i became hyperaware of the infinite void behind my back and disassociated

[emil1234]

help lol, i cant unsee it

[Leo Gura]

Say more if you want help.

[Hojo]

jump in

[emil1234]

@Leo Gura its a bit like im a schrodingers cat. non existence is literally right behind my back. and yet this non existence seems to have sentience or awareness. its always been there, ive just never noticed it in this way. its also there when im in deep sleep, it basically IS deep sleep. 

dunno, it just kind of freaks me out theres an infinite void behind my back. and its part of me, im aware of it. or maybe its aware of me

Edited May 30 by emil1234

[emil1234]

@Hojo was my initial thought as well. i tried meditating on it intensely, which resulted in me disassociating lol

[emil1234]

is this the atman? or whatever. it seems pretty eternal and unchanging 

[Purple Man]

Edited due to the topic starter not finding it helpful.

Edited May 30 by Purple Man

[emil1234]

@Purple Man what the fuck that sounds insane 

[Hojo]

@emil1234 thats what you want. The point is to dissociate with body mind and reassosiate with void.

Edited May 30 by Hojo

[Daniel123]

Usually we are so focused on perceptions in front of us that when we deliberately focus our awareness towards the back, it feels empty.

I often do this during the day, it's an easy and quick way to get in touch with awareness and shift out of the small sense of self.

[emil1234]

@Hojo you might be right. i might have stopped midway because the initial disassociation felt pretty uncomfortable. however im a bit reluctant since i suffered from derealization for the better part of 2 years, and this feels pretty much like that. but im gonna be honest embracing the void i feel instantly better 

Edited May 30 by emil1234

[Yimpa]

These crocodiles can turn invisible now?

F***! 

[emil1234]

@Yimpa whats all this stuff about crocodiles

[Yimpa]

9 minutes ago, emil1234 said:

whats all this stuff about crocodiles

The potential for all your fantasies and beliefs about reality to shatter. If you can’t do that, the crocodile will do it for you 

[emil1234]

@Yimpa it seems losing ones mind is mandatory on the path

[Slizzer]

I have suffered from dissociation/derealization for quite some time, focusing on the  back cant really recommend it. ground yourself first.

Edited May 30 by Slizzer

[Yimpa]

7 minutes ago, emil1234 said:

it seems losing ones mind is mandatory on the path

 Not only losing but also replacing 

[emil1234]

@Yimpa yea i feel this hard right now

[Yimpa]

Just now, emil1234 said:

yea i feel this hard right now

Where do you feel it? 

[emil1234]

its like my mind/reality is being penetrated and inhabitated by the void