Is it possible to lower one’s standard consciously?

[ArcticGong]

I’ve been single for a long time and I take full responsibility for it. One thing that would solve the problem real quick would be too lower my standard. Is it possible to consciously lower one’s standard and be happy about it? Many of my friends have done the same.

Edited May 16, 2024 by ArcticGong
Added information

[Yimpa]

It is important to understand why you have standards in the first place and what purpose do they serve in your life. 

[ArcticGong]

@Yimpa I will contemplate that. 

[AdamR95]

You can lower it to some degree and still be satisfied but how much it depends on you. You have to find ideal balance for yourself.

Edited May 16, 2024 by AdamR95

[universe]

Yes, I've done it in the past.

Actually, having too high standards was a trap, when I had almost zero experience with women.

If you are inexperienced with women and you lower you standards you reap the trinity of benefits, which is:

1. You start interacting with more women which will help you to even start setting standards

2. As you date and interact with more women you automatically get more experience and get better at it

3. When women notice you with other women it will increase their interest in you a lot

[ArcticGong]

8 hours ago, universe said:

Yes, I've done it in the past.

Actually, having too high standards was a trap, when I had almost zero experience with women.

If you are inexperienced with women and you lower you standards you reap the trinity of benefits, which is:

1. You start interacting with more women which will help you to even start setting standards

2. As you date and interact with more women you automatically get more experience and get better at it

3. When women notice you with other women it will increase their interest in you a lot

I agree. It’s a big trap to pedestalize beautiful women. 

[StarStruck]

You will be more desired as you have more experience with women. If you price yourself out of the market, you won’t get any experience and it will be a downward spiral. 

Nobody gets what he or she wants on the market place. It is a negotiation. And it has nothing to do with high or low consciousness. Women don’t look at that when choosing partner. 

After you fucked 5 regular chicks, the girls you truly desire will become accessible to you. In the same way that money attracts money. Women attract women. So you have to start with what you have. I suggest you read some red pill books because you trying to figure out this on your own will take you years which will be a waste of your time and energy. 

Edited May 17, 2024 by StarStruck

[NoSelfSelf]

@ArcticGong Your only standard is womens looks ,thats the problem you dont hold any other standard besides that,because her looks will detirmin how you gonna treat her and how you gonna move so lose lose...

Also every standard is conciously made(if its your own) so it shows you have no standards besides looks which is harmful in itself...

@StarStruck Delete that red pill bs or ill have to ban you unfortunately.

Edited May 17, 2024 by NoSelfSelf

[ArcticGong]

7 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@ArcticGong Your only standard is womens looks ,thats the problem you dont hold any other standard besides that,because her looks will detirmin how you gonna treat her and how you gonna move so lose lose...

Also every standard is conciously made(if its your own) so it shows you have no standards besides looks which is harmful in itself...

@StarStruck Delete that red pill bs or ill have to ban you unfortunately.

Let me clarify. I’m attracted to beautiful women. So, when at the club or any meat market, I gravitate towards beauty. In regular life, I appreciate the whole package. Is just that opportunities to interact with people are few and far in between. So, it’s hard to motivate oneself to approach strangers that your aren’t attracted to.

[NoSelfSelf]

@ArcticGong I understood everything no need for clarification, i also knew you think women are beautiful because of their looks and that moves you, which also shows me that you have low self worth etc.

Women are smart if i can see this they can see it 10 times more when you approach...

She will imidietlly sense he wants me just based on my looks alone and he wants to fuck, okay lets say no or put him on my list of needs ill have this guy to entertain me category when im bored.

 

Edited May 17, 2024 by NoSelfSelf

[ArcticGong]

14 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@ArcticGong I understood everything no need for clarification, i also knew you think women are beautiful because of their looks and that moves you, which also shows me that you have low self worth etc.

Women are smart if i can see this they can see it 10 times more when you approach...

She will imidietlly sense he wants me just based on my looks alone and he wants to fuck, okay lets say no or put him on my list of needs ill have this guy to entertain me category when im bored.

 

So how does one get over looks then, which was the original question, btw? To work with oneself? Most self work just inflate one’s vanity like going to the gym, reading books and half assing spirituality. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@ArcticGong Im tieing what im saying to the original queastion, im glad you said the last thing, see your thinking is on a superficial level you see self help same as you see a woman.When one doesnt have game his mind is rooted in outside so there cant be really the growth you want, its like when you get rooted in self you start to see things way deeper you dont look at resaults outside of yourself etc. You cant just get there with few tips its 100s of mindsets and behaviours that alignes before you look at things from your own lense.

Basically you cant because of superficial mind that needs reversing.

You need to lift weights in your mind to get real resaults vs muscles(if you not an athlete).

Its like when you talk with a woman where it comes from the message from superficial mind or "deep" mind is what makes it or breaks it what will impact the woman.

But you cant impact a woman if you looking at the body and not her mind(that comes from your mind)...well thats more deeper thinking than omg shes hot i wanna fuck..

Thats why standard is looks and not who she is.

Also im not saying go for "unattractive" go for 10/10 i dont care or 5/10(whatever this superficial ratings mean) it should not matter on bigger scale but all the deeper mind stuff.

Edited May 18, 2024 by NoSelfSelf

[strika]

On 17. 05. 2024. at 1:43 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

@ArcticGong

@StarStruck Delete that red pill bs or ill have to ban you unfortunately.

I agree with your view on this topic more than his but isn't banning him a bit mental? The guy is just sharing his view wtf? He's not saying he'll repeat 9/11. There is still truth to what he is saying, at least when it comes to the mainstream people, this applies to many of them, it's not the ultimate way of finding sex/love but it does work with many people.

[Jannes]

Men, there is actually so much to say about this.

I always feared that when I lower my standards I would rest in that place/ like I would solidify my standards if I actually commit to a deep relationship. I wouldn't want to use women as a means to an end like getting a "practice girl" to prepare me for the real thing. But my trap was that I was overly concerned about that psychological process.

When you get rejected a lot your psyche actually changes and is more attracted to character then beauty. I had a phase with such a terrible hairstyle that my looks dropped a lot and I experienced a shift in perspective. I actually liked that perspective, because I had to integrate more of a fighting spirit. 

I think if you are attracted to less hot girls then you should go for it. Your instincts aren't all that stupid, they evaluate/ calculate and strategize your situation. 

[ArcticGong]

18 minutes ago, Jannes said:

Men, there is actually so much to say about this.

I always feared that when I lower my standards I would rest in that place/ like I would solidify my standards if I actually commit to a deep relationship. I wouldn't want to use women as a means to an end like getting a "practice girl" to prepare me for the real thing. But my trap was that I was overly concerned about that psychological process.

When you get rejected a lot your psyche actually changes and is more attracted to character then beauty. I had a phase with such a terrible hairstyle that my looks dropped a lot and I experienced a shift in perspective. I actually liked that perspective, because I had to integrate more of a fighting spirit. 

I think if you are attracted to less hot girls then you should go for it. Your instincts aren't all that stupid, they evaluate/ calculate and strategize your situation. 

I feel the same about practice women. It feels dishonest to lead people on that one is not attracted to. And changing ones psyche due to rejection seem all good in theory but in practice you might find yourself getting more resentful and messing your vibe even more.

 

strategizing is the way to go. And putting oneself in situation where the mingle potential is high. The trade of there is that one might not be able to focus on health and higher pursuit at that time.  
 

 

[Jannes]

1 hour ago, ArcticGong said:

And changing ones psyche due to rejection seem all good in theory but in practice you might find yourself getting more resentful and messing your vibe even more.

That is something that happens somewhat automatically. Your brain receives and processes a lot of information. If you get a lot of rejection, or even in everyday life how people perceive you and give you feedback through body language and all that, that all programs your unconscious. I noticed when I got a better haircut and all the better confirmation I got from that immediately changed how I perceived myself status wise. I was even a bit annoyed by it because I just started to adapt strategies through my lower status. I was a lot more bold with lower status in certain ways, not a good strategy for higher status. 

1 hour ago, ArcticGong said:

strategizing is the way to go. And putting oneself in situation where the mingle potential is high. The trade of there is that one might not be able to focus on health and higher pursuit at that time.  

But socializing is healthy for you. But sure you can overdo it of course. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@strika well red pill is not allowed on here,so if you mention it and you know its forbidden you will get minimum 1 warning point ,he had 19 so 1 warning point was a ban because he chose not to delete part where he recommended toxic virus...

[ArcticGong]

Geting drunk automatically lower one’s standards and one might get laid more often . But that don’t rhyme with spirituality and health ,basically a short term strategy which the average normie resort to. 

7 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@ArcticGong

 

Basically you cant because of superficial mind that needs reversing.

You need to lift weights in your mind to get real resaults vs muscles(if you not an athlete).

 

 

So how do I lift weights with my mind? Go out and get rejected on a regular basis?

[NoSelfSelf]

@ArcticGong Standard is precisely made so no alchochol,emotion can lower it that's the poin,t because something that benefits you short term wont benefit you in big picture.Like if your only standard is looks then you fail long term,if she gets fat you are done,if she gets old you are done.

In example of rejection you should get rejected so many times that by using mental gym you dont even see it as rejection you go beyond your thinking, to not fall into being a victim,blame your situation or women,but to push through in your mind to go beyond.Its purpose is to push through limitations you set on yourself.

[UnbornTao]

Sure.