emil1234

i became hyperaware of the infinite void behind my back and disassociated

35 posts in this topic

it actually feels epic, and i was in misery just an hour ago when i was rejecting the void

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Just now, emil1234 said:

it actually feels epic, and i was in misery just an hour ago when i was rejecting the void

Good, this is only the tip of the iceberg.

Welcome to spirituality! 


I AM a goy 

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Posted (edited)

3 hours ago, emil1234 said:

@Purple Man what the fuck that sounds insane 

Lol

Edited by enchanted

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It's not only behind your back 

If you look at your hands , there is always a side you're not seeing.

Same with everything and everyone else

See video: what is actuality?


This is not a Signature    [TBA]

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@mmKay yes i noticed this, its literally the background of everything

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Sounds similiar to the headless way perspective Douglas Harding and Richard Lang talk about. 

 

Douglas Harding has a short book on this view where he goes into various challenges people experience with this way of seeing the world. You can find the pdf online. Hope it helps


"Only that which can change can continue."

-James P. Carse

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Posted (edited)

@emil1234

For Marc Leavitt "it" "went down" the same way, with some further Awakenings into Oneness down the line.

"The" Void. Behind your head. Beyond the bubble of the visual field.

Spaceless vastness. Infinite. Timeless. Deep Sleep. Death. Eternity.

Yet, pure potential. And actually, the groundless essence/suchness of every appearance. The substance-less "substance"or suchness of all possible realms.

Groundless ground, "falling" into the Infinite. 

"Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head"

Remove any concepts/imaginations of space from "it". Probing with your focus of attention into it only leads to more imagined space, but not spaceless/infinite. Make "it" genuine limitlessness. Boundless. Spaceless. Infinite. "It" is larger than an Infinity of space and endless dimension. "It" contains them all...

Jump? jump?? jump!

 

Now you just need to find out what you are, and what "others" are. And in what these states of void, dream, wake and deep sleep "roll" before.

 

19 hours ago, emil1234 said:

dunno, it just kind of freaks me out theres an infinite void behind my back. and its part of me, im aware of it. or maybe its aware of me

Maybe there is no "you" if "you" don't imagine yourself (I-feelings, I-thoughts)?

Maybe IT sees only ITSELF, in everything that appears which is IT, but no you?

Maybe there is only THAT? Impersonal Infinite Vastness, able to imagine "small" "you", I-feelings and I-thoughts imagined and moving in IT? Switch it/you on, and switch it/you off if IT is so inclined?

And maybe THAT is YOU?

And then, maybe, all "it" and "void" and "other" becomes Infinite You. Or rather, it is understood to have always been this way. Just with some illusions/ignorance before this true state of things was realized again.

 

PS: Leavitt, Enlightenment: Behind the Scenes. Could speed up the clarification...

PS PS: Like @Yimpa wrote, the tip of a magnificent infinite endless awe-inspiring iceberg....

Edited by Water by the River

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20 hours ago, emil1234 said:

@Leo Gura its a bit like im a schrodingers cat. non existence is literally right behind my back. and yet this non existence seems to have sentience or awareness. its always been there, ive just never noticed it in this way. its also there when im in deep sleep, it basically IS deep sleep. 

dunno, it just kind of freaks me out theres an infinite void behind my back. and its part of me, im aware of it. or maybe its aware of me

There is no better sensation for me, When at a given moment you are here and now looking straight into the infinite abyss, and suddenly the angle changes, you are the infinite, immutable, bottomless abyss that looks at the hologram without substance that before looked into the void.then you change angle again and you get stuck on it.

The bottomless emptiness at first is terrifying since it is perceived as death, until you realize that all that emptiness, in its infinite depth, is impregnated with you, you are that, that is you, and it contains everything.

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@emil1234 step on the soil with your bare foot, look at the son, breath, move. Do some grounding exercises and don't try to force any solution, it tends to get better with time. 

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@Water by the River i really like your posts mate. thanks for the respons, im jumping in.

@Breakingthewall yea its fucking frightening right now man, i feel like my character is slowly dying.im feeling a lot of anxiety. but i also notice that when i embrace the abyss, my misery and fear basically get instantly eleviated. but the character is holding on for dear life

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Posted (edited)

On 5/30/2024 at 11:36 AM, emil1234 said:

@Leo Gura its a bit like im a schrodingers cat. non existence is literally right behind my back. and yet this non existence seems to have sentience or awareness. its always been there, ive just never noticed it in this way. its also there when im in deep sleep, it basically IS deep sleep. 

dunno, it just kind of freaks me out theres an infinite void behind my back. and its part of me, im aware of it. or maybe its aware of me

The crazy part is I know precisely what you mean. You are actually close to enlightenment.   DP is enlightenment's evil twin, a phrase coined by Shinzen Young but it's very accurate from my direct experience as i have experienced both...

But if you want to break out of the state you are in get back to thinking that the world exists independent of you.  It exists in front of you, behind you, and behind the scenes.  Get back into the materialist mindset and your sanity will return.   Enlightenment isn't for the sane..in fact if you go all the way you won't have a back for there to be a void behind because you will be dead and in God mode.  You'll be completely depersonalized.

Edited by Inliytened1

 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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@Inliytened1 yes one of my biggest attachments on my journey has been my sanity. i havent dared letting go of it until now. Ive had several experiences where i felt like i was losing my mind, and it was fucking frightening, so everytime i felt like i was losing my self, i would always instantly stop all practice and ground myself. however right now its clear that i have to let it go. all bets are in, insanity here i come

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Posted (edited)

2 hours ago, emil1234 said:

yea its fucking frightening right now man, i feel like my character is slowly dying.im feeling a lot of anxiety. but i also notice that when i embrace the abyss, my misery and fear basically get instantly eleviated. but the character is holding on for dear life

As far as I know the only way to escape human misery is enlightenment. I'm not saying that I'm enlightened, I'm saying that I have a certain level of openness and I understand more and more what enlightenment means and what it implies. 

Seems that @Water by the River understand it deeply . How deep? As deep as it's possible? Difficult to say, but few understand even what it means. 

Enlightenment implies the complete acceptance of your circumstance spontaneously. It is what they call the end of suffering. Yes yes, now I would say: yeah but if they chain you in a medieval Persian dungeon etc etc. It's complicated to understand conceptually, but enlightenment implies that the pieces fit together perfectly. Enlightenment is not that, but implies that. 

Edited by Breakingthewall

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Posted (edited)

43 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

 

Enlightenment implies the complete acceptance of your circumstance spontaneously. It is what they call the end of suffering. 

This is good.  I like to think it's more of a complete understanding of reality - and thus - the ability to see the ego for what it is...and all of it's foolish tricks.. all of it's foolish illusions that it tries to spin.  It cannot compare to the higher illusion that God spins of course -- for God is the ultimate trickster - the one behind the ego puppet.  The ego's trickery is mere child's play compared to that.  But it allows one to look beyond these illusions and thus beyond suffering, so that when one gets caught up in it, they can quickly see through it for what it is..illusion.

Edited by Inliytened1

 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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