is life pretender desire for parent?

[Julian gabriel]

maybe the desire for a life long partner is the desire to have a parent instead of a lover 

because romantic love doesn’t last 
it comes and goes 

so maybe a lover is naturally a temporary thing 

and a life long partner is the desire to return to childhood instead of growing up and realizing that the only one who is always there is yourself 

there is such value in being alone 
because ur forced to confront yourself without distracts, and that’s painful. 

maybe that’s what growing up is though

maybe if society wasn’t set up around living consistently to have a job and AI did the working for us then we wouldn’t arrange relationships in a way which prioritizes stability and consistency 

but instead feel the wave of romance going up and down as a natural thing instead of something being wrong 

[Lyubov]

It’s interesting to think about. I will share how I see it.

first off many people have a natural appreciation for relationships of all kind, friendships, romance, family. These are normal to have, experience, enjoy and benefit from.

I think in childhood though we disconnect from something unexplainably great, whole, spirit. We develop and take on all sorts of beliefs formed in our child mind. These beliefs aren’t true but they sort of warp our perception and we forget they are even there. We believe we aren’t whole, we lack value without others, we are unlovable without others. Often times this has happened due to how our parents were and hardships and unfortunate things we faced as kids as well. 
 

I do think many people sort of then use romantic partners to then resolve this misalignment rather than going inward and realizing one is whole and true no matter what. I don’t think this necessarily means all Romance and relationships are based on this false chase of value outside oneself. I do believe there are ways to navigate this domain of life with balance and of course to fulfill relationship desires. 
 

I also do agree that I think our unique situation in life also affects our relationship. There is an aspect to money, coping with life’s challenges, these do have a dynamic with in many relationships. I see it sort of like an orchestra. There’s many different instruments but if they are all tuned and playing in harmony, beautiful music appears.