Is this girl damaged?

[Wisebaxter]

I asked a random girl outside my uni halls today if she knew a weed dealer and she got extremely friendly fast, saying she'd seen me around and stoner's should stick together, we should hang out etc. I'm 45, she's 25, very attractive, petite, perfect body, half Romanian, half, Greek. Lip filler. The sort of woman I never have any reason to talk to. After meeting her dealer with her in a graveyard, she carried on talking about how we were gonna be friends, inviting me out on her birthday. She also said she likes to tease men, telling me I was hot and that she 'does' older guys. I'm serious! I had an intuition that she's used to doing this though and I wasn't overtly attracted to her as she just seemed a bit unhinged. She said 'do you like my ass?' and started twerking for me in an alleyway. All the while she's saying she's falling for this guy she's banging called 'Tim,' whom we met earlier, a chubby guy with a beard and big dick (apparently) that seemed very pleasant. I told her I can twerk too and she checked out my ass as I did so, resting her hand on it. But still, I knew what I was dealing with. So that sets the scene. At the end, please tell me, is she an enlightened master or...does she require many years of therapy. 

We go to her room for her to roll a joint. It's really bad in there. Stuff thrown everywhere, carpet covered in crap. The sink was brown and dirty, full of brown water with a plunger stuck in it. She said it's been blocked for ages but she hasn't told maintenance. She can't tell me why exactly. Make what you will of this. She's studying philosophy. So we're laughing together and having fun, I'm making her feel good and celebrating who she is, as I felt she needed it. She tells me she's also an escort and she loves it because she's a 'nasty' bitch. I said 'what does that mean?' She said it means she just loves sex. She says she can make a couple of grand from a trip up to London, that 'the guys are so rich and hot too.' She shows me an Indonesian guy sitting on an expensive looking porch. She then shows me how flexible she is and puts her foot over her head. I was enjoying her company and so swept a long with it all I hadn't had time to reflect on how bizarre it all was.

We go to the park and start smoking a joint together. I quite like her. She's very herself and seems very energetic, lively and happy. I pay her lots of compliments and she hugs me. I start to appreciate how hot she is. Exotic, with stunning eyes, looks like something from assassins creed, like an Egyptian Goddess. I sang an Ancient Greek Hymn called ‘Song to the Muse’ the night before, that I’m working on for a uni project. I briefly wonder if I summoned her somehow.
She approaches a guy lying on a park bench who looks homeless for a lighter but stays and speaks to him for about 7 minutes whilst I wait on the bench. She comes back and tells me he's really hot and has nice eyes, as I watch him start juggling skittles. I know, just one of those days. It gets a lot weirder.
She keeps telling me we're kindred spirits. I toy with the idea of being friends with her as she's so beautiful to look at and I like her authenticity and the fact she doesn't hide anything about herself is refreshing. She's very smitten with Tim. She says he might want her to live with him next year but isn't sure. She can't say why, but thinks it might be because he thinks she wants more. She then starts talking about the local rich guys she hooks up with and shows me a picture of some preppy looking guy on a balcony, who looks very upper class. She says 'I sucked his dick yesterday. He's gonna pay for my boob job.’ I don't know what to think now. I'm just rolling with it as best I can. I ask 'does he know he is?' She gets a bit triggered and says 'Oh he knows, he knows if he wants to fuck me all the time he'll have to! I ask for her views on Andrew Tate as she almost reminded me of one of the girls you see in his videos. I'm just trying to fit her into some kind of context I can make sense of. She tells me he fucked with the wrong women as Romanian women aren't stupid. He thought they were, treated them badly and now he's paying for it. She was speaking as if she was one of those women and started showing me Romanian supermodels. She seemed to be glamourising her lifestyle. She told me she spends hundreds of pounds on clothes and you could tell by looking her, she was dressed very well and looked great. But I kept thinking about that plunger in the sink. 

She takes my number and we both walk back to our rooms. She phones 10 minutes later and invites me to the uni canteen for food. She's wearing a revealing top where you can see the sides of her tits. At this stage I'm wondering if I can fuck her and I'm also a little swept away by her beauty and still finding her quite interesting. I never meet women like this.  We grab some shitty fish and chips and she leads back to her dirty room. On the way she hints she had a bad upbringing and some bad issues with her dad. I sit on her dirty chair and try to eat gracefully out of a styrofoam food carton with a wooden knife and fork. She keeps talking about Tim. 'Do you think he's into me?' I'm thinking, 'how the fuck do I know?' I suggest she talks to him but she says he can't. She can't really say why, but is acting like she's in love. Now she tells me he comes over at least once a week and eats her pussy, for about four hours. Four hours!? That can't be true. Who is this legend they call Tim? 

Then she gets really intense, talking about how she's a gemini and they have a dark side. Whilst picking up pieces of grime off the floor she tells me Kali speaks to her on a regular basis and then throws me a heavy book on witchcraft. Now she's staring at me with this intense gaze as she opens the book and shows me Kali surrounded by severed heads and covered with blood. I mention Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom but she stares at me blankly. She says Kali is the ultimate power and cannot be dominated by men. She was told by a Romanian Gypsy that she should study Kali and Kali guides her all the time. She started to imply her carefree hedonistic lifestyle is somehow in line with the energy of Kali, who wants her to become a leader and end the suffering of humanity. I'm wondering where the sucking off rich guys for implants falls into that, but I'm trying to stay open. At a couple of points I'm almost entranced, quite high, listening to her talk about Kali in her Romanian accent. She loos like some temptress or an Egyptian deity perhaps.  We have an interesting talk about Non Duality and she of course sees herself as a spiritual empath. When I confide about my recent break up she again just stares at me blankly until I feel self conscious and just wrap up the story quickly, getting back to talking about her. She says 'wanna see my tits?' Somehow I knew this was coming. Sounding like some bumbling Englishman in a Hugh Grant film I say 'well, yes, of course, if you'd like to show me.' It didn't seem like a come on to me. I don't know what it was. Perhaps because we'd been talking about how hot she is and she was wanting more compliments. She says 'they're a bit saggy,' and they were, but still attractive. She tells me Tim wants his friends to fuck her if she moves in there. She says she's up for that. Now I just want out of there. I tell her I'm gonna go chill and I'm off. 

I get a text from her five minutes later asking if I have a spare iPhone charger. I text her back to say I'm really not looking for a friend but I'll see her around.
 

What a wild ride! Was she somehow, by giving into her passions and living through the senses, embodying an aspect of the divine? She seemed totally ungrounded, obsessed with the superiority of her intuition over common sense. I don't think I've ever mer a girl that hot and that fucked up. She was sweet too, very warm. But towards the end she said ‘I wonder what Tim thinks about us together.’ I saw that coming too. She wants to use me as tool. Me and my iPhone charger. At least I got some weed! 
 

She calls me ten minutes later and I reiterate that I’m not looking for a friend and I’m a private person. To be honest I can see this chick is fucking bananas and would be too much. She asks ‘do you fancy me?’ I say ‘yeah sure you’re hot, why do you ask?’ She says as that would make more sense as to why you don’t want to hang out.’ Seeing an opportunity to make it easier for her I say ‘yeah yeah, sure, that’s it, you’re waaaay too hot, soo, you’d become my Tim.’ She giggles. She asks ‘did you think about me being your girlfriend?’ I concede that I did have a brief moment when I entertained the idea but quickly snapped out of it. I can see she likes men fawning over her. She says ‘well, I would be up for stuff with you…we could hang out some more, it’s quite likely. Let’s go to the park.’ I can sense that sex really means nothing to her, so much so that she’ll use it to get something as simple as friendship, or the offer of it at least. I say ‘you’re just a bit lonely and you want a friend, you don’t really wanna have sex that much right?’ She says ‘err, yeah that’s it.’ I say that she can call me if Tims ever busy and she needs a pussy eating stand in. She laughs, says ok then hangs up 

if she calls me to eat her pussy I still don’t think I’ll do it. It doesn’t feel right some how, like I’d be taking advantage of a mentally unhinged person. 

Edited May 18 by Wisebaxter

[Butters]

I just hope you go on more crazy dates so we get more of this, that was a great read 😁

[Wisebaxter]

@Butters haha that’s nice to hear. Makes me happy someone read it. I’ve added some more if you’re interested as she phoned me again! 

this shit never happens to me! Not like that any way. It was bonkers. 

[Buck Edwards]

If a girl twerks in an alleyway, that's bad news. 

[Wisebaxter]

@Buck Edwards

25 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

If a girl twerks in an alleyway, that's bad news. 

🤣😂 I know, right? It was the most surreal experience. As we were walking along she kept saying ‘do you like my ass?’ Man I feel sorry for her. She’s gone in the head. The saddest thing was that she couldn’t see how unhealthy it all was. Somehow she had this mentality that she was enjoying being a play thing for men. She straight away felt the need to get my validation. She’d made up some spiritual cock and bull story about deities to justify having no restraint, saying that the more restrains you have, the more attached to ego you are, you just have to flow like consciousness does and live life through the sense. It’s a nice idea at least. I just wanted to say ‘some fraudster has made you obsessed with Kali and you just need to wake the fuck up. You’re not sucking dudes off because you’re doing the work of the earth goddess, you’re just using that as a romantic notion to justify it. But what do I know? I could be wrong. God clearly likes to dress up as a Romanian sex addict with spiritual pretensions. Can’t argue with that. 

I feel slightly on edge now. She lives in my building. I won’t have seen the last of her I’m sure 

Edited May 17 by Wisebaxter

[PenguinPablo]

stay tf away

[Wisebaxter]

1 hour ago, PenguinPablo said:

stay tf away

@PenguinPablo yeah man, you’re not wrong. I’m gonna avoid her at all costs. It was one of those situations you get swept along with. I've had enough time to reflect now and I've deleted my instagram account so she can't contact me. I’m overly nice too so I find it hard to set boundaries. I should have just got the weed and fled as soon as possible. It also shows the power an attractive woman can have over you. It's like your brain takes a hike. 

Edited May 18 by Wisebaxter

[numbersinarow]

"I briefly wonder if I summoned her somehow."

Supernatural luck summoned her. I've been to 600 on the hawkins scale and never had an experience that would make me think "I summoned her and she's perfect for me."

This forum keeps begging the question, why is the "God gave me a girlfriend." phenomenon a thing, and some women act with disdain and sadism for men who they aren't into, and other girls are way, wayyy too horny for those exact same men?

[Applegarden8]

Tnx for the story. I would not engage with such a person, that's like the opposite of me.

[Hojo]

Probably on meth

[integral]

“”A Manic Pixie Dream Girl (MPDG) is a stock character type in fiction, usually depicted as a young woman with eccentric personality quirks who serves as the romantic interest for a male protagonist. The term was coined by film critic Nathan Rabin after observing Kirsten Dunst's character in Elizabethtown (2005).””

Unfortunately these girls rarely really exist, I think your girl is the centre of attention type ESTP, loves the spotlight. Young dumb, Playful to a fault, You only live once paradigm.

Edited June 6 by integral

[universe]

Is she damaged?

On 17/05/2024 at 10:06 PM, Wisebaxter said:

she hints she had a bad upbringing and some bad issues with her dad.

Well this kinda gives you the answer. Everyone has some issues growing up. But the spectrum is wide and she seems to lean on the "having more issues" side.

 

In general, people with low self-esteem / unregulated self-esteem tend to act manipulative in order to get validation. But the validation is never enough for them, because it can only come from within themselves.

You setting boundaries for such behaviour is a sign that you are mentally healthy.

Manipulative people tend to find "victims" that are used to this kind of behaviour. So if someone themselves has a low self-esteem / unregulated self-esteem they won't set proper boundaries because they want validation themselves or because they are used to being treated like this.

In a sense mentally healthy people can not fall victim to this behaviour, because they simply wouldn't allow for it to go on in order to become mentally abusive.

[Schizophonia]

It’s too long and evasive, it hurts my eyes. Concretely are you into her ? 

Edited June 7 by Schizophonia

[Basman]

There are clearly positive aspects to her, playful, friendly, beautiful. But she's clearly a mess. She seems desperate for some kind of unconditional love which could be a hold-over from unmet childhood needs and she seems to project that need very intensely. Wanting unconditional love from adults is a childish notion and maybe why she is so obsessed with this "Tim" guy. He seems to her like someone who is going to give her the kind of love she craves.

If you where unscrupulous you could easily use her for sex. I can see it being harder to resist the temptation if you are more desperate for sex. she is supposedly beautiful.

Edited June 8 by Basman

[Jannes]

I can't remember the last time when I was so immersed in a story. Would love to hear more about it on the one hand but it would probably be wise to create some distance. 

[Wisebaxter]

@Jannes @Butters Ok if you want an update I have more for you. Boy do I have more

So as I said I did what @universe said was a healthy thing and cut contact with her, but unfortunately I have a weed addiction that causes me to behave in ways that are against my best interest....

So, I bump into her in the corridor and it's awkward so I make friendly chit chat. Once or twice I'd thought about contacting her again as my weed had run dry and I use it for creative work on my postgrad. So she asks me if I wanna smoke and I say sure - BAD IDEA. Everything is fine at first, we sit in the park, have a laugh, she even holds my hand briefly as a gesture of affection. I notice now how absolutely self absorbed she is. She's incapable of engaging with anything I say about my own life or really about anything that doesn't involve her looks, which she still talks about constantly. 'Do you think I'm the hottest girl on campus?' 'Well, I say, I can't really comment as I haven's seen them all.' I could think of many girls that were. Tim the pussy eating hero has now quit his job as her personal muff muncher and she's realised he's not that into her.
So this time around I'm a bit more honest with her. 'I really think that when we're obsessed with our looks it's because we feel we're missing something on the inside...' 'I'm not obsessed, she remarks. She then tells me that she's so lonely and bored most of the time that she wants to die. 'Oh, I Say, that bad huh? I know how it feels to be alone and my art keeps me sane. Do you have any hobbies that you can focus on?' 'Well I do only fans...Cam stuff. Do I have a big ass?' She stands up and juts out her ass. 'I wouldn't say it's big'' I assumed this was the right answer. 'What, you're saying it's not big? Come on I'm a white girl with a black girls ass, right?' Well' I say, I you have ass, but to me it's not a big ass. I've dated girls that have big asses.' 'But were they fat?' she asks. 'Yes they were fat.'
So after we'd determined that my perception of her ass is in line with hers, we walk back to my room and she starts making another joint. I ask her if she's ever considered just settling down, stopping all the whoring, web cam stuff etc and finding a boyfriend. 'Yeah I do need a man to protect me and manage my finances.' This would have been Andrew Tate's call to launch into his sales pitch I'm sure. She starts talking about the guys she's been involved with and it turns out she's hiding at university because she got into some trouble in London with some guys who were obsessing over her. She'd let one of them fuck her twice, 'only'  twice, and another time him and his buddy fucked her together  - and they didn't even pay her! I remark that it might be best to move away from all that kind of stuff and lay low, perhaps change up the lifestyle to stay safe. 'But it wasn't my fault! In London people just harass you in the street for being beautiful, plus I look like I have money!' My minds goes back to the £100 Tahini she let me taste. Was that a lie? Does this chick have dollar or is she also a compulsive liar? I can't work out if she looks monied or trashy as fuck. But apparently those guys wanted to rob her. I can see she hasn't thought to take any responsibility for any negative effects of her lifestyle and sees herself as an innocent target. I start feeling like Louis Theroux, sitting there asking her questions and being all sensitive. 
At this point she whips her tits out again and asks me if they're saggy. I say 'they do have some sag,' but perky tits wouldn't suit you.' I didn't know what to say really.
Every attempt I make at a normal conversation falls short. She ignores any attempt I make to talk about myself. She then starts showing me her cam moves. She lifts up one leg while standing and holds it to her head. 'cool, I say, anything else?' I feel bad as she looks a little worried, as if that's all she has. 'Well, there's this... She then starts awkwardly trying to do some weird hand stand thing against the wall and it's painful to watch.' Wow! I say. 
I sit there bored as she uses her phone. She says let's go smoke this and I tell her I'm good, I'm feeling tired. 

Ok, now shit gets really real. The next day I decide all I need is to meet her for a joint and I can then get into my work, so I message her 'thanks for the smoke.' She takes the bait. 'wanna smoke again?' 'Sure!' Ok I'll be down soon...' She arrives a bit later but says 'oh some guy wants to smoke with me,' then leaves straight away. Ok...I don't mind too much, as long as I'm in the queue for a joint. She takes ages though so I message her and say 'I'm going out, maybe some other time.' Sorry, she says 'I just had sex.' Woah, that's nuts. Sure she's at uni, I get it, it's normal to an extent but still. She comes to my room again and shows me a load of shroom chocolate she's just bought. 'You and me are gonna go and smoke with Tim,' she says. 'I'm not smoking with Tim, I tell her, but go do your thing.' Before she leaves I ask her if I can pinch enough weed for a bong and she refuses. 'I only have a small amount. She leaves and a minute later I get a text saying 'I'm not gonna lie there is weed missing.' I assume she means she just went to buy some and got ripped off as she said she only had a small bit, but the words 'I'm not gonna lie' worry me as they imply she's accusing me. Anyway I say 'I thought you were buying mushrooms not weed.' She leaves an angry emoji on the text. Whoa, I think. So here's how the messages carried on:

As I'm texting this stuff I'm thinking 'this is not good,' she's getting triggered. I had wanted to just block her but I realised if I did she'd take it as an admission of my guilt. As you can see I refused her entry to my room. At this point I just wanted out again. I'd already looked, the weed wasn't there and I didn't want her in my room rooting around. So she phones me. I answer. 'You're refusing to let me in!' She yells. 'Carmen, please just calm down for a second!' I will not calm down! I have lost £100 worth of weed and I'm retracing my steps! What fucking angry emoji are you talking about!' She's literally screaming down the phone. 'You won't let me in!' Yeah,' I say, 'and right now the way you're behaving is making me feel validated for not doing so.' She keeps screaming so I hang up. She calls again, I decline. Fuck....my heart is racing. I feel nervous most of the time as it is and get bad anxiety regarding my physical safety, even though I've trained Juijitsu. This is my worst nightmare. She knows where I am. She's in the same building. I block her, lock my door and catch my breath.
So to all you guys who chose crazy as your answer for this girl - you win. I can't believe she would behave like this, so erratic. I know what it's like when you lose weed, but to treat someone like that is awful. And why did she say she only had a small amount to me? It's all weird. I wonder if there's something else going on...my mind is racing. I decide that tomorrow I'll ask to move to a different building. Luckily I'm moving to a different city in a week or two. 
You guys called it, I fucked up, I didn't listen. Now I feel unsafe in my own home, again. Damn weed. You could argue I should have just let her into check, but something told me not to. It didn't feel right. I'm still doubting this decision. Also wondering if this might be karma for trying to use her but that superstitious of course

 

 

Edited June 8 by Wisebaxter

[Wisebaxter]

16 hours ago, Basman said:

There are clearly positive aspects to her, playful, friendly, beautiful. But she's clearly a mess. She seems desperate for some kind of unconditional love which could be a hold-over from unmet childhood needs and she seems to project that need very intensely. Wanting unconditional love from adults is a childish notion and maybe why she is so obsessed with this "Tim" guy. He seems to her like someone who is going to give her the kind of love she craves.

If you where unscrupulous you could easily use her for sex. I can see it being harder to resist the temptation if you are more desperate for sex. she is supposedly beautiful.

Yeah good call on the Tim front. She must actually crave love and affection, or normality, surely. She's only 25 so she probably hasn't even stopped to think about it. She's just led this fucked up life and this is how she's turned out. Drives that settled, 'normal' people have might be buried for her. 
She's attractive in a certain text book sense, but for some reason I find her supremely ugly, obviously much more so now after all the drama. I did have the thought of sleeping with her as it's natural to go through that, but it was passing. Aside from the fact that yeah I like bigger women for the most part, the fact that she's been fucked so many times just puts me off. If it's not a challenge I really lose interest. Plus I didn't want to risk being rejected by someone like that when I have self esteem issues as it is. 

Edited June 9 by Wisebaxter

[Wisebaxter]

@Applegarden8

On 04/06/2024 at 9:07 PM, Applegarden8 said:

Tnx for the story. I would not engage with such a person, that's like the opposite of me.

Well you're the smart one. I'm the dumbass who's addicted to weed and also I think I felt sorry for her. I have this thing about trying to help people or show kindness to people who seems damaged, but I can clearly be naive about it. She seemed like she really wanted some company. Sure I'm lonely too, that's also a thing. I felt validated in a way, that someone wanted to hang out with me as I feel like some weird, pervert loner here. I've never met anyone like this. I'm from a relatively normal background. I've met some wild chicks but nobody like this. you learn the hard way I guess. If I escape this place without being stabbed by either her or one of her crazy lovers then I won't be making the same mistake. Right now I don't wanna leave my room as the door lock is broken and I'm worried she'll come in and steal from me. I'm here just waiting for that knock on the door again 

Edited June 9 by Wisebaxter

[Wisebaxter]

@Hojo

On 06/06/2024 at 0:16 AM, Hojo said:

Probably on meth

We don't really get meth here. That's more of a US issue I think. She does smoke copious amount of weed though and I know how much that can fuck with your head in some ways. She was very paranoid 

Edited June 8 by Wisebaxter

[Wisebaxter]

@integral

On 06/06/2024 at 1:07 AM, integral said:

“”A Manic Pixie Dream Girl (MPDG) is a stock character type in fiction, usually depicted as a young woman with eccentric personality quirks who serves as the romantic interest for a male protagonist. The term was coined by film critic Nathan Rabin after observing Kirsten Dunst's character in Elizabethtown (2005).””

Unfortunately these girls rarely really exist, I think your girl is the centre of attention type ESTP, loves the spotlight. Young dumb, Playful to a fault, You only live once paradigm.

She's some kind of type, that's for sure. Makes me realise how much of a sheltered life I've lived in many ways. I didn't even know these kinds of people existed. I've never met a girl who says she lives the 'Bimbo life' and is proud of it. It's a style apparently. The Bimbo style. 

Edited June 8 by Wisebaxter