Fear of Hooking Up with a Trans

[blessedlion1993]

Need serious advice and feedback on this.

 

A few nights ago i went to walk the beach, i saw a girl reading a spritual book and sat down next to her, we had an amazing conversation for like an hour and a great connection. That night we went out for a drink and starting hooking up. I noticed her hands were kinda big but didn't think too much of it. She also told me she was traveling (she was Argentinian) with friends and she had 3 ex boyfriend (one of 6 years, one of 4 years and one of 6 years), she had a dog and was close with her family. This indicated she was likely not trans bc trans people are usually quite traumatized and unstable (imo if you decide to change your gender you have to have at least some serious trauma or mental issues, no one with normal mental health does that, sorry)

Anyway, we're hooking up and it's really hot, i ask her if she wants to come over and she is down, we hook up even more and get undressed and everything looks fine, in fact, she has an incredible body and wide hips (a sign of feminine) but the hands were still kinda tripping me out.

 

It was until i started fingering her that i felt a bit wierd, her vagina was very much not wet and felt different to other vaginas, it was really small and just like a hole, so she was either really tight or something was up, but i can objectively say it was different, but i also could be in my head too much.

I ended up stopping because i was freaked out, and asked her if everything was normal down there/did she have issues getting wet (i know, kinda dick move but i was curious) she was upset, cried a little and wanted to go home. 

 

I still don't know what happened and if she was trans, i stalked her insta and found no evidence of it, and in fact she has a pretty feminine body and is really hot. The thing is the surgeries have gotten even better these days and it is genuinely hard to tell. IMO this is fucked up and should always be discolsed as it can traumatize the guy involved. I don't care what you say, a dude is a dude no matter what he does to his body, gross. 

 

Anyway, any help or insight? Now i'm kinda tripping and it is really bugging me. I almost want to just directly ask her but that's such a dick move.

 

Thanks

[Princess Arabia]

Not all trans are traumatized or have been through traumatic experiences. Some people are just naturally that way; born one sex, but feel like another. It's these stereotypes that make some of them reclusive and feel so much different than the rest of society. It is just another variant within the Absolute where nothing is excluded.

You're judging and calling them sick and traumatized and whatever else you said but you're sticking your fingers where they don't belong up somebody's crotch that you don't even know if they are a man or a woman. You think trying to eliminate your doubts by asking someone to put you at ease as to whether they are male or female, is a dick move but not sticking your finger up their crotch and leaving them crying and wanting to go home didn't bother you. This sounds like a very young and naive person to me but that's just my assumption.

Nobody on here is going to be able to tell you if this person was male or female. How can they. And why would it traumatize you so if it was a man that looked so cute and feminine and that you weren't aware. You didn't know and that's it. Why the trauma. 

 

[Princess Arabia]

5 hours ago, blessedlion1993 said:

trans people are usually quite traumatized and unstable (imo if you decide to change your gender you have to have at least some serious trauma or mental issues, no one with normal mental health does that, sorry)

This is so far from the truth. Most are traumatized for not being accepted by society and from people calling them gross. People just don't go around wanting to be the opposite sex because of trauma. It's the "regular" people who act traumatized by them wanting to change their sex or by being attracted to them and not realizing what they are. I know because I used to be friends with some and I have been around that lifestyle and the people in that culture. They are some of the nicest people you will ever meet and are less fucked-up than their straight counterparts.

They are just on edge because of how society treats them and sees them even though there are plenty of straight men who are secretly turned on by them. 

Edited May 11 by Princess Arabia

[Nemra]

8 hours ago, blessedlion1993 said:

IMO this is fucked up and should always be disclosed as it can traumatize the guy involved.

You traumatized her.

8 hours ago, blessedlion1993 said:

I don't care what you say, a dude is a dude no matter what he does to his body, gross. 

☝️There's your problem.

[Abe27]

12 hours ago, blessedlion1993 said:

This indicated she was likely not trans bc trans people are usually quite traumatized and unstable (imo if you decide to change your gender you have to have at least some serious trauma or mental issues, no one with normal mental health does that, sorry)

Don't you think many trans people get traumatized from these reasons? Being born in a body you don't like, and from the stigma being treated poorly.

I would have asked her when i noticed har large hands. From a point of cruiosity, since trans people deffinetly exist, and she very well could be one without one knowing. I would have asked if it was something of my interest. Now it's very much to late with what you have done. 

[Nemra]

@Abe27 

I wonder how he would feel if girls asked him why he's so worried and told him that it's feminine of him to be like that; it's gross. 😁

Edited May 11 by Nemra

[Abe27]

@Nemra I don't understand the comment?

[NoSelfSelf]

What kind of connection was it,based on what exactly?

[Schizophonia]

Lol, what's the problem ? 

Even if she's a transsexual she's just someone looking for love and/or sexual relationships.
You yourself said that she was physically and intellectually attractive.

If you're not interested in dating her because she's trans, because you have a blockage, you want kids or whatever, then you do what you want.
Everyone has their own cross.

[josemar]

Man cannot get woman wet. 

Accuses her of being trans.

 

Only way to know for sure, is post her insta here. We'll investigate 📸

[NoSelfSelf]

@josemar We not gonna do that 🤦‍♂️

[LastThursday]

@blessedlion1993 she could have been intersex. More information below. But honestly if it didn't work for you, then just move on and don't worry about it. Or she could have just had big hands 🤷

 

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, josemar said:

Man cannot get woman wet. 

Accuses her of being trans.

 

Only way to know for sure, is post her insta here. We'll investigate 📸

Funny

[Basman]

I remember there being a post about this exact topic and issue of a guy being sexually traumatized after sleeping with a transwoman unknowingly and everyone shitting on him for it.

It is an issue of informed consent and communication. It is impossible to have a healthy and ethical relationship without trust. You basically asked if she's "normal" and she got upset. What does that say? Probably that she isn't "normal" and that she has a complex over it. I do think that if this girl was trans that she should've told you. 

I don't think you did anything wrong. If she seemed to be trans to you then it was going to come up sooner or later. Better sooner IMO.

[Ulax]

Next time just start whispering "JK Rowling, JK Rowling, JK Rowling" and see how she reacts

[blessedlion1993]

14 hours ago, Nemra said:

You traumatized her.

☝️There's your problem.

Lol , none of you phase me with your PC bullshit. It's absolutely not cool to not disclose if you had a sex change. That's fucked up and very inconsiderate of the other person who maybe doesn't want to be with a transgender person. 

 

I'm def not posting her instagram

 

@NoSelfSelf it was a nice spiritual connection.

 

Anyway, at this point im like 95% she's female and i was just tripping. Thanks for the help tho, in the future i am just going to ask straight up from the get-go because it could've been a nice connection. 

[Nemra]

@blessedlion1993

You haven't even proven to yourself that she's trans. Based on your guess, you are creating a scenario where she could be trans and then thinking that it can traumatize you and wanting to defend people like you from that situation, while you are claiming that trans people are mentally ill. Who's BSing who. Get a life.

[Javfly33]

14 hours ago, blessedlion1993 said:

It's absolutely not cool to not disclose if you had a sex change.

lol

[QVx]

You need to undertake some significant therapy @blessedlion1993 when it comes to sexuality.

[Basman]

1 hour ago, QVx said:

You need to undertake some significant therapy @blessedlion1993 when it comes to sexuality.

The majority of people are not interested in dating trans people. There is nothing inherently wrong with what he said.

Being condescending and manipulative only makes your cause look bad.