lyubov thanks . Currently , I read the hardcopy of a self help book that I bought - The courage to be disliked and it said that my / one's worth ifor love and respect is inherent irrespective of external circumstances.

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, Rishabh R said:

@Lyubov thanks . Currently , I read the hardcopy of a self help book that I bought - The courage to be disliked and it said that my / one's worth ifor love and respect is inherent irrespective of external circumstances.

Exactly. This is really the essence of the work we are doing here and you are wise to notice that statement and see it. Are we born with value, inherit true value, or do we have to earn value? This is a good question to ask yourself. I believe everyone is valuable no matter what. 

[Ulax]

First, I'd try and crack mindfulness meditation. Find a variety of types of mindfulness meditation, and try to experiment with them until you find one that works. Ie mahasi method, kenneth folks work, shinzen young, Dan Ingrams work.

Second, also depth psychotherapy (ones that work on changing your unconscious) , i.e. IFS therapy, psychodynamic therapy, gestalt. Can also do somatic therapies like somatic experiencing, TRE.

Finally, you can look into psychological 'wiping' tools. These sort of clean out negative memories/ emotions. Examples of these include PSTEC click tracks, and EMDR. 

Heard yoga is also good.

[universe]

You want to feel and integrate these emotions.

Also you want to accept what happened and how you are reacting to it now. Be gentle with yourself.

[Rishabh R]

Guys , the thing is that I have immense anger against girls who didn't loved me /rejected me and because of that I couldn't sleep whole night. I am cursing them , praying that something bad befalls on the girls in my batch who have boyfriends. I am acting as tough those girls are present infront of me and I am beating those girls who rejected me and then went to some other boys of my batch. It is happening right now. I know that it is bad but I don't understand how to control anger. Is hoping that I will find some other girl and I need not care about those girls who treated me badly the key ?

[UnbornTao]

@Rishabh R You have to take ownership of your anger. It is your experience. Perhaps you can look into the hurt behind the anger and contemplate what in you felt threatened by whatever you assess as having helped precipitate that hurt for you. Start by acknowledging that you're responsible for your experience.

Edited June 7 by UnbornTao

[PenguinPablo]

Focusing on the negative is bound to lead you to failure

Do not dwell on the negative

Dwell on the positive. Dwell on your purpose. Where you're headed

This is a failure mechanism you are activating. If you activate failure mechanisms, you will produce a hellish reality

 

[hyruga]

You can read the book psycho cybernetics by Dr Maxwell Maltz.