Tired Of Life

[iTommy]

Hello guys. I´ve been feeling depressed and anxious for most of my life. I´ve been working hard, trying to see the positive in things, trying to change my thoughts in a way so that I am not in "victim-mode", and also look at thoughts as just clouds passing by. Yet, it just seems like an endless cycle of misery. It´s like, whatever I do, nothing makes me happy. I lead what others and I would call a “comfortable life”. I have no job, mainly because of the mental rut. Yet I practice meditation, have enough money to survive, practice guitar every day and so on. I am trying to be grateful for the things I have, the things I experience, yet it all seems fake to me. The only time when I honestly appreciate life a tiny bit, is when I am under the influence of psychedelics. Also, I am almost never excited for anything, things that a "normal" person would be looking forward to, I normally dread.

 

I really envy people, who find joy in being alive. I am 21 years young and feel unable to function in society. I am tired of life, tired of feeling depressed and anxious. “Life” right now is like looking through a clouded window, watching the world pass by. I get it that everything is temporary, yet I don´t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel for miles.

 

Anyone else who feels that way?

[Prabhaker]

8 minutes ago, iTommy said:

I´ve been working hard, trying to see the positive in things

Only a person who has negative thinking is attracted to positive thinking...A person who has no negative thinking will not think of positive thinking... Only a person who is not well thinks of medicine...isn't it. 

So to become a positive thinker u have to be a negative thinker first...or else who cares about positive thoughts...there is no need.
The issue is the negativity...and what u r trying to do is basically replace negative with positive...and there lies the whole problem of understanding.

The solution is not in bringing the positivity but getting rid of negativity...become bereft of negativity and u won't need any positivity. 

NOW, WHY DOES ONE HAVE NEGATIVE THINKING...
HOW DOES THE NEGATIVITY BEGINS...
FROM WHERE DOES IT ENTER.

YOU WILL BE SURPRISED TO KNOW THAT All YOUR NEGATIVE THINKING IS BECAUSE OF THE POSITIVE THOUGHTS THAT U STARTED WITH.
Please look in your life and see how the trap gets formed.
Positive thinking is always future oriented...pertaining to what u expect out of ur actions...and all your action is motivated by goals.
These  goals are part of ur positive thinking and aspirations. You set your standards or goals or objectives and the time frame and the whole road map as to how to reach them.
There is a zest when u plan all this...one is in a positive bent of mind, full of enthusiasm , energy.
 
Now when u plan it's only ur mind that works...but when u act or execute there is ur body and so many other factors which are involved... parameters which r not in ur hands, which ur mind doesn't know about at the time of planing .

The whole approach of planning is grossly optimistic rather than realistic.
It is based on what u desire and expect rather than what u may or may not get.

And when u start working or moving towards ur goal u realize u are failing so many times...
u realize there are so many compromises involved...so many struggles, so many bad decisions, so many pitfalls, so much tiredness...so much fight, and on and on.

Gradually negativity comes...the whole momentum of energy takes u turn bcos life is not what u had imagined while being in the optimistic frame of mind...there r  obstacles...the outcome is generally not what u had anticipated...and the same positive attitude turns negative.

That is why this world is full of negativity despite all the talk and lectures on how to do this and that, how to be positive...how to be happy....and all the "how to manuals..."
The more the talk of being positive shows the prevailing abundance of negativity...the more the talk of positive thoughts indicates the presence of negative thinking in the life.

13 minutes ago, iTommy said:

I´ve been feeling depressed

Remember this: Whenever you are depressed, wait for the moment that the depression goes. Nothing lasts forever; the depression will go. And when it leaves you, wait – be aware and alert – because after the depression, after the night, there will be a dawn and the sun will rise. If you can be alert in that moment. you will he happy that you were depressed. You will be grateful that you are depressed because only through your depression was this mint of happiness possible.

But what do we do? We move in an infinite regression We get depressed. Then we get depressed because of the depression: a second depression follows. If you are depressed. that′s okay! – nothing is wrong in it. It is beautiful because through it you will learn and mature. But then you feel badly. "Why do I get depressed? I should not get depressed." Then you start fighting with the depression. The first depression is good, but the second depression is unreal. And this unreal depression will cloud your mind. You will miss the moment that would have followed the real depression.
When depressed, be depressed. Simply be depressed. Don′t get depressed about your depression. When depressed, simply be depressed. Don′t fight it, don′t create any diversion, don′t force it to go. Just allow it to happen; it will go by itself. Life is a flux; nothing remains the same. You are not needed; the river moves by itself, you don′t have to push it. If you are trying to push it, you are simply foolish. The river flows by itself. Allow it to flow.
When depression is there, allow it to be. Don′t get depressed about it. If you want to remove it sooner, you will get depressed. If you fight it, you will create a secondary depression that is dangerous. The first depression is beautiful, God-given. The second depression is your own. It is not God-given; it is mental. Then you will move in mental grooves. They are infinite.

If you get depressed, be happy that you are depressed and allow the depression to be. Then suddenly the depression will disappear and there will be a breakthrough. No clouds will be there and the sky will be clear. For a single moment, heaven opens for you. If you are not depressed about your depression you can contact, you can commune, you can enter this heavenly gate. And once you know it, you have learned one of the ultimate laws of life: that life uses the opposite as a teacher, as a back-ground.

[Shin]

Try to stop porn and masturbation, and report in 2 weeks here.

Believe it or not, this is the biggest energy drainer there is.

@Scholar When I talk about this, people think I'm crazy  

Edited April 19, 2017 by Shin

[Scholar]

3 hours ago, Shin said:

Try to stop porn and masturbation, and report in 2 weeks here.

Believe it or not, but this is the biggest energy drainer there is.

Preach it, brother. 

[Loreena]

4 hours ago, Shin said:

Try to stop porn and masturbation, and report in 2 weeks here.

Believe it or not, this is the biggest energy drainer there is.

@Scholar When I talk about this, people think I'm crazy

True

@Shin  Finally somebody said it loud and clear.

 

Edited April 19, 2017 by Loreena

[iTommy]

6 hours ago, Shin said:

Try to stop porn and masturbation, and report in 2 weeks here.

Believe it or not, this is the biggest energy drainer there is.

@Scholar When I talk about this, people think I'm crazy  

I´ll try that! Thanks.

[Prabhaker]

6 hours ago, Shin said:

Try to stop porn and masturbation, and report in 2 weeks here.

Believe it or not, this is the biggest energy drainer there is.

2 hours ago, Loreena said:

Finally somebody said it loud and clear

There are states of depression in which a person can lose interest in sex completely. Some anti depressants can kill your sex drive. 

There are monks who force celibacy by eating less, sleeping less, doing minimum physical work. Do you think they become energetic, alive ? No.

A person can drain his all energy if he is mad after something , for example - earning money, he becomes insane.

A person can drain his energy in fantasizing about sex without indulging in porn and masturbation.

A real celibacy can only be consequence of meditative life, else sexual repression can't be sustained for very long periods.

[iTommy]

@Prabhaker Thanks for your posts, good read

[Shin]

25 minutes ago, iTommy said:

@Prabhaker Thanks for your posts, good read

Don't use his answer as an excuse to not stop porn and masturbation for 2 weeks.

Of course you can drain your energy in many ways, but porn and masturbation are 2 ways that not only fuck up your mind, but your energetic force, LIKE SO MUCH.

This, and thinking too much, which is the case of 99% people, and that is hard and can take a while to transcend, so that's not a short term solution.
 

Quote

 

There are states of depression in which a person can lose interest in sex completely. Some anti depressants can kill your sex drive. 

There are monks who force celibacy by eating less, sleeping less, doing minimum physical work. Do you think they become energetic, alive ? No.

 

This isn't even relevant to this post.

The guy seek a way to give him energy, I'm giving him the best and cheaper way there is (although it's challenging for sure) which is also totally natural, and you try to make him doubt about that ?

Do you want him to suffer or what ?

I know you like to view everything on every aspect, but with this kinds of answers, on a thread like that, it isn't appropiate, this is serious matter, the guy could continue to suffer for months/years, even his all life.

Edited April 19, 2017 by Shin

[iTommy]

@Shin I will definetly give it a go! 

[Prabhaker]

21 minutes ago, Shin said:

the guy could continue to suffer for months/years, even his all life.

There are people who practice celibacy for few weeks and then suddenly they lose all control, and over indulge in sex/ porn. This sudden over indulgence makes them feel depressed. They swing from one extreme to other extreme. 

A person who is living a healthy sex life can't feel depressed or 'tired of life'.  I always advocate transformation, not repression. Through a understanding , a healthy approach, one can achieve true celibacy, instead of swinging between few weeks of sexual repression and then few days of over indulgence.

[Empty]

@iTommy Do nothing!!

[Emerald]

10 hours ago, iTommy said:

Hello guys. I´ve been feeling depressed and anxious for most of my life. I´ve been working hard, trying to see the positive in things, trying to change my thoughts in a way so that I am not in "victim-mode", and also look at thoughts as just clouds passing by. Yet, it just seems like an endless cycle of misery. It´s like, whatever I do, nothing makes me happy. I lead what others and I would call a “comfortable life”. I have no job, mainly because of the mental rut. Yet I practice meditation, have enough money to survive, practice guitar every day and so on. I am trying to be grateful for the things I have, the things I experience, yet it all seems fake to me. The only time when I honestly appreciate life a tiny bit, is when I am under the influence of psychedelics. Also, I am almost never excited for anything, things that a "normal" person would be looking forward to, I normally dread.

 

I really envy people, who find joy in being alive. I am 21 years young and feel unable to function in society. I am tired of life, tired of feeling depressed and anxious. “Life” right now is like looking through a clouded window, watching the world pass by. I get it that everything is temporary, yet I don´t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel for miles.

 

Anyone else who feels that way?

I can relate to your feeling quite a bit. It feels like life has been a series of small enchantments that give way to disenchantments... and after nearly 28 years of my life, it feels like there are few enchantments left. But one thing that helps me keep going is in my knowledge of the fact that the enchantment and kiss of innocence never actually goes away. It gets obscured by ideas and mental frameworks, but the candle flame never actually goes out. So, like @Prabhaker said, you should look for the thing that blocks this light out from your conscious awareness and try to remove the barriers. Once the barrier is not there, the now-unconscious light of wonderment that may now be a distant memory, will effortlessly float to the surface of your conscious mind. It's like liquid or gas or even light: it always fills the space where there is no resistance or blockage. So, you must realize that something has caused you to be insulated from the experience of wonderment. Then let go of that thing through some form of inner work. 

To make an analogy, imagine that as a curious child you go around trying to experience the textures of the world. So, you touch things with your hands: a kitten is soft and fluffy, wood is hard and rough, water is wet and cool, etc. Then you got burned a few times maybe or got a splinter or two, so you decided to wear an oven mit to keep your hands safe. And you wore the oven mit so long that you forgot it was an oven mit and mistook it for your actual hand. So, because you're not aware that you're wearing an oven mit, you're puzzled as to why kittens are n longer soft and fluffy, and wood is no longer hard and rough, and water is no longer wet and cool. It all seems like the same feeling. Everything feels like the inside of an oven mit. Trying to think positively in this metaphor is akin to putting another oven mit on top of the old one, but the new one is fashioned to look like a human hand. Getting burnt in this metaphor is the whatever stimulus caused you to create a defense mechanism in the first place.

[TJM1959]

10 hours ago, iTommy said:

Hello guys

I'm confused here, do you have an issue with masturbation?
 

 

4 hours ago, Prabhaker said:

There are states of depression in which a person can lose interest in sex completely. Some anti depressants can kill your sex drive. 

 

3 hours ago, Shin said:

Don't use his answer as an excuse to not stop porn and masturbation for 2 weeks.

What are these replies addressing in his post about depression and do these comments even apply to his question? I didn't get a single message about masturbation in his "Tired of Life" post. Very weird or did I miss something? He asks if "anyone else feels that way" not about jerking off.

[TJM1959]

11 hours ago, iTommy said:

Yet, it just seems like an endless cycle of misery.

Is it possible to commit or recommit yourself to the possibility that breaking up this pattern of the self-feeding-cycle is very doable, you have the strength and determination and your result will create a transformative experience(s)? All the issues you expressed speak to being stuck, stuck in a cycle, I'm familiar. What it's going to take from you is a relentless pursuit to recreate another experience around who you are and who you think you are. From this point moving forward, be committed to stopping the self-beat up, know you have crystal clarity, you are real and deeply profound, you are unique, put a foot into the passionate river of love and know it's closer than you think. Not preaching but living proof here. So doable, pick one thing and start. Different action is required. Again, very doable. Peace to you.

[Shin]

7 hours ago, TJM1959 said:

I'm confused here, do you have an issue with masturbation?
 

 

 

What are these replies addressing in his post about depression and do these comments even apply to his question? I didn't get a single message about masturbation in his "Tired of Life" post. Very weird or did I miss something? He asks if "anyone else feels that way" not about jerking off.

Most people don't know about this, that's why.

Most guys thinks it's totally natural to ejaculate once a day, or even more.

In fact, doing it more than once every 2 week will impact your energy level, the thing is, almost nobody does that, so no ones know about it, no one can tell the difference.

We're all addicted to it, it's a drug, and it's the worst kind of drug, because it's normalized, because everyone is doing it ...

EDIT: I'm talking about guys here, apparently for women it's the exact opposite.

Edited April 20, 2017 by Shin