How can I be more Self-Grounded?

[Davino]

I've been noticing that some situations make me shake internally, I still manage them properly but they take out my inner balance and stability. This desire has been coming again and again, Self-Grounding. I want to become rooted in myself when situations may come up in my life, to be able to stand my ground without shaking, to have a deepness of character. I have some critics to stoicism but there's something about stoicism that my personality and psychology would benefit from. It's not that I'm ungrounded but there are many factors from my personality to my physical build (very tall and thin) that are not prone for a strong sense of inner grip.

I was wondering if you could offer me any tips for becoming well-established and robust in my inner ecosystem.

[mmKay]

Let's be more precise here. Describe tangibly what situations trigger you and how they make you feel

I imagine you are talking mostly about social scenarios

Edited May 22 by mmKay

[Buck Edwards]

I think mindfulness helps a lot in overall grounding. It's a treasure. 

[Davino]

@Buck Edwards mmm true, I never thought of that connection.

[Leo Gura]

You have to expose yourself to challenging life experiences. Not just sitting on your couch. Undertake challenging projects like starting a business. This will force you to toughen up.

[Davino]

@Leo Gura I see, so it's friction and suffering what will toughen me. I shake because I subconsciously resist the pain instead of going heads on, if done enough, the initial shaking reflex will disappear and I'll be able to hold my ground in challenging situations. I feel self-doubt may also play some part here, tough life experiences will force me to develop an inner sense of trust. I'll be extra mindful on this and take action from now on.

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Undertake challenging projects like starting a business.

I'm seeing it clearer everyday, I don't like being an employee. That means I won't be happy unless I am in leadership positions or I have my own business and become financially independent.

You could connect your avoidance of hard work episode with your conscious leadership episode, I'm sure interesting insights and correlations will come up.

 

Edited May 22 by Davino

[MarkKol]

Shrooms

[jimwell]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Not just sitting on your couch.

Travelling solitarily, and living in a foreign country are also good ways to develop self-reliance. 

Facing your fears and traumas also build internal strength. If you feared driving because of the possible consequences, then you must go and drive regularly. If you got fucked because of it, dealing and overcoming it would make you stronger and wiser. 

 

Edited May 22 by jimwell

[UnbornTao]

Be honest and keep your word, even if given causally, both to yourself and to others. "Giving your word" isn't limited to language and applies to actions, too. For example, you may buy a set of dumbbells for your home gym but never use them.

Contemplate what integrity as a principle is.

[Quader]

32 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

 you may buy a set of dumbbells for your home gym but never use them.

Outside of consistent commitment, weight lifting can give you the grounding that will make you feel good about your ability to work your body. It's not about unlimited strength, it's about the capacity to not be woefully weak because you don't practice. Everyone is "riding a bike" - standing sitting walking, existing as a human. But because our vehicle is ourselves we consider it taken care of for granted. 

If you stand with good posture and you can lift yourself (that's it, no feats of strength) you can't help but feel good about existing without needing to prove anything to anyone or worrisome conditionals of happiness

 

[Leo Gura]

@Davino Rather than focusing on the negative inner stuff, you should just develop a positive vision of what you want to create, like some project, and then get to work on it without thinking about your emotions or limitations. Focus on visualizing the positive vision. If your vision is large then you will naturally be forced to undergo many challenges to actualize it, and as long as you don't quit, this process will make you stronger and wiser.

Dwelling on your inner emotional state is a trap. Just get to work creating beauitful things regardless of whatever bullshit your mind comes up with every morning.

Edited May 22 by Leo Gura

[Hojo]

Dont manage the emotions feel them in that experience but don't react. It will be awkward but you will feel better after it happens and then a month later nothing will have happened and you will see these feelings.

If you are shaking and people call you out just say yes im shaking. You are burning your karma off when you are doing this you will physically hot it is important keep a stable mind dont let the emotions stop you but you feel them and become very hot you are releasing alot of built up energy.

If you can keep level head during these situations you can do good. You arent these feelings it is just telling you this is a challenging moment for you and to not let it effect your reactions. You dont have to respond perfectly but keep your mind null while experiencing it and just go forward and if you want to cry afterward and then you will be healed.

A month later you will see these moments do not matter and it will help you become stronger in the future.

Edited May 22 by Hojo

[Lyubov]

Why do you choose to unground yourself? You're not the victim to this. You are choosing to do that even if it isn't exactly apparent how or why. You create your emotions through your beliefs. And you basically described an emotion. Why do you choose to create an experience you call shaking internally? 

Grounding yourself in truth is the way to go. Which the truth is you are valuable, capable and whole always.

You basically are describing the experience of believing you can't cope and thrive when you are in a situation. Why do you believe you can't cope and thrive in these situations? 

Edited May 23 by Lyubov

[Javfly33]

I think you will like this video (In the video talks about 'being vulnerable')

 

[Ramanujan]

On 22/5/2024 at 2:09 PM, Davino said:

I've been noticing that some situations make me shake internally, I still manage them properly but they take out my inner balance and stability. This desire has been coming again and again, Self-Grounding. I want to become rooted in myself when situations may come up in my life, to be able to stand my ground without shaking, to have a deepness of character. I have some critics to stoicism but there's something about stoicism that my personality and psychology would benefit from. It's not that I'm ungrounded but there are many factors from my personality to my physical build (very tall and thin) that are not prone for a strong sense of inner grip.

I was wondering if you could offer me any tips for becoming well-established and robust in my inner ecosystem.

you look like an intuitive. it is a personality trait. it is not possible to be grounded in reality if you are an intuitive

[Davino]

Thank you everyone, you all gave me a lot of insights and inner clarity. I know it's part of my maturation, I'm confident that with time I'll develop a strong sense of grounding and inner stability.

A virtual hug to each and everyone of you🫂❤️

[universe]

Some good exercises for grounding yourself more:

• Lie on the floor without a mattress.
• Walk barefoot in nature.
• While standing, feel your thighs and calfs and feet.
• Breath into to lower parts of your body.

[Chadders]

@Davino I think you’ll do well I can feel that. Maturity and vulnerability in your question

I find nature is the best way to feel grounded or just feeling deeply into the body. Changing perspective as well to recognise the inner turmoil is there for a reason. It is asking you to look deeper

Infinite blessings to you 🙏