So Much Work Needed.

[spicy_pickles]

Today made me realize how out of touch I am with life. 

My relationship is terrible. Realized today I've been made to feel guilty for just about everything. Even though I realize this, it's hard to break away, because, as I mentioned, I feel like I'll be "ruining lives" if I do. 

I'm gaining weight left right and centre. I have an amazing job, but I feel like the other stress gets in the way of it. 

I turn to booze for comfort. 

I don't even know where to start. 

[Prabhaker]

6 hours ago, spicy_pickles said:

I turn to booze for comfort. 

Your consciousness is burdened so much with anxieties, worries, anguish, that you take a drink and feel good because your consciousness goes to sleep. Perhaps for a few moments you can drown it in alcohol, but the next morning it will come back, worse than it was before. Then you call it a hangover. You suffer the hangover; still again you are going to drink, knowing perfectly well that the hangover is coming.

You are drinking because you are in search of meditation. The desire to forget oneself is desire of the meditator too. You have taken up drinking by mistake. Drink meditation, if this new taste suits you , the old one will become tasteless. Until you have begun to like the new taste, it is foolish to drop the old one.

[HelloThere]

Ok so you are talking about alot of different issues that probably have very different approaches to solve them. You seem overwhelmed. I would be. I have been. Being overwhelmed is one of the biggest debilitating factors I think. I mean how are you going to muster the strength and dedication to solve your problems if you're given a scary pile of crap to deal with right from the start and told to solve it all together. That probably won't work very well so don't tell yourself you have to solve it all together. That's almost like an excuse for why not to start solving them. Pick one of the issues and make sure it is one that you actually really would love to be changed instead of it just being sort of nice. Might wanna pick a smaller one too so after you do make a good amount of progress (happens quicker when it's smaller) with it you'll start to feel achievement and prove to yourself that you can actually tackle issues.

I was a binge eater/drinker and loved it. Then I slowly started decreasing those by actually realizing and believing they were going to (very slowly but surely) make me sadder in the long run. Started going to the gym and counting calories (didn't do those things together right away either). And this progress happened with several ups and downs(fallbacks) but the average situation was getting better because I believed that it was a good way to go.

So just pick some aspects and start chipping away at them. I still love binge eating and drinking, I just rarely do because deep down I know it's just really fun but not fulfilling. Also after a while I started seeing the results of not doing it and they pretty much even out so you are like meh, I don't really need the binging that much and even if I sometimes do it doesn't hurt my average. Also you enjoy it alot more when you usually don't do it kind of like with getting laid after a long time  so there's another perk if you like the intensity of pleasure.

Now that I think of it when it came to losing weight I did get hard and strict on myself because I was like if I'm going to give up the food that I love so much it better be worth it and I better not be disappointed at myself for giving it up. But after a while when I started to see that it was working and I started believing in myself then I relaxed and didn't worry about fallbacks as long as the average was improving. When you beat yourself up too much and stress yourself out you will be so so so much more likely to break and give in. You'll be weak. So pick some combination that suits you and gets you results .

Sorry for the wall of text apparently I like to talk alot. Truly wish you the best of luck. It worked for me so I know and feel it can work for you. Oh and accept it can take a good amount time. People don't change that quickly so don't force it.

Edited April 19, 2017 by HelloThere