How To Release Anger In A Healthy Way?

[Guest Annetta]

Hey, so I have a question, I am going to meditate in about an hour and I want to use the time to release anger.  I have so so so much rage.  I keep it all balled up, I think it would do some good to get rid of it.  I'm not sure how, though.  I've tried breaking old dishes, I've tried writing it out, I've tried emo-ing out to sad music.  Still pissed.

This is the last bit of advice I m going to ask for on here.
What technique is best for ridding the heart and mind of negativity?  

How do I feel this anger in the right way without intellectualizing it?

[Prabhaker]

11 minutes ago, Annetta said:

I've tried breaking old dishes

That's fine, buy some unbreakable dishes. 

There is no need to throw anger on anybody. You can go to your bathroom, you can go on a long walk – it means that something is inside that needs fast activity so that it is released. Just do a little jogging and you will feel it is released, or take a pillow and beat the pillow, fight with the pillow, and bite the pillow until your hands and teeth are relaxed. Within a five-minute catharsis you will feel unburdened, and once you know this you will never throw it on anybody, because that is absolutely foolish.

The first thing in transformation then is to express anger, but not on anybody, because if you express it on somebody you cannot express it totally. You may like to kill, but it is not possible; you may like to bite, but it is not possible. But that can be done to a pillow. A pillow means ‘already enlightened’; the pillow is enlightened, a buddha. The pillow will not react, and the pillow will not go to any court, and the pillow will not bring any enmity against you, and the pillow will not do anything. The pillow will be happy, and the pillow will laugh at you.

[egoeimai]

Annetta dear, there's no right way. Just release it. Just live with it. And just be around..dont try to escape from yourself. This is the healthy way.

Leo have said that when you try to distract from it,escape from it,its when neurotic behaviours take place. But living with the negatuve emotion,IS THE WAY to free yourself from all of these. Trying to get rid of it,causes much more struggle. That is what depression is. There is no enemy. There is noone that can put you in an unpleasant situation If you dont let this affect you the way it affects u. So when u make peace with the anger,then the anger gooooes away dear! Relax. Breathe. Good luck with your meditation.

[Guest Annetta]

@Prabhaker I've been trying to release this anger for over a month now!
(it is currently 2:22)
It's two in the morning but once it hits like around 5 and no one can see me running, I'll try it.

Scamper scamper.

[Guest Annetta]

@egoeimai I've been angry for years, I'm gunna try running this morning.

[Prabhaker]

@Annetta

When you are angry with someone and you throw your anger on him, you are creating a chain reaction. Now he too will be angry. This may continue for lives and you will go on being enemies. How can you end it? There is only one possibility. You can end it only in meditation, nowhere else, because in meditation you are not angry with someone: you are simply angry.

This difference is basic. You are not angry with someone. You are simply angry and the anger is released into the cosmos. You are not hateful towards anyone. If hate comes, you are simply hateful and the hate is thrown out. In meditation, emotions are not addressed. They are unaddressed. They move into the cosmos, and the cosmos purifies everything.

It is just like a dirty river falling into the ocean: the ocean will purify it. Whenever your anger, your hate, your sexuality, moves into the cosmos, into the ocean - it purifies it. If a dirty river falls into another river, then the other river also becomes dirty. When you are angry with someone, you are throwing your dirt at him. Then he will also throw his at you and this will become a mutual dirtying process.

In meditation you are throwing yourself into the cosmos to be purified. All the energy that you throw is purified in the cosmos. The cosmos is so vast and so great an ocean, you cannot make it dirty. In meditation we are not related with persons. In meditation we are related directly to the cosmos.

[egoeimai]

Okay whatever make you feel better . 

Kisses! 

[Prabhaker]

@Annetta

The psychology of anger is that you wanted something, and somebody prevented you from getting it. Somebody came as a block, as an obstacle. Your whole energy was going to get something and somebody blocked the energy. You could not get what you wanted.

Now this frustrated energy becomes anger...anger against the person who has destroyed the possibility of fulfilling your desire.

In life, remember one thing: never desire anything so intensely as if it is a question of life and death. Be a little playful.

I am not saying, don’t desire – because that will become a repression in you. I am saying, desire but let your desire be playful. If you can get it, good. If you cannot get it, perhaps it was not the right time; we will see next time. Learn something of the art of the player.

We become so identified with the desire, then when it is blocked or prevented our own energy becomes fire; it burns you. And in that state of almost insanity you can do anything, for which you are going to repent. It can create a series of events that your whole life may get entangled with. Because of this, for thousands of years, they have been saying, “Become desireless.” Now that is asking something inhuman. Even the people who have said, “Become desireless” have also given you a motive, a desire: if you become desireless you will attain to the ultimate freedom of moksha, nirvana. That too is a desire.

You can repress desire for some bigger desire, and you may even forget that you are still the same person. You have only changed the target.

Don’t take anything seriously...not even yourself. And then you will see anger simply has not happened. There is no possibility of anger. And anger is certainly one of the great leakages of your spiritual energy. If you can manage to be playful about your desires, and still be the same whether you succeed or you fail.

Just start thinking about yourself at ease...nothing special; not that you are meant to be victorious, not that you have to succeed always in every situation. This is a big world and we are small people.

Once this settles in your being then everything is acceptable. Anger disappears, and the disappearance will bring you a new surprise, because when anger disappears it leaves behind it tremendous energy of compassion, of love, of friendship.

[Guest Annetta]

@Prabhaker I will revisit your advice after my jog and see how I feel.  I've been thinking about my ex today.  I miss him.
He's supposed to come by in a few days to get something, and I read something about Woman, and it triggered me.

I don't want to see him with his new girl.  She looks so nice and kind.  
Anyways, enough of this nonsense.  I will take action in a few hours.  There has to be a solution to this anger.

[Guest Annetta]

@Dingus  Your like count is also at 222.

222... have faith.
Trust in myself.
Ok.

I would like to stop being  quagmire of negativity.

[Prabhaker]

13 minutes ago, Annetta said:

I don't want to see him with his new girl.  She looks so nice and kind. 

Anger, jealousy, envy, greed, competitiveness...all our problems are very small, but our ego magnifies them, makes them as big as it can.

The ego cannot do otherwise; its anger has also to be great. By its great anger, and great misery, and great greed, and great ambition it becomes great.

We have been taught to compare, we have been conditioned to compare, always compare. Somebody else has a better house, somebody else has a more beautiful body, somebody else has more money, somebody else has a more charismatic personality. Compare, go on comparing yourself with everybody else you pass by, and great jealousy will be the outcome; it is the by-product of the conditioning for comparison.

Otherwise, if you drop comparing, jealousy disappears. Then you simply know you are you, and you are nobody else, and there is no need. It is good that you don’t compare yourself with trees, otherwise you will start feeling very jealous: why are you not green? And why has existence been so hard on you – and no flowers? It is better that you don’t compare with birds, with rivers, with mountains; otherwise you will suffer. You only compare with human beings, because you have been conditioned to compare only with human beings; you don’t compare with peacocks and with parrots. Otherwise, your jealousy would be more and more: you would be so burdened by jealousy that you would not be able to live at all.

Comparison is a very foolish attitude, because each person is unique and incomparable. Once this understanding settles in you, jealousy disappears. Each is unique and incomparable. You are just yourself: nobody has ever been like you, and nobody will ever be like you. And you need not be like anybody else, either.

Existence creates only originals; it does not believe in carbon copies.

[Guest Annetta]

@Prabhaker What are your opinions on reincarnation?
@Dingus  It explained certain behaviors of mine that I have not been able to identify. It helped me to understand my ex's disdain of women.

What I mean by the ex, I don't compare to her.  I mean, his ex before was kind.  I spoke to her.  He chooses good nurturing women and ruins them.  She will go through what the two of us did if she does not have a good family to watch out for her.  I've met her.  I'll have to look at her knowing she won't believe what he really is, keep quiet about it.  And he'll mess her up if she ever marries him.

Edited April 18, 2017 by Annetta

[Prabhaker]

@Annetta

Pythagoras discovered the Western mind - the idea of reincarnation. Pythagoras first brought vegetarianism to the West. It too has some connection with vegetarianism. Again you will be surprised: all vegetarian religions believe in reincarnation.

Vegetarianism makes to move into memories of past lives easier. Meditation is like a big river — it will reach to the ocean; it is sure to reach. Meditation will surely bring you to God. There are, however, other intermediary applications of meditation also. Like small tributaries these can be directed into canals of meditation. Jati-smaran is one such auxiliary method of meditation. We can channelize the power of meditation towards our past lives also; meditation simply means the focusing of attention. There can be applications where one’s attention is focused on a given object, and one such application is jati-smaran — focusing on the dormant memories of past lives. 

Buddha has called this alaya-vigyan. There exists a corner in our minds which Buddha has named alaya-vigyan. Alaya-vigyan means the storehouse of consciousness. As we store all our junk in the basement of a house, similarly, there is a storehouse of consciousness that collects memories. Birth after birth, everything is stored in it. Nothing is ever removed from there, because a man never knows when he might need those things. The physical body changes, but, in our ongoing existence, that storehouse continues, remains with us. One never knows when it might be needed. And whatsoever we have done in our lives, whatsoever we have experienced, known, lived — everything is stored there.

[Danielle]

Go somewhere where no one can hear you, a forest perhaps, and scream. As simplistic (or crazy) as it may sound, it really does help with anger

 And when you get rid off it, you can enjoy the nature 

[Toby]

I've had the best experiences with that issue with
- "anger meditation" as described by Leonard Jacobson in "Journey into now"
- Somatic experiencing
- guided meditation "working with negative emotions" by Adyashanti as included in his 10-15$ "guided meditations".

[SOUL]

What works for me is drumming...hand drumming. I found that bare hand slapping skin is a wonderful way to vent anger.

It also has some awesome side effects for being a meditate tool as well as emanating beautiful sounds that some interpret positively.

 

[Prabhaker]

4 hours ago, My_Name_Is_Mud said:

As Jesus said, partake in my flesh.

I agree. I think he was supporting cannibalism !

Jesus said that, "Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.

[Guest Annetta]

Went for a jog this morning, bought a doughnut at Safeway.  It helped tremendously.  Meditated and released feelings of anger for the ex, made an appointment with him so he can get the rest of his stuff.
Thank you

[Prabhaker]

1 hour ago, Prabhaker said:

Jesus said that, "Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.

@Annetta

Each disciple has to become a cannibal -- because he has to eat his Master. Don't take it literally. It is just a metaphor, but very significant, because eating means you absorb, you digest. The Master becomes part of you, is no more separate. That's what Jesus says at The Last Supper when he is taking leave of his disciples. He breaks bread and gives the bread to his disciples and says, "This is me. Eat it, this is my flesh"; pours wine and gives it to his disciples and says, "This is me. Drink it, this is my blood." Again this is a metaphor. He's saying to his disciples, " Eat your Master, digest your Master, so there is no division between you and your Master."