That was profound: 5-MeO-MiPT + 4-HO-MiPT + 4-AcO-DET + 4-AcO-MET

[Keryo Koffa]

I felt confident this time, after not breaking through on 5-MeO-DMT and yearning to finally experience some visual hallucinations, I took 20mg of 4-HO-MiPT, 20mg of 4-AcO-DET, 20mg of 4-AcO-MET and one hour in 15mg of 5-MeO-MiPT. I thought the MET and DET might synergize by docking at receptors with slightly different structural extensions and extend the visual space, as well as the same happening for 4-HO-MiPT and 5-MeO-MiPT being both MiPTs with an offset position in the heterocyclic ring.

So then I'm waiting, getting excited, after half an hour notice the first effects kicking in, the visual field somewhat distorting, light geometric patterns appearing, insights flooding. I go outside to the balcony, the sun is shining so brightly and before my eyes I see the scenery morph from a mundane sunny day to a cartoonishly beautiful colorful environment, so bright and reminiscent of hot summer days from my childhood. I look outside and the field of grass becomes sharper, at first I see the color spectrum extended, then I see the previously even field of grass extruded upwards by a bit, creating almost spike like shapes.

I think to myself: what is true reality? The objectiveness is really arbitrary, what interpretation of the senses into an interconnected coherent image is the right one? There are so many ways to warp it without changing its essence, so many ways of interpreting it, of displaying it, of modulating the senses, of amplifying the emotions, of extending the visual field and its projection and interaction and synesthesia, the intertwining frequencies of various gestalts merging into an image, an already present, external sensations are merely hitting receptors inside, the world is internal, consciousness is like a barrier between the origin of the light reflection and the shadow side within that picks up the stimuli and forms an image out of them, an already present reality that only needs to be activated, an internal realm to be simulated, experienced, independent of what is going on outside, only needs to be illuminated by a certain activation pattern.

I keep theorizing about the nature of reality and where vision originates, a reflection of external reality but it always has to be interpreted from within by a context known beforehand, patterns already pre-existing, a reflection of an already inherent reality merely contextualized through a specific pattern of electromagnetic activation of eye-receptors

Hypothetically, if I was a metamorphic organism and could generate my own environment, sensory organs, etc. but operated inside humanly known confines until now, how would I go about adjusting a 3d context to understand hyperbolic geometry intuitively? The answer eludes me, a question for another time.

I only remain a few seconds, the sunlight feels like the joy of life but it gets hot really quickly, somewhat uncomfortable, like the kind of hot day you'd wear sunscreen for, I walk back to my room, lie down on my bed. I see an overlay appearing over my vision, following wherever I look, it looks like a 25% opacity overlay of a spherical structure divided into polygonal segments, it's fascinating to look at for a few minutes, there are also patterns projected onto the walls, repeating forms, recreated each time I change my perspective sufficiently scaling with the distance, I stand up and go to the living room.

Then it hits me, chemistry, physics, the interaction of light forcing chemical change within compounds, the standard model of particle physics where photons interact with matter in all kinds of ways to form greater structures, everything is truly light, is energy, completely interchangeable energy merely shifting forms. Everything is light, I am light, vision is light, sound is vibration, coming from matter, just another form of light interaction through a different medium, matter is energy is light, taste is light, touch is light, different patterns of filtering the reverberation of energy and matter, which are really just a higher more complex arrangements of light. Waves turning into particles and particles into waves, water, river, seas, waves, the hermetic principle of correspondence, a way of understanding different phenomena. Senses are just identifying patterns of light interaction, I want to experience synesthesia, I can because everything is made of the same stuff, I can taste the ground with my toes, because my toes are made of light and so is the ground, consciousness is a frequency. I could create new senses, experience new colors, I don't even need to grow new sensory organs, everything happens in the brain, I could just access it directly, simulate a whole new sensation inside, though I don't get that far. I browse impossible colors, overlap my vision with both colors above each other, but it doesn't generate the kind of nuance I expected. Clearly not enough psychedelics have been consumed, but I'll need a tolerance break so I'm not taking more now.

I enter the bathroom, it is very dark, maybe I can specifically stay in this space to experience and transcend fears, creating a "bad trip" experience might be exciting, I get into the bath tub and close the curtains, I hear ominous ambient noises and the geometric overlay of my vision turns into cross like shapes, I stay a bit but eventually it gets too spooky for me, the spider webs and dead flies inside remind me of death too much and the ominous noises are really something. I leave my clothes off, realizing that most of the time, I'm hiding behind them and lack confident in my body image, that's something I can accept now, I sit in front of the mirror and look for myself, where am I, between the eyes? The person in the mirror? Is that even me? When I stare for too long, the image fractalizes, the eyes become big, the figure deforms a little, it feels weird but interesting.

Over the next hours, I turn to the internet and brainstorm all kinds of concepts, since I am in a state of mind where I can think at hpervelocities and interconnect all kinds of concepts. I go over the classics, Sacred Geometry, Sadhguru, Leo, Seth, Spirituality, Psychology.

At the end of the Day, when the effects are manageable I go outside, roam the town, and end up walking to the outdoors pool at midnight, I am energized and physically moving fills me with more energy to contemplate the nature of reality and continue the stream of insights. When I finally arrive, I take my clothes off and go for a swim, the cold water is energizing and feels great, the cold is enticing and I flow with it, I see lightning far in the background but hear no thunder, I feel that even if it hit me now, I'd be content with moving towards the next dimension of existence, though there is much for me still to do here. I eventually head back and write down the stream of thoughts that continuously enters my mind. 

Here it is:

I am the alchemist and alchemy process, my body is the residue and after-image of my very own psychic energy out which which reality continuously emerges, my physical form is the karma of my desires, the body emerging from a single cell adopting and creating many forms from within, formerly part of two parents and their lineages encoding all past experiences all the way to source. Reality is interchangeable energy, the same fabric flowing through different gestalts, stories keep originating, all that is left of the past is the material afterimage, rippling echoes of strongly charged psychic energy, the conscious will and desire behind every action, inside the singularity which propels change, the experience of consciousness. Though senses like vision create an image, it means nothing without context but the context can only be recognized because it was already an inherent property of an inner reality that was recognized through the stimulation of that pattern by external appearance.

To gain energy one must give it, running creates energy, as above so below, physical and mental energies flow into each other, to move the body is to stimulate that link between immaterial and material, the rejuvenating life energy of creation, of being, of perceiving, experiencing, creating one's experience through exercising the desire for change, like movement, motion, emotion, energy in motion. I went swimming at midnight, the cold plunge was stimulating, energizing, freezing, I swam then stood in the water, to stay without moving felt homeostatic but moving created this kind of stress response, continuous movement made me accustomed to it but to change between moving and not moving stimulated that feeling again, discomfort, plunge, head in cold water, getting to a point of cold, where every other action is warmer by contrast, can I conquer this discomfort for good and make it's effects a dynamic part of myself? To be given free energy without having to generate it intentfully? Though the ever morphing reality itself is an inherent property of my own being from which it originates.

My life feels like living up to a past version of myself and trying to externally recreate that one's impressions, as all direction is already past. But those desires are no longer authentic, yet they hadn't even had time to be realized and appreciated. Everything changes, I cannot rely on external means, that would mean stealing energy from outside on one hand, but irregardless of morality it would make me reliant on an unstable source of happiness on the other hand and stop my own development by focusing on the skin I shed. That shed skin, an externalized residue of my past version cannot be used as context for the ever new emerging me, yet it's lens is something I incorporated into myself as I keep expanding.

When I was little, I was a very sensitive child, that never changed and it alienated me from my environments. On one hand I was unable to communicate my needs, on the other I saw the inadequacies and responses present in the external environment which validated my withdrawal. Others always seemed occupied with experiencing and stimulating activities while I never managed to find someone to share the mere desire to coexist in the presence of and mirror my own level of self-awareness and openness to communicate, though I did not myself send the appropriate signals to attract such an experience. To fall in love with someone feels like externalizing one's own qualities into an externalized other and the pain of not being continuously connected to them might be a consequence, that sounds like a scarcity mindset however, though so does outsourcing one's own qualities. To hold all those qualities within oneself means stability.

The genders never made sense to me, though it is understandable granted their portrayal in modern society. Every being is inherently both, irregardless of adopted behavior. I disliked masculinity for dulling one's feelings and causing suffering, and disliked femininity for suppressing one's own desires to maintain external appearances. To identify with either seemed like hell to me. Each seemed like a toxic coping behavior suppressing and compartmentalizing the true self. The insecure masculine inflicting external control upon others and oneself to hide past shame, the insecure feminine hiding the naturally emerging self behind facades and manipulating externally what it is not allowed to bring out internally. In truth, the divine feminine is the energy of growth and nurture, the process of compassion towards oneself, one's children, joy, love, happiness. The masculine a role model of interacting with reality and expanding oneself through learning and discomfort, a balance of life and death, as death is the change of form and life becoming dead when not dying. Tribally, males being stronger would be more engaged physically adapting to and expanding outside their immediate environment, while females would tend to nurturing and transforming the environment to make it home. It's an idea, a potential way to explain the physical manifestation of the genders. Though I've yet to see whether the split itself was to create new opportunities or self-disowning in its initial intent and how that more broadly corresponds to duality.

Teachers don't make sense, families don't make sense, others don't make sense, to be a teacher is to continuously teach the same thing forever mechanistically, though the activity might be simulating. Either way, the knowledge already exists and one is not growing, but repeating the same thing, very boring, why not just encode in one's genetic material to be automatically inherently acquired by the next generation? Why need another generation, why not just be it, at the frontier, always at the edge of expansion? Bad mindset? Children are oneself allowed to experience the world anew in a new way? To give oneself the opportunity to become one's own parent and correct past mistakes? But isn't that giving up the self for an externalized other? They can have life of their own just like oneself was such a life in the joy of creation, out of love? Not being insecure about losing a part of oneself and giving it life to be its own and experience the world and experience the love of bringing it into life and nurturing it, gaining experience and giving life in the process? Just like the sun irradiates energy?

When I was 6, I realized my parents would age and die before me. I was attached and could not bear the thought. I'd rather die first, not to have to experience that, but that would make them sad, and it would be sad by itself if the following generation dies before its previous one. Now it is fine, my parents are themselves and I am me, I grow into myself and keep changing, supporting myself in the process of becoming independent and individuating. If lightning struck me now as I was swimming and witnessing thunder far away, I'd take it as my higher self lifting me into a new reality and see it as an opportunity, but dying would be rather anti-climactic and make my parents sad. And I'm pretty young and could leverage this experience more, deciding to leave on my own terms after fulfilling more desires and burning up more karma, I also want to witness the technological singularity and see if I can become healthier until then.

My physical body is residue of my energy body, I keep changing and shedding my skin, dead skin cells make the dust that covers my unnatural living space, far from the natural habitat outside. I can use energy but what does that mean? Where does the energy come from, food? Externally? My body is organically interacting with the environment, turning pears into my own body, starvation uses up stored fat, but so does activity. That which gives me life is energy, yet I'm transforming energy from matter to matter. What is dying to starvation like and how come we can save up but not use excess energy and it accumulating in the body. Why is it not natural for excess energy to flow naturally and why can we not photosynthesize on our own? We have complex organs for filtering and processing matter into energy, it's like an innate part of our being, but I'd rather be light if I could. though then I wouldn't need all these organs and would retract them into a simple water metabolism that propels the body, but why need that when I can simply be an electromagnetic gravitational conscious field projecting myself across reality, but wait that's imagination, and I'm already capable of it, just need to learn to tune it. To exist in a dimension of limitless energy and freely change my form on whim spontaneously, growing wings or levitating, and then becoming human again, metamorphically.

Is limitation a self-imposed challenge for mastery, or merely an afterimage of a limited belief of oneself scaffolding karma to reimpose itself due to being a stable part of the acknowledged material world at this point, self perpetuating? Why can I not immediately take on all the characteristics of any life form I see and switch between them or share consciousness or maybe I can and I do and that is imagination which I use to balance a stable reality with that dynamic desire? Creating video games and fantasy settings as one more manifestation on another layer of reality, spawning all of fiction and our growing interest with these kinds of strories and humanity keeps evolving.

I have it pretty good, living in a first world country away from survival and suffering, maybe I chose to come here, maybe I already experienced enough of it in another life, maybe I was born so sensitive to not fall into that trap but appreciate the difference and not take it for granted, or to learn from this history of suffering on earth without being to involved in it, or to help the earth out of it, or to be able to witness it and make calls on what happens. I should be part of creating this experience, but shuffling material around is nothing compared to doing the esoteric contemlation that expands my understanding of myself and reality to even know what is a meaningful and healthy change to make but manifesting change through reality as a result on a scale I personally could never affect and accept that reality is my own fabric and by desiring a change it will happen, and making myself healthier will mean that I naturally act out of authenticity to heal the external but also attract change metaphysically by tuning into the kind of frequencies that end up materializing from within as the new world based on my own self-understanding and conviction.

Psychedelics naturally mushrooms, agents of decay, turning dead residue into pure energy, feeding it back into the cycle of life, catalyzing ego-death, of course, that makes sense, living is dying, still life is death, and death is alive because death is change and life is change, that which does not change is dead but that which dies is alive, dying is a quality of life, and living is a quality of death, but being static may just be a very high wavelength frequency that is still alive but very slow.

Separation comes together, hydrogen floats around and comes together to fuse and boom, star, energy, but then it fuses into heavier stuff, becomes planets and shit, but iron is the end apparently, and when the universe decays into homeostasis and a stable energy configuration, then what? That's dead and boring. Something will happen, and that long-scale model will probably turn out to be all wrong anyway. But without input from source, nothing happens, so that checks out, time would simply fly by.

BUT THAT'S JUST A THEORY, A CONSCIOUSNESS THEORY, THANKS FOR READING!

 

 

SECOND TRIP (5 Days Later) 20mg of 4-HO-MiPT, 20mg of 4-AcO-DET, 20mg of 4-AcO-MET and 15mg of 5-MeO-MiPT (Again)

It was the grief of the loss of the happiness that could come from outside created through an intently self-inflicted vulnerability to create an opportunity to connect over and reconcile it, but the resulting pain too great to to put oneself out there and bring it to fruition, yet the momentum generated, the yearning, the build up to that climactic moment of fulfillment ever rising to create the sort of meaning of long past reunion, to give up on that ever so longed for time, connection, desire, the risk of throwing a boomerang waiting for it to return, a lover to return from the line of battle, a sibling one hasn't seen in years gone overseas, a best friend promised to meet again from decades ago, to grief the loss of that opportunity to connect in such a meaningful manner and build up of emotions straight from the soul to bond over, a contrasting duality, a built up energetic charge, an ever rising kundalini energy, to give that up and reintegrate it into unity having never succeeded in the endeavor of honing it and beating impossible odds, tragic but the meaning returned into one's soul an immeasurable relief, giving up all relationships that once brought joy to focus back onto the unfolding life and give rise to the same opportunities that so readily created such meaning in the first place, to gravitate inwards instead of spreading oneself thin in the outside world

Polarity, feeling the depths of sadness, then transitioning into anger, colors changed, the fields reverberated, as if a strong polarized charge made of emotions materialized and lend itself to all surroundings through a sense of tranquil release and resonance. I could feel the buzzing energy in the air, the powerful electric waves spinning around objects, my own emotional state affecting my vision, my feeling, the vibration of energy, power.

I released the desire that bound me to misery, to hold onto the past and seek to reexperience it, to meet again old friends, to continuously seek their presence, but feeling miserable every second that doesn't happen, I gave up on that, I also gave up on my pain, to find someone to connect with over it, to heal together, reach the sort of understanding coming from experiencing such a background. And to find contentment in my own presence alone or to allow myself to connect to others without building up depths of understanding that make finding such people impossible.

Following this, I focused on new insights, remodeling reality, new understandings, my vision shifted, it separated into many pieces, my personality as well split into many unique parts spread over my entire life, I've been researching IFS, I've been studying the brain, unconscious lately, we all have many parts, many personalities, united, split, repurposed for many different situations, we switch between them naturally, not even realizing the seamlessness but also the separation and scale of difference and abilities between them. We each have split personalities, just don't usually struggle with them, most of the time very oblivious to their existence. When you speak a different language, your whole persona changes, the vibe differs, when you engage in different activities, when you hang around different people, when you enter various emotional states, when you remember different things, play different games, sports, conversations, ideas, passions, when you do psychedelics. I entered a mode of seamless integration of all the different parts within me:

Imagine a glass sphere splintered into a thousand pieces still floating at their original positions but now filtering the internal space inside the sphere through various unique personalities and sensory lenses and in the process synergize a new coherent image more congruent and flashed out than that of any shard or a single undivided sphere, for it compensates for the inaccuracies and lack of perspective of any one part and simultaneously in a feedback loop informs the understanding and filtering of each. It felt like unlocking my third eye, like letting different parts of me and the outside world enter me through the crown chakra, like I've become a medium, simultaneously perceiving so much information from so many sources, modulating between personalities and ideas, but still being an entity myself that holds the power to do so, seeing them as an extension of myself while embodying them simultaneously. It was beautiful.

[LambdaDelta]

Woah, that's quite the mix. Very nice!

[Leo Gura]

A++ trip report!

[Yimpa]

Wow

[blankisomeone]

ok ty 👍

[OBEler]

@Keryo Koffa I just can say awesome insights! You really know how to trip. Thanks for sharing!

I like your mindset during the trip ("a bad trip would be exciting").

[What Am I]

Great report, absolute madness. It always surprises me the types of doses some people can handle. Just 20mg of any of those 4-subs would be an event for me.

Have you ever tried 5-MeO-MiPT by itself? Do you see any value in doing so?

[Luminescence]

Lovely trip report.

Many details, really enjoyed reading it. I might have to try this combo!  

[Davino]

12 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

I leave my clothes off, realizing that most of the time, I'm hiding behind them and lack confident in my body image, that's something I can accept now

You know it's a good trip when you end up naked

12 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

I went swimming at midnight, the cold plunge was stimulating, energizing, freezing, I swam then stood in the water

Swimming while tripping is awesome, the waves of water really change your state.

12 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

My life feels like living up to a past version of myself and trying to externally recreate that one's impressions, as all direction is already past. But those desires are no longer authentic, yet they hadn't even had time to be realized and appreciated.

[...]

That shed skin, an externalized residue of my past version cannot be used as context for the ever new emerging me, yet it's lens is something I incorporated into myself as I keep expanding.

Deep

12 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

Every being is inherently both, irregardless of adopted behavior.

When tripping so hard you end up integrating both masculine and femenine inside you.

12 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

Tribally, males being stronger would be more engaged physically adapting to and expanding outside their immediate environment, while females would tend to nurturing and transforming the environment to make it home.

That's a great insight

12 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

I have it pretty good, living in a first world country away from survival and suffering, maybe I chose to come here, maybe I already experienced enough of it in another life

What is your opinion on multiple lives?

12 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

Imagine a glass sphere splintered into a thousand pieces still floating at their original positions but now filtering the internal space inside the sphere through various unique personalities and sensory lenses and in the process synergize a new coherent image more congruent and flashed out than that of any shard or a single undivided sphere, for it compensates for the inaccuracies and lack of perspective of any one part and simultaneously in a feedback loop informs the understanding and filtering of each.

Sublime

I once had an awakening like this but could never articulate it properly. The levels of wholeness and symmetric integration are breathtaking

[maxpechura]

For those who thought the report was TL. So they DR, please see the audio narrated version below:

Keryo Koffa that was profound 5-MeO-MiPT + 4-HO-MiPT + 4-AcO-DET + 4-AcO-MET.mp3

Edited June 1 by maxpechura

[Rahul yadav]

@Keryo Koffa how did you gain knowledge of these chemical concoction? Seems intresting. 

[Davino]

We are definetely having a Psychedelic Renaissance in the forum, great quality posts lately

[Schizophonia]

Why a such mix ?