NN-DMT large dose trip report: from Hell to Heaven – Infinite Ecstasy

[LambdaDelta]

Some context: this took place around 3 weeks ago. Last summer I acquired 2g of high-purity synthetic NN-DMT, which to my bitter disappointment has not worked, despite trying very high doses via various methods like vaping on emesh/meth pipe and taking it orally with harmala extract. That's not out of the ordinary for me, as I'm also essentially unresponsive to other potent substances such as the 5-MeO series and DPT. I decided to give it one last shot with a ridiculous dose, and failing that, I'd simply wait and donate it to someone that could make better use of it.

I took 200mg of harmala extract followed by 400mg DMT 30 minutes later. After that, I shaved, showered, and almost forgot I had taken anything.
It was a nice day, so I decided to go to the rooftoop with some food and sunbathe for a bit. Once there, it didn't take long for things to go terribly wrong. By the time I finally decided I gotta get back I was already nearly passing out.

Barely made it to my apartment, reality was collapsing all around. Not in a metaphysical sense, that's trivial for me these days. This was far more sinister and palpable, as if pure poison was coursing through my veins. Not sure what's the exact cause of this, perhaps harmala interaction with tyramines. I haven't watched my diet as it wasn't necessary in the past, but that was with lower doses.

At home I'm feeling awful, grabbed a bucket to vomit, closed the blinds, applied cold gel, drank water. Couldn't puke, had a sharp pain all around the body, and a very strong feeling like I'm about to die. I take a pyrazolam pill in hopes it'll help.
Slipping in and out of consciousness, sweating bullets, mostly paralyzed, lying drooling on the floor barely able to move like in the Wolf of Wall Street Quaaludes scene. Things get even worse. Trying not to fight it to ease the pain, doesn't work.
Unknown amount of time passes, I have all sorts of thoughts, life flashing before my eyes. Should I call the ambulance? Or will this pass?
Feeling totally on the brink of death, if not within an inch of my life then 2.
A scene from a horror manga comes to mind, where a patient in surgery affirms he's going to make it, and there's a tiny ray of hope, but then the doctors say he's done for, which extinguishes the light.
Some more time is spent in this state, gradually getting used to the pain, doesn't bother me so much, or maybe it was just so intense that I completely surrendered and stopped caring about dying. In parallel I contemplate why are creatures so attached to life to begin with.
At some point there's an inflexion, and all the suffering turns into pure bliss and euphoria, like a tsunami washing over me. I look around my room, vision still blurred, in complete awe. Everything has come full-circle. I spend a good amount of time just enjoying all this in a trance of sorts. Worth mentioning that for the entire trip there was almost zero visuals.
Another shift occurs, I'm so overwhelmed with joy that I start rolling around laughing like a complete maniac, hitting the floor with my hands.
I get up and do this for probably another half an hour, an epileptic dance all around my apartment, sometimes I lay down, near the toilet, on the kitchen floor, it doesn't matter. Grabbing stuff, feeling its texture, smelling things. Dunno if neighbors can hear all this madness going on but I'm beyond caring. Everything's too good. Ridiculously good. I spend some time caressing my still wet hair, it's so silky soft. On the whole, not even MDMA can match the tactile enhancement I felt.
I fall on my couch, a bit exhausted but still full of energy. The fabric is kind of rough, but I'm enjoying even that. I remember Leo's words - "The very fact that there even is an experience, even if it's that of pain, is amazing by itself". That's exactly it. I managed to beat it into my memory and beyond that, so that every time I feel like bitching about something, this wisdom comes up.

"No sympathy for the devil. Buy the ticket, take the ride" describes this trip perfectly.
That hellish agony must have been the price of admission. Some may call me a fool for being reckless, and rightly so, but that's alright. Whatever happens is for the best. I contemplate all sorts of random things, looking back at life experiences, how great it has played out. Partly due to random chance, the rest due to my own efforts.
There's no ego death per se this time, but I recall all the previous ones I had, various aspects of them, which I attempt to formulate together. If there's no 'me', then there's nobody who judges or is selfish and biased, so every experience becomes good. All experience is my experience and all identity is my identity. Simultaneously everything and nothing.
Of course all this is easier said than done. But I shall strive to become a receiver of consciousness more and more. The interpreter part, while still has its place, is second order. That way life can truly be lived to the fullest.
Bunch of time has passed, I'm still admiring the tactile sensations. I put my leg between my coffee table clamps, which are a bit sharp, and press against them. Pain follows, but that's what I want in that instant. A contrast. That's what it's all about.
I move my head to look through the corridor into the kitchen. It seems so far away. Damn it, everything really is perspective, isn't it? Distance, time, all 'objective' things one can think of. I take some time to marvel at physics. The gravity that lets me stay attached to this couch and this planet, the light that lets me see the world, the friction between my skin and this fabric... Then the anatomy. Eyes that receive light, ears that perceive sound waves, the momevent of legs and arms, how precisely I can even move individual fingers and flex their parts. The skin that protects the insides from all sorts of things. The blood cells, bacteria, various organs, how it's all interconnected and working seamlessly in the background. The brain of course, which completes the puzzle. And on a micro level, the DNA folding, it's like a whole goddamn universe down there.

At this point I'm thirsty and have a bitterness in my mouth, but I don't allow myself to go quench that just yet. A bit later I finally get up, open the windows, feel the cool evening air. Some time is spent cleaning up the mess I made in the emergency state. Then I finally let myself into the fridge, drinking a sweet strawberry milk. Then I prepare something salty to counteract that.
After that, water. Just good old H2O. This mundane stuff is so good. I begin to realize more and more that there's actually no difference between the 10D fractal Infinite Love God realms and this humble earthly existence. Just more perception.

The trip ends. There's sure to be more ego backlashes and forgetfulness lying in wait. However a massive step has been taken up the infinite ladder of awakening. Every time more appreciation for existence, more peace, joy, love, compassion, and truth.

Edited May 28 by LambdaDelta

[What Am I]

Nice report, sounds like a wild time. It's especially interesting how it went so bad and then flipped so good. I feel like that's something that almost never happens.

3 hours ago, LambdaDelta said:

That's not out of the ordinary for me, as I'm also essentially unresponsive to other potent substances such as the 5-MeO series and DPT.

I took 200mg of harmala extract followed by 400mg DMT 30 minutes later.

This is blowing my mind. I have a lot of experience with pharmahuasca, and just the mere suggestion of 400mg makes my hands sweat a bit. For me, 35mg of DMT in pharma would be a pretty high dose. And you have a similar amount of insensitivity to the 5-MeOs? What ROAs have you tried? These are all psychs where it'd be a really big shame to miss out on them.

[Leo Gura]

The devil must be purged before God can appear

But be careful running around your house like a maniac. You could carelessly hurt yourself on something sharp or hard.

[LambdaDelta]

28 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The devil must be purged before God can appear

But be careful running around your house like a maniac. You could carelessly hurt yourself on something sharp or hard.

Thanks for your concern . Thankfully even in that state I can maintain enough self-control to not have to worry about stuff like that.

By the way, are there specific positing limits per day? I believe I hit around 20 before getting restricted for several hours, couldn't even send messages. Guess the limit is lower for new members?

[LambdaDelta]

1 hour ago, What Am I said:

Nice report, sounds like a wild time. It's especially interesting how it went so bad and then flipped so good. I feel like that's something that almost never happens.

This is blowing my mind. I have a lot of experience with pharmahuasca, and just the mere suggestion of 400mg makes my hands sweat a bit. For me, 35mg of DMT in pharma would be a pretty high dose. And you have a similar amount of insensitivity to the 5-MeOs? What ROAs have you tried? These are all psychs where it'd be a really big shame to miss out on them.

35mg of oral DMT sounds abit low. If memory serves, even Leo said to take something like 100mg.

I describe some of the 5-MeO stuff in this post:

In essence, it's impractical for me to do them. A decent trip would likely require 100+ mg boofed, which would be awfully uncomfortable and perhaps even physically harmful. 

It's true that I may be missing out on some aspects, but they're replaceable. I've made my peace with all this. There's other substances that work beautifully – 3-HO-PCP, 2C-E, LSD, 4-HO-MET, 2C-B... even the DOx series. Thanks to this tolerance of mine I can safely eyeball them and go really deep, where few would venture. 
Then there's the entire salvia domain. Seems I've a tolerance to that as well. A fat bowl of 40x extract only got me on the doorstep, after which I pussed out, trusted my intuition, and decided to leave it for now, will surely be coming back later though. Crazy new dimensions to reality will open up, I can feel it. Particularly excited about experiencing myself as inanimate objects and in majorly warped time, like living for multiple decades in a span of a few minutes. 
Have you heard about Salvinorin B Ethoxymethyl Ether? That may just be THE most powerful psychedelic, making the 5-MeOs look cute. 10x potency of Salvinorin A and several times longer duration. There's maybe 5 confirmed accounts of people ever taking it, with rather wild results. I'm looking to get my hands on it at some point, luckily there's some potential avenues available. 

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, LambdaDelta said:

By the way, are there specific positing limits per day? I believe I hit around 20 before getting restricted for several hours, couldn't even send messages. Guess the limit is lower for new members?

There are some limits, I don't even remember what they are at this point.

[What Am I]

13 hours ago, LambdaDelta said:

35mg of oral DMT sounds abit low. If memory serves, even Leo said to take something like 100mg.

Oral DMT is one of those things where there's a lot of natural variability in the dosage needed. I obviously fall on the lower end. It probably comes down to individual factors such as stomach makeup and how it processes the chemical. I've never gone as high as 40mg, but it'd likely be a breakthrough dose for me, so 100mg is out of the question. You can find many other examples of people with the same degree of sensitivity on DMT-Nexus.

That really is so interesting how your body handles psychedelics. There's something seriously rare going on there. I'm surprised even vaping doesn't bypass the tolerance. That could indicate it goes beyond just a low bioavailbility due to individual response to ROAs, since vaping is usually foolproof.

I've never had a major salvia trip or researched it too much, but I hear it produces some very intense spiritual states. You may find something going down that road that's even more unfathomable.