Swinging until suicide

[thierry]

Before judging this thread being irresponsible or and immature. Take a moment to really understand my project: 

basically I fucked up in this life. 
I had trouble from 14 to 18 and ended up with fatigue chronic and bipolar disorder but I did well att school because I put all my eggs into studying. Anyway after when a gf entered my life the first time, that s here I understood how fucked up I was. I squander the relationship from a to z. The girl was totally in Love with me. It was easier to not screw than to screw but I like challenges! 
anyway I was very serious prepararing ingenireeng school and made lots of sports from 19 to 22 but at 22 I discoverd Leo so of course at 23 I started my psychedelics journey or should I say my shroom journey.  One year was enough to put me into psych ward were my body mind has been forsaken forever. I’ve been in a very very very dark place for 4years. But enough is enough, I won’t carry all that unconsciousness/ shiet my all life. I wanna die with a mignimum of dignity and the more I wait the more my dignity decrease. Anyway, I ll find a way to kill myself and to know what there is after you kill yourself !! I’m so excited for this adventure. Sorry for the excitements of this post I took to many xanax before writing. That shit is gooooood. I hope some people will understand that this surfing ntil suicide attitude is my best possible attitude regarding now. I have nothing to bring to anyone, I am a leash to my wonderful family. I just can’t wait to put a bullet between my two eyes.

plz don’t judge. It’s actually a very serious topic. I don’t recommand that to anyone unless you are in a similar situation where you are carrying an enormous amount of shiets.

I’ll of course write loving letters to all people I love and once I will become a demon if god does not let me pass to Heaven I’ll send all that touch my family in hell. 
kiss kiss

[thierry]

I can not wait for that moment where absolutely nothing would have matter !! 

[thierry]

 

[thierry]

The only thing I am scared is will I still breath after death ? I don want to choke to death  after death. 

[XYZ]

Committing suicide for anything other than economic reasons is just retarded, and a waste of life you could be enjoying. The point of it all is to actually let go of your sense of separate ego identity, and let your true self embody your body while still alive and actively participating within the human dream.

[thierry]

15 minutes ago, XYZ said:

Committing suicide for anything other than economic reasons is just retarded, and a waste of life you could be enjoying. The point of it all is to actually let go of your sense of separate ego identity, and let your true self embody your body while still alive and actively participating within the human dream.

Lol committing suicide for economic reason is retarded. 
commiting suicide for broken mind and health is exquisite 

[An young being]

Hold on, and life will reverse. Nothing is permanent. 

Spirituality has many paths, and I suggest you start exploring them, Buddhism and Hinduism might change your world views.

[XYZ]

These are things that you can heal. If you do have the time and money, there exist plenty of services that can help with that.  I remember how Leo searched high and low trying everything to figure out and heal his health problems, I suggest you do the same.

[James123]

4 hours ago, thierry said:

I can not wait for that moment where absolutely nothing would have matter !! 

It is now! You are already. Illusion comes from just so called attachment with thoughts. That's all. 

[puporing]

Just ending your current life/body will not automatically get you to heaven. There's more work before that if that's what you want.

So basically whatever your last shroom trip was, that might be roughly where you end up in terms of your state. It's very likely you'll just come back again to another life and do it all over again from a baby.

Edited April 28 by puporing

[Hojo]

You are going to die anyway there's no reason to kill yourself. You cant fuck up a life you are doing what you are meant to be doing. Don't like it? Change mentally not physically. If you die and have to re do your life cause you will want too you will do it all the exact same cause you are still in the same mind space. Its about growth not giving up. 

If you kill yourself all you will say is fuck why did I do that? Now the body is broken and I can't go back and have to wait for God to give me a new one.

God will say you will be waiting a long time cause i gave you a beautiful machine but you just blew it up!

Edited April 28 by Hojo

[Princess Arabia]

8 hours ago, XYZ said:

Committing suicide for anything other than economic reasons is just retarded,

This statement sounds retarded.

[Princess Arabia]

I know if I was going to commit suicide I wouldn't be starting a forum thread about it. I wouldn't be responding with laughter to silly commentary. I wouldn't be posting cartoon videos and turning this decision into a fiasco and dramatic play and waiting around for responses to the threat of ending my life like a sequel for my dramatic exit. 

Then again, who knows , this is Absolute Infinity where everything's included and nothing's excluded, so welcome to the party. Buckle up and enjoy the ride. The ride that never ends. 

Edited April 28 by Princess Arabia

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

Death is not the end, and it doesn't lead to "liberation" (despite of what all the deranged spiritual bypassers on this forum are constantly saying). The energy that you are cannot ever dissolve, and the energetic momentum (or karma) of your individual self will most likely continue after the body has perished. So don't think that death is the "easy way out", cause it isn't.

Anyway, I hope that this was just the Xanax talking.

Life can be a tremedous challenge, but there's no way to dodge it. Accept the challenge, take the steering wheel of your life firmly into your hands, make incremental changes, do whatever it takes to turn the tide and in a few years you may look back and be incredibly proud and happy of the fact that you found the strength and courage to pull through.

[Soul Flight]

@thierry I will pray for you. Dial 988 to talk to someone about your situation or text 988.

You might be in a mental health crisis. Keep working on it and try medicine. Talk to your family, friends, and doctor. Reach out. The obstacle is the path. The struggle is real.

One love. 

Maybe a moderator could chime in here.

[Harikrishnan]

I hope you find Love before you commit suicide.

[Max1993]

@thierry Keep letting the mushrooms heal you, try healing in any way you can first, just to know you have tried everything, I am bipolar and I only recently found a balance, it is worth it, mark my words... You have no idea how ridiculously good life can still get, why be conservative by drawing conclusions way too early? I have been in your spot just listen! 

Edited April 28 by Max1993

[Davino]

I know you feel like shit, but you can't surrender to that feeling, you need to keep fighting and having faith even when there seems to be none. You can't let yourself down now, just for today make it a desire to continue living, keep walking, one step at a time, one breath united to the next, you'll make it, I believe in you

[Bobby_2021]

Whenever you feel like killing yourself, postpone it for 2 weeks. 

See the progress you can make in two weeks. Spend that time in introspection. Do something new. Go out. Help someone. Make money. Go cycling. Walk your dog. Spend time in the woods. Take on a new project. Something will happen that will change your mind.

[Ulax]

Dude, you have all of eternity to be dead. Why not just stick around and see how this plays out? You never know for sure what could happen.