I Was Never A Social Person But I Learned How To Socialize

[eTorro]

Hello.

There's no such thing as a non-sociable person — everyone can do it if they train themselves, including the introverted ones.

The only issue is that people get lost in socializing — they get so immersed in it that they can't find their way out. They're stuck in a maze.

Most people — I noticed — are socializing to escape reality. They aren't interested in character growth, I observed.

While there's nothing wrong with being social, the issue is that it can be detrimental to you, and that is because you get hooked on parties, mindless talks, and casual sex (lots of it for most people, and it's not good for your soul).

One strange effect of socializing is that you start to think like most people. You become like them without even knowing it. You unconsciously become a conformist. Your mind gets infected with their way of thinking, and it happens unconsciously.

Regarding learning how to socialize properly, the issue is your uncomfortableness — a feeling or state of mind that doesn't allow you to express yourself freely. You're locked by a feeling of inhibition, mixed with self-consciousness and anxiety. And the antidote to that is facing it by being in the presence of others until it is transcended. You must feel the anxious feeling until it goes away, in the presence of other people.

Any pros and cons regarding socializing? I want to know your thoughts.

[DianaFr]

Depends on the type of people you socialize with. 

"You get hooked on parties, mindless talks, and casual sex" - this is a very specific type of demographic.

I don't know many things that feel better than being on the same wavelength with another person, sharing insightful moments, maybe working together towards a common goal. 

"Your mind gets infected with their way of thinking" - the solution for this is to surround yourself with people you respect and who have complementary skills and worldviews so you all foster each other's growth. You realize you can't make it alone and that you even don't want to since it's way more fulfilling to go the distance together. And this is coming from me - a life-long social anxiety sufferer. My condition has taught me to deeply appreciate human contact. 
 

[LambdaDelta]

My experience is somewhat different. Some years ago my social anxiety was bad to the point of being afraid to call the ISP and talk to the tech support person. Now it's all fixed and I can socialize really well without any issues, particularly meeting people where they're at. However it's still an activity that gradually drains energy in the process as opposed to increasing it, like a genuinely enjoyable pastime should. What's more, as I get better at understanding psychology, despite improving my interactions at a surface level, it's actually making them more boring. Before at least there was some mystery, but now that I can read most like an open book, there's not much point to it. You make great observations, but I disagree with "it's making you think like most people". If anything I feel more alien than ever, not in any negative sense though. 

Edited May 28 by LambdaDelta
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