Insight while suffering:

[Rishabh R]

:

So I couldn't eat my antidepressants medicine one  night. I was suffering (thoughts from the past like how girls treated me badly ), that I don't have a girlfriend , girls of my batch in college are dating other guys etc. Then after some time ( I guess 2 hours) I had an insight like I had a memory from much more before -- which I was telling my father to buy me a toy and when he denied I was angry, stressful, full of intrusive thoughts suffering for the thing which didn't matter .So I put that analogy to now like I was suffering for not having a girlfriend ( analogous to toy in my childhood) which is silly and it does not matter. I also like did self reflection ( feeling inwards) and I big smile came on my face .

[woohoo123]

This is a partial perspective but when I was in your position many years ago I heard a phrase ‘everyone out a relationship wants in, everyone in a relationship wants out’ it struck a chord in me and I remembered it, but didn’t have the life experience to go with it. 

10 years on…. I’m like this is so fucking true 

again it’s a partial perspective, but I found as a man you want a relationship, only to find once you have it you want some variety, a few more relationships, then you fear being tied down and you want to be free of relationships altogether, then you want to become a bit like Osho 

its unsatisfactory at all stages but that doesn’t mean you don’t walk the journey. Keeping that in mind helps alleviate suffering a bit (but it won’t eliminate it totally). That desire you feel right now stays with you so the key is learning to become aware, manage, enjoy the fruits and use it intelligently rather than expecting it to go away at the next stage. 

I would say, enjoy your freedom. You interpret it as lack but one can also interpret it as opportunity. There is no rush